Customer Reviews

The Worst Day of My Life, So Far

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M. A. Harper has written a most unusual gem of a novel, one which treats the brutally depressing theme of caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's with grace, insight and humor. Not only does "The Worst Day of My Life, So Far" feature a completely believable protagonist; the novel compels the engaged reader to consider its corollary themes of failed marriage, frustrated parenting, ethical decision-making and existential despair. Harper pulls no punches in her narrative, recounted by the ironically anguished/bemused/furious voice of lonely, bewildered and angry Jeanne Buchanan Roth.

The author deliberately introduces a high level of discomfort in her work and refuses to back down from requiring her audience to confront the multiple nightmares of caring for a parent whose ability to function is permanently reduced by mental deterioration. Jeanne's deep ambivalence, emotional isolation and individual lack of fulfillment provoke the reader's sympathy. Jeanne's character, tormented by self-doubt and misgivings as to her decisions, maintains its dynamism through her internal monologues and compels our emotional linkage with her by virtue of her onerous circumstances.

Jeanne Roth can't have a life any worse than the one she is living. The child of a glamorous, distant mother who literally devotes her life to enshrining her annointed husband, C. Ray, Jeanne spends her youth living in the shadow of an idealized marriage. Unloved and unsure of herself, Jeanne never develops an internal strength necessary for mature adult life. Riddled with questions of her own worth, she vaults into an ill-considered marriage which, not surprisingly, flounders and fails. Her mother's certainties about wifely devotion and motherhood stand as symbolic rebukes and repudiations of Jeanne's attempts at family life. Chilled by her own coldness, Jeanne cannot connect with her husband or her son. Never confident about her appearance (a worry encourged by her mother's incessant belittling of Jeanne) and adrift in a life that yearns to escape her suffocating Louisiana roots, Jeanne is reluctantly convinced to return home to care for her mother, Velma, in order to honor her father's last wishes.

"Worst Day" chronicles Jeanne's homecoming and her seemingly-endless obligations to the deteriorating Velma. "I've never had much of a life, and that's pretty much my own fault. I didn't know how to make things work [with my husband]. I've never known how to really connect [with my son]. I don't know exactly just what I have to show for my life. And now, it's over. Dead and buried in Auletta, Louisiana, Official Rectum of The Western World." Yet, there is not a drop of self-pity or self-absorbtion in this gutty novel. Instead, M. A. Harper elects to require the reader to confront every mixed message or panic over a botched decsion we may have experienced ourselves. This invitation to introspection bnds us in an alliance with Jeanne and her turmoil over her life. By so doing, her fears and ambivalences become our own.

What a ferocious book, what a scathing wit this writer has! Harper dares to speak the unspoken (and frequently funny) thoughts that many care givers have, but are hesitant to share with those of us who might not understand. Chronically sleep-deprived, often suspected by other family members of trying to loot the Alzheimer's patient's bank account (or worse), these unsung heroes or heroines labor in the most thankless of jobs, under the most demoralizing of circumstances. Who can blame them if their worldview is less than rosy? What might have become some drearily maudlin "movie of the week" tale in less sure hands instead is a bracing slap of cold water into the faces of those of us who live ordinary lives and don't have the good sense to be thankful for them. Mark Twain would've loved this woman and loved her book. He, too, derived his wild humor from the darkest of personal circumstances. Just as you don't have to be a riverboat pilot to enjoy his most famous works, neither do you have to know anyone with Alzheimer's disease to laugh at loud at this furious but funny novel.

I read this book because I was told it was humorous. As a professional Geriatric Care Manager, I did not find it funny in the traditional sense, but rather one of the most important books about Alzheimer's disease I have ever found. I will recommend this book to all of my "Dutiful Daughters" and an occassional son who are living this. Although it is very hard to read if you are in the midst of fulfilling a caregiver role, I think the value is immense. Congratulations to M.A.Harper for telling such a meaningful story..............it needs to be read by many.

You have to be a wide reader. You must daily mingle with human beings, perfect, and not so perfect. You need wisdom and forgiveness for people around you who drive you crazy, perhaps elderly relative or teenaged children or spouses. You need honesty in regard to your own private feelings. Above all, you have to have a keen sense of humor and one that is not limited to only what is deemed conventionally funny. I appreciate this book very much and congratulate its honest author for having the courage to write it for those of us who "get it."

I read this book at the beach, it belonged to someone we were staying with. Based on the cover I wondered if I would be interested, but the first page pulled me in. Despite the weight of the topics it deasl with -- Alzhemier's, coping with self image and self worth -- it is a funny book. I laughed out loud several times; Harper is really funny. This would be a great movie. While I have no experience with Alzheimer's, I have cared for a close friend with HIV/AIDS and this book rings true in terms of the heartfelt, and often politically incorrect, questions we ask ourselves when caring with someone with a terminal illness. This is perfect for anyone who has ever been in a caregiving situation. Funny.

As a person who has experienced Alzheimer's firsthand, I can say that Harper really captures what it is like to lose a family member while their physical presence still exists. The main character is not your average normal person nor is her realtionship with her mother typical. I think that gives the story more edge and readability. The Buchanan marriage is believable for its time as are the characters. The story carries quickly and seamlessly. Our heroine isn't the beautiful, perfect person, but a flawed and honest character. Great writing, great read.

Jeanne Roth, a divorced, adrift, 40-something, leaves her comfortable life in New York City and returns to Auletta, Georgia to care for her Alzheimer's afflicted mother, Velma. Either Harper endured a similar experience herself, or she is an extremely gifted fiction writer (I guess both are possible, actually), because the struggle between mother and daughter is so real. The feelings Jeanne expresses are so intense. This is a train of thought novel, almost like Jeanne's private journal. It deals with being middle-aged and alone, family relationships-particularly Jeanne's relationships with her son, Rad, and her ex-husband, Larry-and learning to come to terms with the ravages of Alzheimer's. This was a really instructive read, for me, as my grandmother had Alzheimer's, and it helped me better understand what my own mother must have dealt with. But more than that, it was a truly poignant, often funny and memorable mother/daughter tale.

I'm not sure if it was the author's writing style or the book itself, but I found this book hard to follow. The author's writing style was choppy and her sentences just didn't seem to flow. I was constantly reading and re-reading; it was as if my brain was stuttering. I also thought complete chapters could be skipped because they were both not pertinent and boring. The book would still make total sense without them. I generally enjoy books of this nature, but this one just didn't do it for me.

Let me start off by saying that I have never had the experience of being a caregiver to someone with Alzheimer's. It seems this book has touched chords for many of those who have done so, God bless them. For me, having no experience with the disease, it was simply a cronicle of a selfish woman's journey through the most selfless of life's tasks. I didn't like Jeanne and I didn't feel sorry for her.

She was selfish, bitter and uncaring - and that was before her mother developed Alzheimer's. She carried grudges and misguided opinions long after they were relevant in her life. I appreciated the honesty and certainly the glimpses into the harsh realities of life as a caregiver. However, I cannot recommend this book to anyone UNLESS they are dying to read the hopeless story of a woman who has given up on ever having any sort of a life. She doesn't try to have one. She never did.

I laughed until I cried! And then I would just cry! I could not put it down. I read through most of the night and could not wait to get home from work the next day to finish it. I am taking care of an elderly mother and could relate to the frustration, comedy, and love in this book. I really do not believe that you have to be living the story to appreciate it. It is a good read without the wonderful lessons, but the lessons about family, sacrifice, and Altzheimer's is a plus. I recommend it to anyone, but especially to someone new to caring for an elderly parent. It will help! ENJOY!