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Would Somebody Please Send Me to My Room! A Hilarious Look at Family Life
 
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Would Somebody Please Send Me to My Room! A Hilarious Look at Family Life [Hardcover]

Bob Schwartz (Author), B. K. Taylor (Illustrator)
4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (18 customer reviews)

Price: $22.95 & eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping on orders over $25. Details
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Book Description

May 2005
Bob Schwartz reminds us of the necessity, no matter how harried or confusing things are, to appreciate the humor in the day-to-day nature of family life. Bob gives parents a reason to laugh as he navigates the unexpected twists and turns of parenthood every mom and dad has experienced — such as that feeling of panic when you hear the toilet being flushed and immediately followed by your child’s less than reassuring yell of "Uh-oh!" Or the admonition to your five-year-old of, "No, you can’t have the leftover cotton candy for breakfast, even if you do pour milk over it."

Perhaps parents also need the reassurance that Bob offers. In looking back on his initial years of parenthood, Bob writes, "There was one word that sprang to mind — Naïve. That’s French for ‘Buddy, you don’t even have a clue.’ " If you, like Bob, are entirely clueless at the beginning of parenthood, there’s hope for the future.

For while imparting crucial information to his children like "the shower curtain goes inside the bathtub; don’t put marbles into the garbage disposal, and it’s not a great idea to see how many peas you can stick up your nose," Bob did learn things like how to navigate the challenging world of school carpool pickup without infuriating the power hungry fifth grade Safety Patrol. And you, like Bob, might also make some headway with the linguistic parental challenge of cracking the grunt communication code of teenagers. Bob Schwartz tackles these problems and more. He tells us that the purpose of his essays is to have us embrace the humor of parenthood and the fun of family life. "Let laughter be the fuel for this thrilling, and yes indeed, sometimes pandemonium-producing journey."

All author proceeds from the sale of this book will be donated to the Make-A-Wish Foundation.


Editorial Reviews

Review

"Bob Schwartz is the Erma Bombeck of the 21st century." -- Karen Gardner, Richmond Parents Monthly

"Bob has an uncanny knack of writing about the everyday twists and turns of parenthood. . ." -- Elizabeth Pantley, author

"Bob's essays are simply slap-your-knee funny and laugh out loud. I always enjoy reading his humorous essays!" -- Denise Springer, Metro Family Magazine

"Erma Bombeck meets Dave Barry in these sidesplitting tales about parenting from a dad of three....." -- Kirkus, April 29, 2005

"Every parent can relate to the joy, the conflict, the frustration and the satisfaction he describes in his stories. . . ." -- Klay Lampress, Sydney's Child (Australia)

"He finds humor in those more trying situations and helps his readers remember to laugh" -- Susan Holson, Kids VT, Vermont's Family Newspaper

"I always get a kick out of reading Bob's humorous essays, with his consistently funny take on parenting." -- Farn Dupre, Family Magazine

"Would Somebody Please. . .is so well-written and so very funny, which are reasons enough to read it. . . ." -- Muffy Mead-Ferro, author

Bob Schwartz has written a glorious account about the day to day lessons of parenting. -- Dr. Michele Borba, author of Don’t Give Me

Bob Schwartz has written an insightful and hilarious book. . . -- David Brenner, Comedian

From the Publisher

Bob Schwartz tackles these problems and more. He tells us that the purpose of his essays is to have us embrace the humor of parenthood and the fun of family life. "Let laughter be the fuel for this thrilling, and yes indeed, sometimes pandemonium-producing journey."

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 320 pages
  • Publisher: Glenbridge Publishing, (May 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0944435572
  • ISBN-13: 978-0944435571
  • Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.2 x 1.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.6 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (18 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,206,536 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

18 Reviews
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4 star:
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Average Customer Review
4.9 out of 5 stars (18 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars A truly hilarious read!, July 26, 2005
By 
This review is from: Would Somebody Please Send Me to My Room! A Hilarious Look at Family Life (Hardcover)
My kids are so old they are out of our house and our wallets - at least most of the time.

Parenting, viewed in glorious hindsight, surely was easy - except maybe those teen years.

When kids are little they try your parenting know-how; when they are teens they try your patience and everything else. If you raised them right, and some good luck prevailed, they try and hopefully succeed in becoming good human beings.

Harried parents, chaotic situations, second guessing our decisions are all fodder for humor - and Bob does it well. Sometimes all you can do is laugh (but just don't let the kids see you do it).

As a syndicated columnist of "Parent to Parent," Bob has captured the every-day joys and horrors of parenting, and all the while you read, you are smiling and laughing out loud. I know I did. What a hoot!

If you are in the thick of raising kids, give yourself a gift. If you are grandparents, you know your own kids need this book - because you raised them and remember all their tricks, trials and tribulations. It is only justice they suffer as you did ... and laugh about it.


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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Too bad they can't bottle this: the best medicine for parents!, June 22, 2005
By 
T. LAMPRON (St. Clair Shores, MI) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Would Somebody Please Send Me to My Room! A Hilarious Look at Family Life (Hardcover)
The days I have the luxury of actually sending myself to my room, I like to take Bob's book and simply toss the book upon my my bed. Whatever pages the book opens to, whatever paragraph I start out reading, I get a laugh--every time, no exceptions. Sometimes it's a snicker, sometimes a hearty chuckle, and sometimes, a great, big belly-laugh!

Oftentimes while reading this book, I'd wonder about what it must be like to live inside Bob's head, with his incredibly zany way of looking at things! Then I'd think, better stress management for Bob to live in MY head. Reality: Right now the best thing going is reading Bob's work and laughing through it all--page by page, paragraph by paragraph.

I absolutely love this book.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Don't put marbles down the garbage disposal, January 31, 2006
This review is from: Would Somebody Please Send Me to My Room! A Hilarious Look at Family Life (Hardcover)
"Don't put marbles down the garbage disposal" and "the shower curtain goes INSIDE the tub" are just two pieces of advice author Bob Schwartz has to teach his kids. If this resonates with you (you, there, fishing the peanut butter and marshmallow fluff sandwich out of the VCR) then this book is for you. The book is a combination humor and parental guidance, mainly reminding parents that children are, well, children. They aren't perfect, they don't reason well and well, *$%@ happens.

Bob's writing is like listening to a friend talk. His family has the same wacky traditions you find in any family-such as "Trombone Standard Time" (an incredibly accelerated time warp characterized by a half an hour of trombone practice that actually takes up only seconds in Standard Time.)

My favorite section is about how the two families (his and his wife's) celebrate Thanksgiving differently. Bob's family serves traditional foods, nothing more exciting than green peas on a plate. When, relates Schwartz, diced carrots were added one holiday to the peas, a family meeting had to be hurriedly arranged to vote on this new and strange addition. By contrast, his wife's family celebrates the holiday with ear-splitting karaoke, wild jello salads, jalapeno quiche and an uncle's rendition of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" (one can only imagine this scene in one's head. Schwartz gives the barest of descriptions, I feel, because words fail him here!)

The book is something that most families will enjoy, and will give examples of child behavior and how to handle it with grace and humor that probably will serve to destress the harried parent. Fun book.
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