Customer Reviews

Words That Change Minds: Mastering the Language of Influence 2nd edition

5 star:		(16)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

This book presents meta-programs (the content-free filters we use to make up our model of the world) in a simple, understandable and highly readable way. It's based on the Language and Behaviour (LAB) Profile developed by Rodger Bailey - a simplification of the original 60 (!) meta-programs down to 14, along with the questions you can use to elicit them. This is a kind of psychometric test, although as people may have different meta-programs in different contexts, and they may change over time, it's not about pigeonholing people. Shelle also tells you the kind of language to use to reach particular kinds of people - useful in sales, negotiation, motivation and deciding who to hire for a particular job. The book is chatty with a good sense of humour. As an NLP trainer I recommend it!

Only last year (2001), two members of the Harvard University Graduate School of Education brought out a book snappily entitled "How the Way We Talk can Change the Way we Work". It's an excellent book but it was a little strange to see it referred to by some critics as "new", and an example of "breakthrough thinking".

Why?

Because although the two books are not addressing *exactly* the same area, Ms Charvet's "Words that Change Minds", first published in 1996, can readily be seen as a precursor to the later book.

Although it is usually referred to in connection with Rodger Bailey's LAB Profile work, this book is in fact based on a subset of the "meta programs", or mental filters, first identified by Leslie Lebeau (formerly Leslie Cameron-Bandler).

What makes this book so valuable is that instead of simply describing the meta programs on a purely theoretical level (as many previous authors had done), Ms Charvet places each one in a very practical context. She tells us not only the basics of each meta program but also such practical details as:

- what questions to use to elicit a person's position on any of the meta programs discussed
- how to identify what meta program positions are best suited to a given job
- and how to frame a job or product advert so that it "speaks to" the optimum audience

There is also a wealth of anecdotes from real life that illustrate the meta programs at work - like why the US was never comfortable as members of UNESCO, why a single word undermined one of IBM's big advertising campaigns, and why a Jewish mother may recommend chicken soup because "it couldn't hurt".

And on top of all that, the book is written in an enthusiastic, flowing style that makes reading it both easy and enjoyable.

Highly recommended for *anyone* who wants to understand the practicalities of how language works.

As a teacher of business writing, I do not recommend this book to all my students; I only recommend it to the ones who are serious and want to take that extra step. I tell them that this is a book that shows you how to pay close attention to the words you use, whether speaking or writing, so that you maximize the impact you have on the specific person you are communicating with.

I applied some of the concepts in the book to a case study in a writing workshop I teach. Students are fascinated by it. They often say things like, "I can't believe something so subtle could be that powerful," and, "I wish I had known about this when I had so much trouble getting my previous boss to even listen to me."

The theories in the book result from research in neuro-linguistic programming. They use fancy concepts such as profiles, filters, and meta programs. But the author translates it all in a way that makes it easy to understand. And she gives hundreds of examples of how you can apply it to situations at work where you need people to listen to you, understand you, and even agree with you.

If you work in human resources, this book is especially valuable because the author provides many examples of assessing how people think. This can be used to match people to the right jobs and to help them improve their interpersonal communications.

I rated this book 5 stars because I think it is superior in all categories for a specialized communications textbook: powerful ideas, insightful author, meticulous exposition, and reasonable price.

I too thought I was a good communicator. Without direction, which this book provides, I probably would have continued to underperform in this critical area.

An example: my boss is an "away-from", risk-averse individual. Until I learned to couch my words in a similar vein, he often misinterpreted and became angry with me. Now, I am happy to say we are talking more freely, with greater understanding, than ever.

The categories of influence outlined here are insightful and pratical. Some are obvious, but many hours of thoughtful observation on who is saying what, and how, could pass before one might catalog these nuggets in their entirety.

Thank goodness I discovered this fine resource. It already has repaid me in dividends of good will and understanding greater than the modest cover price.

Thankyou Rose!

Rather than discuss the technical aspects of this book...

Through using the LAB Profile, I've become a better salesperson, businessman, friend, and father.

I thought I was a good communicator and influencer before reading this; this book saved me years of learning by my own experiences.

