Customer Reviews

Wounded Boys Heroic Men: A Man's Guide to Recovering from Child Abuse

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I have found this book to be a valuable resource for men dealing with childhood abuse issues. As a survivor, I found most of the literature on abuse to be directed toward women. Sonkin directs this towards men and speaks to the issues men go through. Though not an easy read, I have had many of the issues described thoughtfully and caringly in a way that speaks to me. Many of the thoughts and feelings that I've experienced were laid out in the book, but solutions also offered. If you are just beginning your journey to healing or well along the process, this book can be helpful along the way.

The section of the book that the reviewer is referring to is a quote from a member of my men's group, and not about myself. However, it is important that readers understand that for many different reasons, people are unable to face the realities of their abuse and as a result may inadvertently put loved ones at risk. This is unfortunately an all-to-common consequence of all forms of child maltreatment. It is not constructive to judge their actions in the past, but to help them change for the present and future. What was important for this particular man, was that he did ultimately face his problems and heal not only his own wounds, but his relationship with his son. He struggled for many years and his hard work ultimately paid off. Today, he has a wonderful relationship with his son and his new grandchildren.

This is a great book. I have found most self help books, and most psychologists, lacking empathy for victims of abuse. I have made many unsuccessful attempts in the past to work through my problems but never made any real progress. Dr. Sonkin breaks the process down into four steps- experiences, feelings, attitudes, and behaviors- which have made it possible for me to understand how to work through it all. And the great empathy he expresses was what allowed me to get beyond the usual andger and alienation I feel toward therapists, who tend to be judgemental and condescending. I went through and did all the exercises and wrote everything down- in particular writing down all the feelings lifted a great burden from me.

If you are suffering from the effects of abuse, find a good therapist and get this book. Life will look a lot better.

This is a very insightful book into a subject that is greatly ignored. This book can help many men to overcome something that is usually hiden from public view and can help others understand what their men whom have suffered abuse go through.

Of the growing number of books about male sexual abuse, this one rates just mediocre. The author seems to believe that abused men all grow up to be abusive, especially toward women. He ignores female abusers and the special issues of gay men. I'd recommend one of the better books in this area, especially Gartner's Beyond Betrayal or Betrayed as Boys, but also Lew's Victims No Longer and Hunter's Abused Boys. Also, Moran's The Tricky Part is a great memoir

I would recommend this book for men who still have the emotional scares, the resentments, child abuse issues from our childhood holding us back from achieving happiness and serenity. We can become heroes, over come addictions, free ourselves from the bonds of our pain once and for all.

I bought this for my son, who was molested as a child, but he hates to read and told me outright that he would not read it! I wish he would have though, it looked like a really good book. It came to me quickly and in great condition!

Dan Jay Sonkin Ph.D should not be trying to guide adult males of childhood abuse. I purchased this book thinking "finally a book written for men that would be a perfect guide to self help". I made it to page 38 when I realized that this Ph.D should not be trying to write anything but his resignation in his trade. Dr. Sonkin betrayed his son by permitting a man who abused him as a child, to become close to his son. On page 38 Dr. Sonkin own admission was that he never told his wife, or anyone else for that matter that he was abused sexually by his uncle. In Dr. Sonkin's stupidity he permitted a sexual predator (his Uncle) to become close to his son, and of course his son was also sexually abused by the same uncle. I am surprised that Dr. Sonkins wife didn't divorce him; and I am amazed that he can look his son in the eyes. Dr. Sonkin didn't have the courage to stand up to his Uncle like a grown adult male, he didn't have the courage to tell his wife what his uncle did to him as a child, and instead he was a coward that cost his son his innocence. Hang it up Doc, how dare you try to guide other men, when you can't even guide yourself.

Typical California feel good self-help schlok. Blaming the victim for not getting in touch with his feelings earlier (and of course not paying someone like Sonkin to "help"). Generally muddled pablum.