Working for You Isn't Working for Me: The Ultimate Guide to Managing Your Boss [Hardcover]

Katherine Crowley (Author), Kathi Elster (Author)

Book Description

Release date: September 24, 2009

The guide for anyone who deals with difficult authority figures at work.

Sooner or later, we all have to work for someone we can't stand-whether it's an inept supervisor, an undermining department head, or an overly demanding client. When that happens, some people quit, some suffer in silence, and others cope by sulking, obsessing, or retaliating.

But you can take charge of this crucial workplace relationship. In this book, Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster, authors of the bestseller Working for You Is Killing Me, offer concrete examples of bad boss scenarios and a proven four-step program for improving each situation:

•Detect - Identify how this person drives you crazy.

•Detach - Discover concrete actions you can take to reclaim your power.

•Depersonalize - Learn how to take a boss's actions less personally.

•Deal - Devise a plan to get what you need and move your career forward.

--This text refers to the Paperback edition.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

It's one thing to have a difficult job. It's another thing to have a boss who makes it difficult for you to succeed, begin Crowley and Elster (coauthors of Working with You Is Killing Me) in their second exploration of how to deal with dysfunctional workplace relationships. For anyone who struggles with an inept, unsupportive or even hostile manager, the descriptions of bad boss behavior will likely sound familiar, as will the employee's probable pattern of reaction (e.g., self-doubt, avoidance, sulking, ardently wishing for your boss's demise). Crowley and Elster taxonomize offenders into 20 types (The Chronic Critic, Liar, Liar, The Unconscious Discriminator) and offer practical advice for finding productive ways of coping with each personality through detecting, detaching, depersonalizing and dealing. Because the tactics are fairly similar, the work when read as a whole becomes repetitive; readers are advised to seek out his or her own situation and use the chapter as a self-help exercise rather than wading through advice for every type of bad boss. (Oct.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

About the Author

Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster are the coauthors of the New York Times bestseller Working for You Is Killing Me and the founders of K Squared Enterprises. Both are speakers and consultants on workplace relationships, and live in New York City. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 320 pages
• Publisher: Portfolio Hardcover (September 24, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1591842751
• ISBN-13: 978-1591842750
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6 x 1.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (16 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #584,445 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

20 of 23 people found the following review helpful

2.0 out of 5 stars way too complicated October 12, 2009

By skippy

Format:Hardcover

This book offers one useful concept, which is to identify 20 different types of toxic boss behaviors. In the general trend of many self-help books, they offer clever, catchy categories. In this case, it does help to show how to zero in from a generalized feeling of being persecuted to getting a handle on some specific ways you might be persecuted. HOWEVER: once the authors try to get more clever, they set up such an overcomplicated matrix that's it's almost impossible drudgery to read the whole second half of the book. For 20 different types of bosses, they then define 10 different types of workers, & spend the next 150+ pages plowing through the combinations in several different ways. WAY TOO COMPLICATED! So you, the reader, will wind up skimming the whole rest of the book impatiently to bypass what does not pertain to you, but you will get lost in a maze of headings and subheadings and lots of broken up text. Most disappointing, though, too many of their suggestions for "dealing" come down to silly diversions -- like, do "photo therapy" (put up pictures in your cubicle to remind yourself there's more in your life than a boss?),get exercise, have hobbies, turn to other people for validation (your boss will love that), do yoga, suck it up, or maybe give up and look for a new job. Wow! This book claims to be "the ultimate guide to managing your boss." It's not. What it really seems to be is an ultimate guide to distracting yourself.

12 of 14 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Forced me to look deeper October 13, 2009

By J. Sandlar

Format:Hardcover

I bought the book because I am a boss and focused on how to make sure that my staff is happy working for me. When I read the chapter on 20 boss behaviors that drive us crazy --- I realized that I do most (possibly all) of them!

It is so helpful to read this from both the boss and employee perspective. Makes sense to use it as a reference ---- (what would xxxx do?)

When framed this way, I think the book will be very very valuable. Find myself flipping through when I need a break, and I will definitely keep it on my desk as a reminder.

11 of 13 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A handbook for taking back your job happiness no matter what your boss does. March 11, 2010

By Craig Matteson HALL OF FAMETOP 500 REVIEWER

Format:Hardcover

We have all had times when our jobs were great. We had work we enjoyed doing each day and a boss that supported us and co-workers who were talented and cooperative. Then things changed and we find ourselves reporting to a boss who makes facing unemployment and foreclosure seem like less a better choice than coming to work to face a buzz saw each morning. Katherine Crowley and Kathi Elster provide you with a manual to help you diagnose the problems you are having with your boss and what to do about it. They believe you can manage you boss and turn a bad situation around so you can enjoy your job again.

You don't read this book front to back, although you could. The idea is to use their four step process and find the relevant portions of the book within each step.

Section 1 helps you Detect the boss behavior that is causing you pain. They list 20 behaviors that just about cover anything you could be facing each day. Once you understand clearly what is creating the pain you are ready to find a way to make it stop.

Section 2 shows you how to Detach from the situation with your boss. By detaching the reality of your job and your boss's behavior you can depersonalize it. The authors also show you things you can do at work and after work to restore your spirit as you face these draining situations. You then look up the behavior(s) you identified during the Detect stage to read specific approaches for Detaching from the situation.

Section 3 helps you Depersonalize these awful situations when you find yourself in the middle of the storm. You have to do this work ahead of time so you can understand the baggage your boss is carrying around that contributes to their destructive behavior. Again, you then look up the specific boss behaviors that apply to your boss.

Section 4 is about creating a new Deal for yourself. You adjust the expectations you have for your job, address the needs you have that are not being filled and alleviating the anxieties having these unmet needs create in you. Your goal is to find a way to continue to do a great job and keep your career on track and moving forward. Again, once you understand this process, you can look up the specific behaviors that apply to your boss and learn how you Deal in that specific situation.

This is a very useful book and can help millions of us manage our workdays more constructively and improve our situations at work.

Oh, and if you are a manager, you will want to read this book not only to identify your boss's behaviors but to help you see your own management style more clearly. We all like to believe we are perfect and wonderful supervisors, but we aren't. Why not think about how to change yourself to make work life happier and more productive for those you mange?

Reviewed by Craig Matteson, Ann Arbor, MI