122 of 124 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Excellent Book On Breaking Free From Overthinking, November 20, 2003
Women Who Think Too Much came out earlier this year, and I gobbled it up in two sittings. Several people have borrowed this book from me, and have found it incredibly insightful. (And not all have been women, either!) This book features a breakthrough new method that teaches you how to free yourself from the negative cycles of overthinking.
What is overthinking? Nolen-Hoeksma, a professor of Psychology, contends that our society is both fast-paced and overly-self-analytical. The self-help section in bookstores bulge with upteen ways to analyze yourself and gaze at your bellybutton. With this self-analysis comes over-thinking--and Nolen-Hoeksema has discovered that women are more prone to overthink than men. Women spend countless hours fruitlessly thinking about negative ideas, feelings, experiences, and relationships. The result of this over-thinking? A huge number of women are feeling sad, anxious, or seriously depressed.
The author provides case studies, but they aren't presented in a dry, intellectual tone. She connects the dots between the research and how it impacts women in their day-to-day lives. Chapter titles include What's Wrong With OverThinking?, Married to My Worries: Overthinking Intimate Relationships, Always On The Job: Overthinking Work and Careers, and ten other chapters. The great thing about this book is that it doesn't just talk about why overthinking is bad for mental, emotional, and even physical health, but also provides several chapters on how to break free from overthinking and move to higher ground.
In the Chapter If It Hurts So Much, Why Do We Do It?, the author explains fascinating discoveries in brain science, and how when we think of one bad thing, it usually cascades into a torrent of negative thoughts and emotions. She writes:
"The organization of our brain sets us up for overthinking. Each little thought and memory we hold in our mind does not sit there isolated and independent from other thoughts. Instead, our thoughts are woven together in intricate networks of associations...This intricate organization of the brain into in interconnected networks of memories, thoughts, and feelings greatly increases our efficiency of thinking. It's what helps us see similarities and connections between issues...But our spiderweb of a brain also makes it easy to overthink. In particular, the fact that negative mood connects negative thoughts and memories, even when these thoughts and memories have nothing else to do with one another, sets us up for overthinking. When you are in a bad mood for any reason, your mood activates--literally lights up--those nodes of your brain that hold negative memories from the past and negative ways of thinkings. This makes them highly accessible: it's easier to get there with your conscious thoughts. This is why it is easier to think of negative things when you are in a bad mood than when you are in a good mood. It is also easier to see interconnections between the bad things in your life when you are in a bad mood..."
The author describes three phases of conquering overthinking, and covers each phase in separate chapters: breaking free of its grip, moving to higher ground and gaining a new perspective, and avoiding future traps by building your resources. Not only does she provide example scenarios of how to implement these strategies, but she also has a quick reference section in chart form at the end of each of these chapters. For example:
Strategy: Don't go there.
Description: Choose not to get involved in situations that arouse overthinking.
Example: Jan knew that spending too much time with her mother was sure to result in weeks of overthinking, so she kept her visits short.
Another example:
Strategy: Let go of unhealthy goals
Description: Let go of goals that are impossible or that cause you to act self-destructively.
Example: Briana decided that rather than try to lose 50 pounds by starving herself, she would lose 20 with a diet prescribed by her doctor.
I highly recommend this book for anyone interested in neuro-science and the thought/emotion connection, as well as those looking for pratical strategies to manage negative self-talk and unproductive mental chatter.
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69 of 71 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Strategies to help stop OverThinking, February 9, 2003
By A Customer
The author explains how "overthinking" is more than ordinary worrying, different than OCD, and distinct from self-reflective 'deep' thinking. She describes overthinking as ruminating mostly about the past, whereas most worrying is thinking about what might happen in the future (which can be a constructive form of negative thinking). Overthinking easily gets out of control, becoming rant-and-rave or chaotic. The distinctions and definitions in the book make good sense and are based on years of credible research. I like the way the author is particularly sensitive to the pressures in contemporary society that increase overthinking -- she is especially perceptive to the situation of women in America today. The most helpful parts of the book are summarized in several 2-page sections called "A Quick Reference Guide" and these are very useful strategies for daily life. Overall, this is an excellent and well written self-help book for general readers. I think of it as the long, serious version of the both humorous and helpful semi-Zen, not-thinking 'Do Nothing Exercises' in Karen Salmansohn's book "How To Change Your Entire Life By Doing Absolutely Nothing." Working on strategies for healthier thinking is definitely a worthwhile personal project.
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88 of 95 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Overthinking in the context of other thinking issues, February 28, 2003
I absolutely agree that Susan Nolen-Hoeksema's new book "Women Who Think Too Much" is the best book available on Overthinking (she is the genuine expert) and an essential addition to any library on improving thinking styles. Of course, which book is most helpful and insightful for a particular individual depends heavily on that individual's temperament, cognitive style, and philosphy of life. "Optimal Thinking" by R. Glickman is an excellent book for realists. Optimists likely would prefer "Positive Thinking" by Vera Peiffer, and pessimists tend to like "The Positive Power of Negative Thinking" by J. Norem. And so on. Effective thinking is a big, complex, and significant issue in human life and relationships. "Women Who Think Too Much" is a very nice and very helpful contribution to the pool of available books, and Susan Nolen-Hoeksema is a thoughtful and clear writer. Her focus on 'overthinking' is an important warning on the well researched dangers of rumination and hopeless pessimism. Yet it is also important to note that there is a type of pessimistic thinking that is very constructive (for some people) because it is anticipatory reflection about what might go wrong in the near future, playing through worst case scenarios to manage anxiety about upcoming events and challenges adaptively. This is very different from pessimistic rumination about the past (which is hopeless). Equally important to note is that unrealistic optimists tend to be 'underthinkers' in unhealthy ways. So appreciate this excellent book "Women Who Think Too Much" but don't forget that No One Size (or model of psychological health) fits all of us.
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