Working with the Self-Absorbed: How to Handle Narcissistic Personalities on the Job [Paperback]

Nina Brown (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 1, 2008

Learn to manage the destructive behaviors of narcissists in the workplace and to ensure that your work gets the credit it deserves. Find realistic strategies for ignoring outrageous narcissism. Establish a separate-but-equal working environment with your narcissistic coworker and gain the validation that you need to feel good about the work you do.

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

Narcissists in the workplace take credit for others' work, inflate their own accomplishments, and expect an unlimited supply of favors from their colleagues. Working with or for such a person often means feeling discredited and unrecognized in their shadow. This new book from the author of "Children of the Self-Absorbed" shows readers that they are not helpless in face of a narcissistic coworker and that they needn't consider giving up their rights or their job. Instead, she offers practical methods for managing the narcissist's destructive behaviors and making sure one's own work gets the respect it deserves. Realistic strategies are suggested for changing expectations, responding in a constructive manner, not taking things personally, and deciding when it's best to ignore especially outrageous behavior.

Product Details

• Paperback: 196 pages
• Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; 1 edition (October 1, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1572242922
• ISBN-13: 978-1572242920
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.1 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #766,127 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

40 of 40 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Practical help and sensible advice, September 20, 2002

By 

LDH (OH United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Working with the Self-Absorbed: How to Handle Narcissistic Personalities on the Job (Paperback)

If you think that you're acting in unusual ways and feeling frustrated at work for no discernable reason...you may want to read this book. In it you'll find out what destructive narcissists do in the office environment, and it will convince you you're not imagining the slow drain of energy and increasing discomfort you feel! Brown's detailed descriptions not only of the work-related behaviors of destructive narcissists but also of the feelings these behaviors inspire in others is concrete and helpful. Especially useful is her delineation of the four response stages that you might feel when confronted with a destructive narcissist--she rightly identifies a process of initial elation, when the person is entirely focused on impressing you (I would call this the "honeymoon" period, which comes from the language of domestic violence), to confusion, self-doubt, and then overwhelming frustration. She then offers practical coping strategies that you can enact immediately and that really do work, whether your workplace narcissist is your boss or your colleague.

Just knowing that *you* are not overreacting or imagining things is the best reason for reading this book. This book appeared on the shelf when I most needed it. Although I would have liked to see a chapter dealing with how destructive narcissists can actually enlist the help of others in the workplace in their quest for control, in general I found this book very helpful and enlightening.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Helpful Advice, September 10, 2010

By 

Blue Eyes "music lover" (nyc) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Working with the Self-Absorbed: How to Handle Narcissistic Personalities on the Job (Paperback)

I found this book to be somewhat helpful. It could use a little better organization, but if you stick with it you will have some thoughtful advice as to what to do when you work with a destructive narcissist. I would have liked to have seen more explanation as to what exactly is a destructive narcissist, and what causes the condition. Maybe this is explained better in some of Nina Brown's other books, but the coping strategies are very helpful. Recognizing the problems created when you work with someone like this is certainly worth the cost of this book.

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Depressing, September 11, 2010

A Kid's Review

This review is from: Working with the Self-Absorbed: How to Handle Narcissistic Personalities on the Job (Paperback)

I bought a copy of this book because I suspected our new boss was a narcissist and wanted to know how to deal with him. I had to put the highlighter away after a while because everything I read was him. This book got passed around the office and over a year later people still talk about this book and how spot on it described him.

My biggest negative was the depressing solution to working for a self-absorbed boss; quit. When you work with someone this irrational, they believe they are above rules and regulations. Give them enough rope and they'll hang themselves. He tried to turn us against each other, but we would just remind each other "this is what the book said he would do". Less than a year later he alienated himself, was reported to HR several times for inappropriate comments and behavior, got demoted three times and finally quit.