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Working for You Isn't Working for Me: The Ultimate Guide to Managing Your Boss Hardcover – September 24, 2009

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Working for You Isn't Working for Me: The Ultimate Guide to Managing Your Boss + Working With You is Killing Me: Freeing Yourself from Emotional Traps at Work + Mean Girls at Work: How to Stay Professional When Things Get Personal
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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 320 pages
  • Publisher: Portfolio Hardcover (September 24, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1591842751
  • ISBN-13: 978-1591842750
  • Product Dimensions: 6.3 x 1.1 x 9.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (21 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,146,466 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

It's one thing to have a difficult job. It's another thing to have a boss who makes it difficult for you to succeed, begin Crowley and Elster (coauthors of Working with You Is Killing Me) in their second exploration of how to deal with dysfunctional workplace relationships. For anyone who struggles with an inept, unsupportive or even hostile manager, the descriptions of bad boss behavior will likely sound familiar, as will the employee's probable pattern of reaction (e.g., self-doubt, avoidance, sulking, ardently wishing for your boss's demise). Crowley and Elster taxonomize offenders into 20 types (The Chronic Critic, Liar, Liar, The Unconscious Discriminator) and offer practical advice for finding productive ways of coping with each personality through detecting, detaching, depersonalizing and dealing. Because the tactics are fairly similar, the work when read as a whole becomes repetitive; readers are advised to seek out his or her own situation and use the chapter as a self-help exercise rather than wading through advice for every type of bad boss. (Oct.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

About the Author

Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster are the coauthors of the New York Times bestseller Working for You Is Killing Me and the founders of K Squared Enterprises. Both are speakers and consultants on workplace relationships, and live in New York City. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Customer Reviews

Highly recommend if you are dealing with someone toxic at work.
Again, once you understand this process, you can look up the specific behaviors that apply to your boss and learn how you Deal in that specific situation.
Craig Matteson
If you are an idiot this book may mean something but if you have any common sense at all you will get nothing from it.
Steve Matthews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

24 of 27 people found the following review helpful By skippy on October 12, 2009
Format: Hardcover
This book offers one useful concept, which is to identify 20 different types of toxic boss behaviors. In the general trend of many self-help books, they offer clever, catchy categories. In this case, it does help to show how to zero in from a generalized feeling of being persecuted to getting a handle on some specific ways you might be persecuted. HOWEVER: once the authors try to get more clever, they set up such an overcomplicated matrix that's it's almost impossible drudgery to read the whole second half of the book. For 20 different types of bosses, they then define 10 different types of workers, & spend the next 150+ pages plowing through the combinations in several different ways. WAY TOO COMPLICATED! So you, the reader, will wind up skimming the whole rest of the book impatiently to bypass what does not pertain to you, but you will get lost in a maze of headings and subheadings and lots of broken up text. Most disappointing, though, too many of their suggestions for "dealing" come down to silly diversions -- like, do "photo therapy" (put up pictures in your cubicle to remind yourself there's more in your life than a boss?),get exercise, have hobbies, turn to other people for validation (your boss will love that), do yoga, suck it up, or maybe give up and look for a new job. Wow! This book claims to be "the ultimate guide to managing your boss." It's not. What it really seems to be is an ultimate guide to distracting yourself.
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Format: Hardcover
We have all had times when our jobs were great. We had work we enjoyed doing each day and a boss that supported us and co-workers who were talented and cooperative. Then things changed and we find ourselves reporting to a boss who makes facing unemployment and foreclosure seem like less a better choice than coming to work to face a buzz saw each morning. Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster provide you with a manual to help you diagnose the problems you are having with your boss and what to do about it. They believe you can manage you boss and turn a bad situation around so you can enjoy your job again.

You don't read this book front to back, although you could. The idea is to use their four step process and find the relevant portions of the book within each step.

Section 1 helps you Detect the boss behavior that is causing you pain. They list 20 behaviors that just about cover anything you could be facing each day. Once you understand clearly what is creating the pain you are ready to find a way to make it stop.

Section 2 shows you how to Detach from the situation with your boss. By detaching the reality of your job and your boss's behavior you can depersonalize it. The authors also show you things you can do at work and after work to restore your spirit as you face these draining situations. You then look up the behavior(s) you identified during the Detect stage to read specific approaches for Detaching from the situation.

Section 3 helps you Depersonalize these awful situations when you find yourself in the middle of the storm. You have to do this work ahead of time so you can understand the baggage your boss is carrying around that contributes to their destructive behavior.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By Sara on April 10, 2011
Format: Hardcover
Despite having 15 years working experience and an MBA under my belt, I struggled for years with difficult bosses. I would be in a job for 6 to 12 months, get sick of my boss and jump ship. I managed to strike lucky with one or two enlightened bosses, but by far the most of them were terrible.
I'm currently in a job that I love, working with people who are fantastic, but my boss sucks. I really don't want to leave my job, so what should I do? I read this book and it has changed my entire work experience. I've found that she perfectly fits one of the 20 boss types described in the book. And I perfectly fit one of the 20 employee types described. The book has given me a whole list of things to keep in mind when I get frustrated and angry with my boss. Now I can conjure up the mantra in my mind, and wow... I can let it go. I don't LIKE what she does, and I still think she could do a much better job, but I'm no longer angry and sullen about her dumb decisions. In fact, it's kinda entertaining watching to see if she'll keep repeating her predictable behaviours without even realising.
I've spent years reading books on people management, and very few have come this close to giving practical, easy to follow advice on how to deal with a particular situation. I've referred to this book numerous times myself and constantly recommend it to friends and colleagues.
If you can't stand your boss, but you want some practical tools for dealing with the situation at hand, then this is the book for you. And if the authors describe a manager who is dangerous to your health and you should find another job - it will tell you to do just that.
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17 of 20 people found the following review helpful By J. Sandlar on October 13, 2009
Format: Hardcover
I bought the book because I am a boss and focused on how to make sure that my staff is happy working for me. When I read the chapter on 20 boss behaviors that drive us crazy --- I realized that I do most (possibly all) of them!

It is so helpful to read this from both the boss and employee perspective. Makes sense to use it as a reference ---- (what would xxxx do?)

When framed this way, I think the book will be very very valuable. Find myself flipping through when I need a break, and I will definitely keep it on my desk as a reminder.
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