Customer Reviews

Working on Yourself Doesn't Work: The 3 Simple Ideas That Will Instantaneously Transform Your Life

5 star:		(127)
4 star:		(10)
3 star:		(11)
2 star:		(12)
1 star:		(22)

 

 

I originally bought this book because the title intrigued me. You see, after reading many, many self help books and going to seminars by Tony Robbins, Zig Ziglar, Brian Tracy and doing several "self awareness" workshops over the years, I became jaded. Why, after reading and trying so hard, did things not work for me? Why do I go right back to frustration and dissatisfaction?

I understood the reasons why after reading the Kane's book. I understood that transformation and change and "self improvement" doesn't have to be a struggle: that there is no way I can live the life I want to live by "working on it."

There are no techniques in this book. No 5 steps to success. No formulas. No, "we've observed and studied happy/successful people for years and this is what they have in common." In place of that, they urge us to be where we are at. Stop judging and blaming ourselves and others (especially our parents) for how we "turned out.". By just being aware of how we are in any given moment, and not judging that experience, we can transform. That is their message. Seems simplistic, doesn't it? It is far from it.

It is hard for many of us to understand that non-judgemental awareness of how we are being in the world is the key. It is difficult to accept that fighting where we are at and how we are feeling keeps us in that space of pain and anger.

This is not a rehashing of old ideas presented with new words in new ways. This was, for me, totally different than anything I had been exposed to. This is an easy book to read. it is very clearly written. I can't recommend it highly enough.

I am a professional female that has felt out of place since I was 13. I have seen therapists and searched for something to fix myself my whole life. I have read many self help books and done The Landmark Forum. In 1998 I landed in an AA room and was taught the 12 Steps of recovery. I read the BIG BOOK and thought the stories were exaggerated since I couldn't relate to them. I stopped drinking and took the suggested steps; taking a "fearless moral inventory" of myself by identifying my so called defects of character. As I grew in recovery, I was to take a daily inventory of myself which constantly reinforced that there was always something wrong with me that needed fixing. I now have 7 years of uninterrupted sobriety and recently I had the pleasure of reading the book "Working on Yourself Doesn't Work" and WOW!!! Did I get it...

See in AA we strive to live a day at a time but to be able to live a moment at a time was not something I had ever considered (I mean who can live in the moment there is so much to plan for?). It wasn't by doing the 12 steps that I learned I was living my life based on exaggerated truths made up as a child. These ideas ranged from "don't let anyone ever tell you what to do "to" don't ever depend on any man". These ideas never supported me in my life. They in fact have hindered every relationship I ever had whereby I never married or had children.
Now that I am aware of those ideas thru reading this book, I have never looked back or thought about them again. I have quit trying to work on myself. I have accepted my life and everything about it.

My life is so easy today. I have actually been able to save a relationship that I unconsciously have been sabotaging for the last 3 years. I saw clearly why I was afraid of success. Since I now have the insights, I choose not to go back to the past and judge myself or others for anything that happened. I also choose not to spend time in a place that doesn't exist yet. I can just concentrate on the fabulous moment and how it feels to be here right now. Talk about freedom from the bondage of self. My shackles have been taken off permanently. Thank you to Ariel and Shya for sharing their incredible experiences with the world and most importantly for the ease in which they do it.

This is a book that both enlightened and touched me on many levels. We live in a culture that is either striving towards the future, what is the next goal I need to achieve, or obsessed with the past, what wrongs have been done to me by my family, my culture, my religion, etc. The idea being that either achieving goals, or figuring out why I do the things I do will bring me happiness and self-satisfaction. I've personally tried both approaches and found them lacking. I have set goals and accomplished them. I read books and took seminars to "figure out" why I was the way I was. Neither of these approaches produced any lasting sense of accomplishment. At best all I got was a brief respite from a sense of despair.

The Kanes have a different approach, awareness, being in the moment, is the key. The Kanes define awareness as a non-judgemental seeing of what is. This was a radically different way of looking at things and the effects on my life have been profound. I find that I have become vastly more effective with less effort. My relationships have never been so rewarding and my work is also greatly improved. I've bought copies of this book for my family and many of my friends. I recommended it to them, and I recommend it to you.

Working on yourself doesn't work - what a provocative title! Haven't we all tried for most of our lives to make things better, to improve ourselves, to grow? And there comes this odd proposition: Forget about working on yourself! I was confused and intrigued. Then I got really excited, as I started grasping the concept and its impact. I can stop trying to get somewhere. I can stop trying to become somebody else, a better version of me. I can relax, I finally can be myself.

The Kanes' book opened the door to a new possibility for me, a new way of dealing with myself and others. Living in the moment is their key proposal, and throughout the book, different aspects and examples of living in the moment are given.

