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Wounded Children, Healing Homes: How Traumatized Children Impact Adoptive and Foster Families Paperback – January 29, 2010


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Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

Why don't our children return our love? What are we not understanding? What are we failing to do? These questions can trouble adoptive parents caring for wounded, traumatized children.

Families often enter into the adoption experience with high expectations for their children and themselves but are quick to discover that these hopes are not realistic. This book addresses the reality of those unmet expectations and offers validation and solutions for the challenges that arise when parenting deeply traumatized or emotionally disturbed children.

About the Author

Jayne E. Schooler's passion for more than twenty years has been the training and education of adoption and foster care professionals and families. She has been a featured speaker at numerous state and national conferences and trains regularly for the Ohio Child Welfare Training Program. She is the author or coauthor of five books related to adoption.

Betsy Keefer Smalley, LSW, coauthor of the award-winning Telling the Truth to Your Adopted or Foster Child: Making Sense of the Past, has thirty-six years of experience in child welfare, adoption placement, post-adoption services, and training.

Timothy J. Callahan, PsyD, is a clinical psychologist who received his doctorate from Wright State University in Dayton, Ohio. Dr. Callahan has twenty years of experience working with children and families as well as adults and teens.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: NavPress (February 12, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1615215689
  • ISBN-13: 978-1615215683
  • Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 5.9 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #151,597 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

40 of 40 people found the following review helpful By T. Lily on March 14, 2010
Format: Paperback
"Yes, that's exactly what I've experienced!" I repeated this statement frequently as I read Wounded Children, Healing Homes, a valuable resource that includes stories of real adoptive parents struggling with the challenges of raising traumatized children. Reading the book helped me feel less alone, less crazy, less angry, less fearful, and more hopeful.

Divided in five parts, the book begins with a look at how unmet expectations affect an adoptive parent's response to his or her child--a child whose behavior seems to scream rejection. Part two examines attachment theory and the impact trauma has on a child and his or her adoptive family. Part three explores how subtly crises can evolve and threaten the stability of adoptive families; it also includes suggestions on how to handle these crises. Part four discusses the educational needs of traumatized children and how adoptive parents can be effective advocates for their children. Part five offers useful parenting strategies. Appendices at the end of the book list resources for adoptive parents and common home-study questions asked of prospective adoptive parents. Each chapter in the book summarizes key points and presents questions for discussion.

I received this book as a complementary copy from one adoptive parent to another. I've read through it twice already and plan to keep it close by as a handy resource and as a source of inspiration. The book is well researched, and I strongly recommend it to current and prospective adoptive parents. If I had had this book as a resource at the beginning of the adoption process, I believe I would've been more understanding of my child's needs and better prepared to meet them.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By J. Brogger on January 28, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
As a child welfare professional embarking on my own fostering/adoption journey, I can't say enough about this book. I've often been very frustrated and worried by prospective adoptive/foster parents who seem woefully unprepared, and although well-meaning, inadequately able to meet the children's needs (rather than their own hopes/dreams). This book doesn't paint the overly-hopeful, rosy picture of adoption that so many wish for. It gives the reality, and then gives hope to that reality, and really concrete ideas on how to make that reality better for everyone.
This book alone is better than days and days of foster/adoptive parent training. Each chapter covers important topics in depth, but short enough to actually have the time to read them when time is precious. There is a quick review for easy reference after each chapter, followed by questions to help you integrate what you've learned in your own situation.
The chapters on school-related considerations are a blessing... this is material that is rarely covered, yet is so important.
There is so much I could say, but most importantly, this book covers what I wish every adoptive parent or person considering adoption knew! It's also helped me to see how social workers can better understand and support foster and adoptive parents.
Time and money well spent!
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Fiona on April 26, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
A very helpful book giving encouragement and support with lots more recommended reading material to carry on with if this is your need. Definitely shed a bit of light on the why of how I feel at times and helped me to understand a bit better the dynamics between me and my two fosterlings. It's nice to confirm that our feelings are entirely normal and also good to have it spelled out what a very difficult job raising other people's children is. If you are having difficulty and near despair this may make you reconsider and give yourself a pat on the back instead as you begin to realise that the negative feelings and patterns of behavior that can happen are part of having a wounded child and not caused by you. I think all prospective adopters and permanent caregivers of wounded kids should read this before leaping off the deep end.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Maxine on March 2, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Going through an adoption of a "hurt child" I have found this book to be extremely informative and incredibly easy to read and will now pass it on to my husband, I have also recommended it to our Social Worker. There are so many "self-help" books out there and choosing is incredibly difficult however, this one is a "must read" for anyone who is considering adopting a hurt child or who has already done so.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Nicole Renee on May 9, 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
While this book has helpful information, I'm afraid it would scare most people away from adopting. I eventually put it down and just stopped reading it, it was too heavy and difficult to get through. There are certainly parts of this book that are beneficial to read, but I wouldn't recommend that any prospective adoptive parent read it as one of their main sources of information. Purvis' "The Connected Child" is a much better go-to adoption parenting book, and I couldn't recommend that one enough!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Timothy on March 18, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Excellent, realistic examples and stories of parenting children in the system. Honest and heartfelt stories and facts. This book makes me feel like a much better parent than I thought I was. The stress and much needed patience that come with hurt children are recognized in this book the hope that it offers is next to no other book I've read about this subject. If you are a parent or about to become a parent of a wounded child, this book is a great resource.
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