Customer Reviews

Working with Relationship Triangles: One-Two-Three of Psychotherapy, The

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This is the best theoretical book examining a central concept to many family therapy models, triangles. Thomas Fogarty referred to this book as a triangles reference manual for family therapists. A great professional book for the library.

This book explains the in and outs of "triangling" and "dyadic" relationships and the downfalls that they present. "Triangling" is unhealthy and having or being involved in those types of relationships stagnates the relationships and keep them from evolving. Keeping yourself from becoming involved in one is essential for a healthy existence. The detailed information can become a bit overwhelming at times. I found the best things to do was set it aside for awhile and pick up where I left off for a more comprehensive understanding of it all. Just recently finding out about "triangling" and researching it led me to find this book and read it in detail. I am sharing the following small excerpts from the book that stood out to me.

Page 33

It is natural and desirable that relationships grow and mature over time. As a son or daughter grows up, his or her relationship with parents should go from childlike dependence to an adult relationship. Triangles can retard this development, as in a triangle where a mother is overly close to her child and the father is in the distant position. The relationship between mother and child won't evolve appropriately as the child grows older, and the child may remain infantilized, even as an adult.

Page 209

Often parents blame one child for sibling fights while they let the others off. Thus, we may overlook interlocking triangles among siblings. For example two siblings who are for their mother and against their father in a divorce dispute may put pressure on another sibling to separate from Dad and sign on with Mom. Or, one child in the family may get his or her identity not trying to become someone, but by isolating from his or her siblings and trying to be reactively different from them. The triangle that first leaps out when we see a family, may not be the only significant triangle in the family.

The book goes on to share about examples and ways to stop this from occurring once you are aware of it. The information is invaluable and should be in every home becuase I see so much of this occurring in the world we live in. Well written and precise!

I think this book does a great job at showing people how to use the concepts of triangles in psychotherapy. It breaks down the process in a very understandable way.