It sounded odd and overly simplistic at first, but then I tried it and the magic began... It's not a book to be read and then pondered over, it is a book to be lived. When I started exploring how I dealt with past and future, looked at my patterns and ideas, an exciting journey of discovery, discovery of myself began. I found out that I don't need improvement. I found out that my friends, my husband, did not need improvement either. I rediscovered how to have fun and how to be fully engaged in what I was doing, rather than worrying about the past or planning for the future. And things have gotten easier - at work, at home. The greatest news is ... it doesn't seem to end. There is no limit to having a great life and it keeps getting better!

Thank you Ariel and Shya Kane for a wonderful book that has shown me a simple yet so powerful new approach to my life.

I saw this book on my girlfriend's bookshelf when we first began dating. I was immediately struck by the title, "Working On Yourself Doesn't Work". I had not read very many self-help books, but I thought to myself, "What a concept!" I had always thought that life was about the constant drive to make myself a better person, so I was quite adept at "doing" and accomplishing, but I had very little experience with "being". When I started reading the book, I was excited that it was so simple and easy to read. I have been very good at figuring things out with my mind, but this book seemed to be about something beyond what my intellect could grasp onto. I noticed that every time I picked it up that my body would relax, and my mind would slow down.
What Ariel and Shya Kane discuss is an actual, attainable, state of well being. And it can happen now! I love the idea that it can be instantaneous. Why not? I've spent my life up until now trying to make well being happen over time, and it hasn't really worked, so why not have it happen now! I never even considered that a possibility. It was so far outside the realm of what I knew. The key is getting into the moment, the Kane's say. Throughout the book they give different access ways into the moment, and three simple but profound principles to having a magical life. After reading the book the first time, I went back and read it again, and found it to be a completely different book. Was it? Or was I different after having read it? This book has been an amazing gift to me. I have been astonished at my productivity at home and with my work, and how much easier my relationships have become with loved ones and colleagues. But most important is the ease with which I've related to myself. I can be quite hard on myself at times, and reading this book gives me a way out of my mind and into my life. Whenever I read it (and I read it quite often) I get in touch with me. That is pure magic. And I didn't believe magic was possible...until now!

This book not only puts me at ease, but also makes my experience
of life far more three-dimensional.
As a passionate artist and art consultant, I've had many
inspiring, colorful, and alive experiences. I've been
overwhelmed by the magnificence of nature, and the way our bodies look
and feel. I've felt deep love and
connectedness, but without support, these experiences remain scattered.
I used to think I had to meditate to be a part of this profound
level of meaningfulness with consistency.
The Kane's books are an incredibly valuable support in turning this
into a lifestyle.
A must-read! If you want a clear, experiential demonstration of
Transformation, or Enlightenment, this book is unparalleled.

This is a very unique book - I couldn't stop reading! I never before was able to find such substantial advice in my search for wellbeing, happiness, and love. The book presents 3 simple principles that can transform your life and bring you to the present moment.

Since reading this humorous as well as profound book, I am experiencing
myself in a very gentle and fun way and life has become a journey with unlimited possibilities.

I love this book, inspiring and beautiful, it's also easy and practical to use in my day to day life. Before I read this book and started working with the Kanes I spend most of my time worrying about the future, thinking about how I did things wrong and trying to hold things together. Working on Yourself Doesn't Work showed me a complete new possibility. With the help of the Kanes' three simple ideas, their amazing clarity, humor and empathy the loud chatter in my head calmed down. Worries, fear and guilt dissolved and life became peaceful and fulfilling.
I never thought it would be an alternitve, but a magical life truly is a possibility, it lives in the moment, beautiful and simple.
If you're looking for more magic in your life or simply feel there must be more...read this book!

This is an incredible book! A must read! With every page I read, I feel more relaxed and energized. The Kane's three principals are so easy and fun and it makes life just flow. I feel so empowered every time I read this book,
(I must have read it at least three times now, and that's a record for me!) I always discover something within the pages that I've never seen before. I highly recommend this book to you. And to you. And yes, even to you. I
really think you'll love it.

"Working On Yourself Doesn't Work" is one of those rare books that exudes honesty and simplicity. Ariel and Shya Kane have found a brilliantly easy approach to life that brought a smile to my face as I read. It seems that we all have the ability to live in the moment and to truly listen to what people (and ourselves) are saying, but this book reminded me of how important these things really are. I found that things I've known all along but didn't realize came to the surface while I read this book and it is such a relief to have such a well-written and clear book validate the way life really should be for us all. I especially liked the fact that there are examples and illustrations in this book to really allow true understanding. After reading some of the other reviews of this book, I also realize how easy it is to miss the point: instantaneous transformation does not require course manuals and extensively deep study - it simply requires being present. This is something I really got thanks to the Kanes' book. Like many others, I have read many books and often felt that I couldn't or wouldn't follow all the steps and I wasn't interested in exercises or following some long road where I would eventually see minor changes in my life. The brilliance of this work is that not only is it very apparent that the authors have found something special in their lives, but they provide a fun, light and powerful road map on how to get HERE (not how to get "there") - a place of true awareness in our lives. You will directly experience how "instantaneous" their ideas truly are by how good you feel as you read it and re-read it because each time it's new and alive.