Carl Jung and Anthony Robbins are unlikely bed-fellows. What brings them together is an understanding of your reaction to my assertion. Jung's major work was in the development of his theory of psychological type -- using four scales to divide humanity into sixteen groups, seen most frequently now in the increasingly ubiquitous Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. More recently Rodger Bailey used his experience in Linguistics and in personnel work to construct a 14 scale model of scales useful in the world of organisations which he called the Language and Behaviour (LAB) profile.

Shelle Rose Charvet trained in the LAB Profile with Rodger and has gone on to us it to build her own business as a trainer and consultant. Her book is written out of her experience in running her two-day LAB Profile work-shop, the style is light and friendly, rich in examples and clear in teaching. I enjoyed the material immensely, both from its clear presentation and its practical utility. If you want to know how to use language to influence people, or to avoid other people manipulating you then you really have to choose to buy and then read her book. I especially like Shelle's speech patterns -- "talking with both sides of the mouth" which are designed to address the breadth of a scale in a single sentence, for instance to communicate to both "towards" and "away from" people with equal effectiveness.

I am a person with an extensive NLP background and I found Ms. Charvet's book to be excellent.

Not "perfect" perhaps but overall well written, lots of down to earth examples, and little in the way of jargon that has to be mastered. Whether you are looking to extricate yourself from problematic relationships, or become a masterful communicator, I would highly recommend this book. I think the book can have a lot of benefit both personally and professionally.

Beyond the book, I happened to see Ms. Charvet give a keynote speech recently, and as far as I could tell she had most if not the entire audience captivated.

I give the book a five star rating because it has dramatically changed the conversations I am having with prospective clients. I find that many more people are saying "Yes" to my proposals. The basics of my proposals are the same as they have been for quite a while. What is different is how I format the proposals differently for different people.

The best way to know if this book is for you might be twofold.
1. If you read the reviews they are largely very positive, so you can perhaps trust the overall opinion of others.
2. Have a read and see for yourself.

I doubt that you will be unhappy, and if you are really uncertain you can buy one of the second copies at a cheaper price.

So much in the NLP universe is dense or 'magical'. Here is a practical and usable book that anyone can understand, and that everyone can benefit from on one or more levels. Shelle has a heart and a brain, and to top it all off, she can write well. Whether you've been introduced to NLP through a seminar, Tony Robbins, The Game, or some other way, this book is a good addition to the library. But don't let it gather dust. Read it, learn it, live it.

Charvet's concept warrants more than just a read-through of her book. I intend to study the material until I get the hang of her very sound principles. Hopefully in subsequent printings, this worthy book will receive the attention of a good editor (to catch some typos and awkward phrasing), and the trained eye of a seasoned typographer (to visually present the text and charts in an easier-to-grasp format). It deserves the best presentation.

I've been doing a lot of in depth homework in this field over the past few months and this book is another one that is useful to understand. If you read it in isolation and not part of studying nlp or general influence and persuasion skills, then true you may find it difficult to work out how to apply it. Some folks look to books for complete magical formulas and 100% guaranteed results. Sorry folks, but humans don't work that way. The reality is that Shelle Charvet offers us her work as a series of highly useful generalisations, that can apply some of the time to enough people to be useful. They are context sensitive most of the time, and in her presentation of the profiles, she illustrates the extremes of each profile. This might give quite a pigeon holed view of each type of metaprogram if you look at folks, and analyse them in an either/or fashion. They are not meant to be used this way (the LAB profiles).


With your skills of comminication, rapport and observation, you would gather enough information to get a feel for any predominate metaprograms in use by the person in front of you. These probably won't be glaring extremes much of the time either. Having identified in context some of these tendencies, you allow your language to alter to suit that person's way of processing and dealing with the context you are in. You weave this knowledge into your own current understandings and decide actively where they may fit in along with your own intuition and wisdom.

Its possible to extract more specific seeming information for the purposes of working out job roles, and appropriate adverts. Again realising this is targetting tendencies not absolutes. Sometimes certain kinds of skeptic are looking for some form of absolute and absolute proof! I heard recently in several places that science never "proves" anything. It has theories and models that work well, most of the time, and often get updated over time or occasionally thrown out completely and rebuilt. That is just a reminder that some kind of absolute proof is not required to make this a valuable tool either! Remember that if you are a reviewer that shredded this book, as I think you missed the point :-).