How Not to Write a Novel: 200 Classic Mistakes and How to Avoid Them--A Misstep-by-Misstep Guide (Paperback)

by Howard Mittelmark (Author), Sandra Newman (Author)
Key Phrases: narrative stance, interior monologue, speech tags, Bad Guys, Julia Roberts, Machu Picchu (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Review
Authors and editors Mittlemark and Newman identify writing pitfalls in each aspect of novel writing…. A great resource, this tongue-in-cheek guide is a fun read with a lot of solid advice for would-be novelists. -- Publishers Weekly

This writing how-to should carry a warning: it’s the kind of book one reads at the expense of other responsibilities….a surprisingly distinctive approach within the crowded category of novel-writing guides. -- Library Journal

Review
This writing how-to should carry a warning: it's the kind of book one reads at the expense of other responsibilities..a surprisingly distinctive approach within the crowded category of novel-writing guides. (Library Journal )

Authors and editors Mittlemark and Newman identify writing pitfalls in each aspect of novel writing.. A great resource, this tongue-in-cheek guide is a fun read with a lot of solid advice for would-be novelists. (Publishers Weekly )

"[A] hilarious, wickedly observed and deeply useful guide." (The Observer, review by Kate Saunders )

"The teaching of creative writing just entered a whole new era with the publication of How Not to Write a Novel. Heavens, what a joy this book is.." (Lynne Truss )

"Sandra Newman and Howard Mittelmark have produced an invaluable guide." (The Independent )

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Harper Paperbacks (April 1, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0061357952
• ISBN-13: 978-0061357954
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.2 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #55,029 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

17 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Style Distracts from Substance, October 7, 2008

By	C. Gombar "christinagombar" (Saunderstown, RI) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

O.K., we could all benefit from this book, and there are many great tips here. But 2/3 the way through, I realized that the authors are making some of the mistakes they warn against. When they draft a passage to describe, for example, how tedious it is to read about what every character has ordered at dinner, they invade the prose with so many ridiculous names, nonsequitors, etc., that I was asking myself -- what mistake were they trying to point out again?

And unfortunately, every time they pointed out a problem, an author, either one I like very much, or don't like at all, comes to mind. Interior monologue? Lack of scenes and too much In the Narrator's Head? Ever heard of a guy called Henry James? Kingsley Amis? Martin Amis? Too much food, ever heard of the mega million seller Maeve Binchey? The authors praise James Bond in the same breath that they warn against super-heroics.

I think the first two chapters here, dealing with set-up, offer the most useful advice. After that, their prose, over-loaded with jokes, gets wearisome and seems mean-spirited. The style of the book was so unpleasant, it took me two months' to get through -- hardly a page-turner. It would have served them better to intersperce, between their Bad Writing Parodies, examples of a Good, Published Writer carrying off with aplomb whatever technique they've highlighted in the parody. It takes no great skill to slam bad writing. As both are well published writers, I'm wondering why they didn't use examples of their own work?

This is geared towards genre writers, almost any literary novel out there breaks a good half of these rules, so if you're even vaguely literary, you're going to have to filter out a lot of this advice.

I'm a reader who doesn't like action, suspense, too much "snappy" dialogue, and welcomes interior life and philosophical tangents -- which the authors wrongly declare are a bore in literature and in life, using the cocktail party conversation as an example. O.K., I'm someone who gets bored when people tell me long detailed action stories at a party, but I'm often interested in hearing a stranger's inner thoughts, what makes them tick.

I'd say, take this with a grain of salt. They make declarations about what's good writing -- a page turner -- which are completely wrong for me. I like a book that makes me think, so I have to put it down for a few minutes,look out the train window and digest before I move on. Some of us read to learn something and deepen our life experience. This is for readers and writers whose goal is diversion, and nothing else.

10 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars very funny book, June 25, 2008

By	E. M. Bristol "bibliophile" (boston, mass) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

If you are (like me) an unpublished novelist and avid reader, you may have two reactions to this book. One, you may blush at some of the mistakes you have made (and included in a submitted manuscript). Two, you may see at least a few of the errors listed occur in novels you've read, and you'll indignantly wonder why those authors get a pass and you don't. The answer is, that somehow they've found an audience, and you haven't, so you'd do well to pay attention to the "missteps." Although, the book's authors are careful to point out that there are exceptions to each rule.

Some of the advice is rather crude, as someone here as already pointed out, clearly the book is intended for an adult audience, not a young writer, unless they have a colorful vocabulary already. In addition to the 200 mistakes, the author's helpfully describe how not to write a query letter and where not to send your novel, at least if you want to avoid paying someone a large sum of money to publish your book.

15 of 18 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Truly hysterical (and brilliant), April 14, 2008

By	D. Melanogaster - See all my reviews

This book is very smartly written and also hysterical (I can hardly get these words out because I am so self-conscious of my sentences after reading it).

Few How To books are in themselves an enjoyable read, but this one is more entertaining than most humor fiction or non-fiction.

The authors know what they're talking about and, more importantly, SHOW they know what they're talking about by illustrating both how you shouldn't write and how you should.

Their website is a riot too.