Women Without Children: The Reasons, the Rewards, the Regrets [Hardcover]

Susan S. Lang (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 1991

Based on interviews with more than sixty women, an insightful resource offers support and guidance to the growing "invisible minority" of women who chose not to have children, have infertility problems, or waited too long. Reprint. AB. IP.

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Editorial Reviews

From Kirkus Reviews

After interviewing 63 white, educated, middle-class women between the ages of 36 and 100, Lang (author of a YA book, Extremist Groups in America, 1990) concludes that the compensations for being childless (she prefers ``child-free'') exceed the losses, that women without children lead rich (literally saving $125,000 for a ``no-frills'' child, $600,000 for the luxury model) and fulfilling lives. According to various studies Lang cites, over 15% of women now in their childbearing years will remain childless for various reasons: infertility; belated, unstable, or failed marriages; lack of maternal or paternal interest (50% of 1100 women interviewed in one study considered their husbands ``lousy'' fathers); financial strain (30% of an annual income can be required to support a child); demanding careers (60% of top female executives are childless but only 10% of the comparable males); demanding stepchildren; or lesbian orientation (only 15-30% of lesbians have children). The disadvantages, Lang says, include occasional ``feelings of sadness and loneliness,'' ``regret'' over missing a major life experience, social and parental pressure, and an assortment of health problems. Women with children also have health problems, many associated with obesity, and suffer ``pain and disappointment'' over children who fail and stress from their ``incessant demands,'' reduced financial resources, and loss of time--three months a year are spent on child-rearing. The child- free, on the other hand, use their time and money for ``nurturing and networking,'' traveling, raising pets; they enjoy ``an exceptionally intimate relationship'' with their mates, and continue their ``self-growth.'' The group Lang studies is selective, her statistics questionable (she reports that the American father spends an ``average'' of 38 seconds a day with his infant child), and her observations often self-evident: ``Reproduction, of course, is vital for the survival of the species.'' Still, her crisp journalistic style and extensive quoting from introspective and articulate women make this a slick read--and a chilling revelation of how women without children view the world of motherhood. -- Copyright ©1991, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 278 pages
• Publisher: Pharos Books (October 1991)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0886875323
• ISBN-13: 978-0886875329
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.7 x 1.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #809,564 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

29 of 29 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful interviews, July 24, 2002

By 

E. Peelle (Texas, USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Women Without Children: The Reasons, the Rewards, the Regrets (Hardcover)

I enthusiastically recommend this interesting, well-written, well-researched, easy-to-read book. Wonderful interviews with real women--not composites--are interwoven with research results and statistics. Several chapters are arranged around reasons Lang's interviewees had not had children: "The Never Married, Choosing to be Child Free, No Time Was the Right Time, When Men Don't Want to Father, Infertility and Medical Interference, and Women Who Love Women."

See chapter 11 for a refreshing look at the stereotype that childless women are selfish, including self-centered reasons that parents give for having children. See chapter 15 for an eye-opening discussion of old age and childlessness: it isn't as gloomy as you might think. The tone throughout is neutral: not anti-motherhood or anti-children.

Women like me who wanted children can probably find both comfort and information here. This book would be useful for young women considering whether to have children and also for family members or friends of childless women. Possible drawbacks (which I did not mind) are that the research and statistics are now a decade old and that one might have to settle for a used copy. Index and end notes.

For practical emotional support on how to come to terms with unwanted childlessness in only one book, read Linda Hunt Anton, "Never To Be A Mother: A Guide For All Women Who Didn't--Or Couldn't--Have Children" (1992).

24 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Stories from women who have been there, July 18, 2001

By 

Fiona Doglover (Manitou Springs, CO United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Women Without Children: The Reasons, the Rewards, the Regrets (Hardcover)

As a 41-year old woman who is coming to terms with continuing my life childless, aka "child free", I found this book a wonderful source of insight and inspiration. Granted, the book is not that scientific, but it's an important book for the minority of women who, either by chance or choice -- or a little of both -- are childless.

I would recommend it to anyone who is deciding whether or not to become a parent, who is struggling with infertility, grieving the loss of a child through miscarriage, or wants to reaffirm a child free existence.

16 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Well written and helpful, March 10, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: Women Without Children: The Reasons, the Rewards, the Regrets (Paperback)

Susan Lang sought out child-free women of several generations to interview for this book. Her interviews and research gave quite a bit of insight into the emotions and reasonings of these women. Several interviews hit so close to home that I was in tears. I would strongly recommend this book to any woman trying to decide on a child-free way of life. I could see where the book might also give some comfort to those women that didn't have a choice.