Customer Reviews

Woods of Evil

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Being the sucker that I am for a new "horror" flick, I just rented this movie. I need to learn to not let the box fool me!!! Oh, it gets your attention with..... unrated director's cut, where predators become prey, deep in the forest evil awaits and some cool pictures. What it should say is that what awaits you is a CHEAP, HORRIBLY ACTED, LOW BUDGET film! To me, it seems like the writers of this movie weren't sure what kind of movie they wanted to make! I do admit that the few killing scenes were kinda cool even though very fake looking. Seems like they wanted to make a Friday The 13th rip-off movie. Three thugs kidnap 2 girls which they hold for ransom in a cabin in the woods. The film jumps from us seeing a man walking the woods killing people to the thugs trying to get their ransom money. It just didn't mix. And the 2 girls........... Please Take Acting Lessons!!!!! along with the rest of the cast! Don't let the box fool you. I wouldn't recommend anyone even rent this movie. You will find yourself fast forwarding thru it like I did and you will regret wasting your time and money on this joke of a "horror" movie!!

Remember the name Conrad Glover-he wrote,directed,produced and stars in this piece of guano that makes 'Plan Nine From Outer Space' look like 'Citizen Kane'. The sound is hollow, the production values are nil, the script is beyond idiotic, and the cast can't even be referred to as actors and watch the characters playing the rich parents of two kidnapped girls-they dress and look as if they were cast at a soup kitchen on skid row. Another classic piece of casting involves the police detective investigating the two missing girls-she has longer dredlocks than the alien from the Predator movies, and is scarier. Please, please, please Mr Glover don't make any more movies.

For actually thinking this movie would be anything more than a gigantic piece of crap. From start to finish there is nothing even remotely scary or frightening about this DVD. Except for the fact that it actually got made and put on DVD for all to suffer through it. Story (as for as horror films go) it sucks. I mean seriously why in the world would you kidnap those 2 girls all to talk them and me to death. If your gonna kidnap someone you dont drive for a few minutes and the park at a "secluded" cabin in the woods. Or meet with the father of one of the kidnap victims in broad daylight. Even the death scenes really did nothing for me at all. I can normally find some pleasure in that but not with this steaming pile of garbage. I don't want to tell the story more such as it is. In case folks want to see this seriously rent this only at your own risk. I doubt that you will want to purchase it or maybe even finish the movie itself. Bad acting, bad camera just plain is all i can say about this.

I watch a lot of low to no budget horror movies. I understand that I'm probably not going to see many masterworks of cinematic expression among these small projects. However, I have seen some very good examples of micro-budget film making done right, and have sat in awe of just how much can be accomplished w/ so little money. Even in the mediocre efforts I can handle the sub-par acting, wobbly dialogue, and clunky camera work. That said, there is only one thing I cannot tolerate in any movie, and that is sheer boredom! WOODS OF EVIL takes the killer-in-the-woods idea, mixes it w/ a kidnapping story, and pads it out w/ at least an hour of unnecessary, sometimes ridiculous "exposition" and "action". It might have made a decent 20-30 minute short film, but at 90 min. it plods along like a tortoise pulling a glacier. Dull to the point of inducing flashbacks and / or near-death experiences, this one should be sealed in lead and buried deep within the rocky depths of Nevada...

>>>>>>**PLEASE DON'T BE FOOLED BY THE COVER ART THIS ISN'T HORROR PEEPS!

WHAT LENGTHS ARE U WILLING 2 GO IN ORDER 2 GET FAST CASH? IN THIS TALE 3

MORONS WANTED A FEW GRANDS ASAP, SO THEY EACH THINK OF WAYS 2 GET THE $$$

FAST. THEY FINALLY SEE THAT ALL OF THE OTHER PLANS WEREN'T WORKING WHILE

ANTICIPATING THEIR NEXT SCHEME THEY FIND A SECTION IN THE PAPERS ABOUT

A WEALTHY REAL ESTATE MOGUL & HIS DAUGHTER WOULD BE @ A LOCAL RESTAURANT.

THEY MAKE A DEAL W/ THE MANAGER 2 GET MORE INFO & 2 KEEP THEIR PLAN

INTACT... THE MANAGER CALLS CHARISSE'S CELL# & GETS HER & HER FRIEND IN

THE RESTROOM THEN CUT THE LIGHTS (THE KIDNAPPERS WERE IN THE BATHROOM FROM

THE START THEN ABDUCTS THE 2 FOR RANSOM). THE KIDNAPPERS TAKE THE 2 CHICS

2 AN ISOLATED CABIN IN THE ALLEDGED "WOODS OF EVIL".
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***AVOID THE WOODS FOLKS REMEMBER TOURIST TRAP, WRONG TURN & BLAIR WITCH

PROJECTS? CONSIDER YOURSELVES WARNED!*** THERE'S A SLUGGISH REPUGNANT

LARGE HICK COMMITNG THESE VARIOUS MURDERS! *%THE ONLY THING THAT I LIKE

ABOUT THE MOVIE IS THE FACT THAT YOUR $$ DOESN'T MEAN $#*+ 2 DEATH WHEN

IT COMES IT DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOUR RACE OR SOCIAL STATUS, IT CUTS DEEP!!

***"THIS 1 IS DEDICATED 2 THE UPITITY "CLASSIST & EGREGIOUS"!!!!"
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>RECOGNIZE WHAT'S REAL!<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<