Customer Reviews

Working With Difficult People

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I bought this book when it first came out over a decade ago. It's a classic (or should be). It covers the behavior in groups (e.g. "Pushy/Presumtious People", "Exploitive People") and further divides each group into how it is manifested in Bosses, Peers, and Suborbdinates. The author is very perceptive in describing the patterns, what insecurities drive people to behave that way, and methods for dealing with them. The advice is very practical and appropriate to the case. Sometimes it's on the order of "give them some attention to get a return", sometimes it's "define your boundaries" and sometimes it's "this is toxic, walk away."

Try reading "Winning with Difficult people" instead of this book. This book did tell me about certain types of people and how to deal with them, but it didn't go into deal about why they are the way they are to others.

Solomon (not King Solomon, but does have some of his wisdom) has written a good book for dealing with workers of three different classes: bosses, colleagues, and subordinates. The book is also broken down into 10 major areas in dealing with all three types:

1. Hostile/Angry.
2. Pushy/Presumptuous.
3. Deceitful/Underhanded.
4. Shrewd/Manipulative.
5. Rude/Abusive.
6. Egotistical/Self-Centered.
7. Proscrastinating/Vacillating.
8. Rigid/Obstinate.
9. Tight-Lipped/Taciturn.
10. Complaining/Critical.

Each section also contains:

1. A brief definition of the person and the personality characteristics typically displayed.
2. Hypothetically what you may be thinking of that person.
3. What the person hypothetically may be thinking about you and the work place.
4. A strategy for dealing with that person.
5. Tactical talk - suggested actual words you may use.
6. Closing tips on what else you can do.

I enjoyed the narrative's smooth flow and practical advice. However, I sometimes believe the author treated the situation and offender with kid gloves. In today's work environment, bosses, colleagues, and subordinates have to be decisive and firm with problem employess who threaten to disrupt a work environment that is already tense due to the nature of work and long hours put in by many employees. Sometimes you just have to either let people go or put them in a situation where they will have to adjust their behavior to get along!

I would recommend the book as a primer, not the last word on workplace relations. There are other ones out there (John Maxwell, Max Dupree, Larry Burkett, etc.) who may give more substantative advice on dealing with people in the work place. Still a good read.

I have recommend this book often over the years. Unlike other similar titled books, Solomon takes the approach of dealing with varyious personality types from different perspectives - form a subordinate, peer, or boss POV. Same issue - but if not managed from the proper perspective can be lethal and blow up. (Try treating your biligerent boss like you would a biligerent subordinate and see what happens!) Highly recommended for new managers.

What is it about the human race? To paraphrase Los Angeles Dodgers manager Tommy LaSorda, 80% of people don't want to hear about your problems, and the other 20% are happy you're having trouble. Those 20%, that is the backstabbers, saboteurs, sadists, know-it-alls, insulters and hotheads, are the subject of Muriel Solomon's street-smart book. In it, the self-dubbed "strategic talking" expert categorizes many types of difficult people you might encounter at work. To make the book very applicable, she introduces each personality, explains why such individuals think as they do, how you are likely to react to their behavior, and what strategies you can use to protect yourself. Unless you work alone, getAbstract expects that you, like most team players, probably have your hands full dealing with a complete chorus of "false hounds" and "rascally knaves." This book can help you minimize their damage. Since you can't always get away from such people, you might as well learn how to put them in their place diplomatically. Or, if that doesn't work, you can quote Shakespeare: "I do desire we may be better strangers." Forsooth.

There is some useful information in the book. The book is divided into many different situations and types of people and this is useful. However many sections are very shallow and it seems that the sections that deal with the most difficult people tend to blame it on the recipient rather than the perpetrator. Also, there is a tendency to helplessness in the face of the worst offenders, i.e. there is nothing you can do. In reality this is seldom the case. But the desired actions may be dramatic and have far reaching consequences. It seems the book is written so as to offend none when some should be offended.

Well, Well, I find this book 'terrific' to say the least.
The arrangement of text(especially 'capitals') is simply wonderful. I learnt more and educated myself in the process. It was more like reading a novel. I would highly recommend you to read this book, but keep it away from the sight of 'Co-workers/Boss(for your own good!). I wish I could have a video of this book, I mean it would definitely help. Words once uttered, cannot be taken back, so it is better to polish it so that it conveys the intended meaning and gets the appropriate results when dealing with not only 'Difficult people' but everybody.
After some time, you will enjoy working with 'Difficult people', because they are usually the ones who have talents that have been overlooked. Take heart.

Found the book difficult to follow and read. The book reads more like a dictionary.