Customer Reviews

A Year by the Sea

5 star:		(87)
4 star:		(29)
3 star:		(8)
2 star:		(8)
1 star:		(14)

 

 

I checked this book out from the library after seeing Joan Anderson on Oprah. I read it in a day and a half saving the ending for that second day because I was so moved. I went out the next day and bought a copy for myself so I could highlight. I then bought 15 more for a total of 16 to give as a gift to every woman I knew from 17 to 76 years old. I then read it again. I then tracked Joan Anderson herself down and flew to Cape Cod to meet her for my 30th birthday by myself. No girlfriends, siblings, or husband. You do not have to be wealthy to do this, I'm certainly not. I went myself for my own week by the sea and again met this magical woman. I've never had such an experience in my life and probably never will. Buy the book - buy many and give them to everyone you know. I was 29 when I read it and found myself becoming the author in a few years time. What a blessed woman, what a blessed place, what a blessed book. Amazing.

It is a rare gift to find a soul mate between the pages of a wonderful book. Joan Anderson's style is liquid gold. I was awash in salt air and alternately displaced to Cape Cod and the isle of Roan Inish (my all-time favorite movie). The seals were a fantastic metaphor. Joan's personal pilgrimage is the dream of every woman of her generation who hopes her loved ones will discover her on her own terms. Every woman of a certain age will identify with this story for her own reason. I am also a writer who moved to Cape Cod to complete a womens novel. The outcome and motives are the same; mine is a different story. Anderson will find herself swamped with those of us who want to be her friend, neighbor or confidante. Most of us facing a coming-of-middle-age lack the courage to risk everything. She tackles her pilgrimage with strength and a marvelous sense of humor and emerges a winner in every sense. It was a pleasure to spend time with Joan Anderson. A Year by the Shore is one of those books I raced through, only to find I was sad when I finished it. I was on page 100 before I realized that my feet were cold. I grabbed a cup of tea and some socks and continued reading, saving the last 20 pages so I could savor them in the morning. This book is the perfect gift for many friends of all ages

I bought this book on a Saturday afternoon and finished by by Sunday morning.

This is a great little book for any woman who wonders about who they are, and where are they going from here. Are we just going in circles, are we still playful, do we love ourselves, do we love life?

This book shares the authors thoughts of what happened to her over the time period of one year, alone, all alone in a small family cottage by the sea.

If you want to be inspired to think of yourself first so you have something to give to others this is the book for you.

Before I begin this review, let me state that I have experienced most of the life changes that Joan Anderson describes in her book: from getting older to empty-nesting to (in my case) a divorce to wondering who and what I am. So I am not unsympathetic to any woman's struggle with the above.

That having been said, I almost died of boredom reading this book, and it took me weeks (during which I did not write this review) to figure out why. It is certainly sensitively and well written, and there are some lines that are well worth quoting and remembering. And it is obviously a sensitive and true story of one woman's self-discovery. So why, then, did I find it so terribly banal?

I have finally come to the conclusion that, as personal and deeply meaninfgul as these self-discoveries are, they are of interest and meaning only to the women experiencing them. I simply have no patience. I would love to commune with seals in the wild, I love the ocean, I would ADORE a beach house in the middle of nowhere, but I don't want to hear about it. And I wouldn't want to share whatever I was or was not thinking about my own deep self at any moment in time, no matter how momentous.

I know this is going to be an unpopular review, but it contains as much honesty as I can muster. Of course I can relate to many experiences described in the book--I just don't feel the need to do so. Therefore, if this kind of book is what you like and need, this is probably one of the best of the genre. If not, I would skip it.

I recently attended a storytelling evening given by the Marion Foundation with author Joan Anderson. I had no intention of purchasing Joan's book, but came away with such enthusiasm that I did indeed purchase her book, A Year by the Sea... When I opened the book a few days later, I devoted the entire day to completing it...I see this book as a wake up call to males and females to open your hearts and senses to life and its wonders. I could identify with Joan as she speaks about taking risks, laughing at oneself, really looking at nature and taking time for oneself! Life can be exciting and fulfilling when we take time to wonder at the world around us. These are the messages I came away with; I see her book not necessarily about her relationship with her husband, but with herself. I want to pass these messages along to my mother who needs to look around her at the wonders of life, to laugh, to take risks and to love herself.

Not usually a non-fiction reader, I was struck by the title and description at the book store, bought it, and couldn't put it down. It was amazing to identify with so many "after the children are raised" feelings as well as have my life long drawings to nature validated. Its been a very long time since I've been so mesmerized by an author, so immersed in her bravery to face new experiences and in awe of her ability to share her most intimate thoughts with others. I feel like I know her, but I want to know her more, much more. This book needs to be shared.

I had to read this book for my book-club. Thank goodness I was able to get it from the library and didn't have to buy it.
The book was tiresome, tedious, narcisisstic and at times, frankly unbelievable. The first conversation with Joan Erikson reads as if scripted for a made-for-TV movie. Joan, "It's about action and touch" she says , as if she knows. "That's where the wisdom is - in the senses - stepping out on a gray day, daring to be different. There's no-one as foolish as us right now. Thank goodness! We can be in a fog all by ourselves! I love the grayness of it. The mist sort of wraps itself around our thoughts, so they can take hold".

Give me a break.

As another reviewer wrote, Anderson insists on dragging in metaphors and hitting us over the head with them. The seals, the fox, the trickling sand - enough already.
As to the reason she went on her sabbatical - it appears she married someone so radically opposite her in many respects, she maybe would have been happier with another man. The fact that she raised two sons who are happliy married themselves is maybe a testament to her husband more than her - she mentions that they are always happy in his company. "Their affection for him is more readily apparent than their feelings for me".

Hmm - I wonder why?

The writer of this book is absolutely irritating. The thought behind it -- excellent. I was actually jealous at the writer's ability to make a decision to take a year away from her marriage for reflection, and that she had the resources to do so. I relished the opportunity to curl up with her for a year, feeling sad, or happy, joyous or disappointed, as she wrote about her experience.

Instead, I found my forcefully slamming the book down at times, and at other times, heaving deep sighs of irritation and annoyance. I thought Joan was a whiner who didn't appreciate the abundance of riches she had available to her, to even think about this experiment, let alone carry it out.

Poor me, my marriage has grown stagnant. My children are grown. I'm lonely. I'm overweight. Join the club, sister. But, guess where you and most of your readers part company? Many of us are still slaving away at the 9-5 jobs which put food on the table and pay the rent or mortgage. We don't have options. We don't have Cape Cod getaway houses, multiple vehicles, royalty checks arriving, a savings account we can empty to make the leap, and a year of free time to write about our disappointments.

I don't begrudge her what she had. I just wish she would have had more tact, class and dignity not to write from a place where she felt she had to constantly lament her life, when she had more abundance -- an embarrassment of riches, really -- in that little cottage and the option to retreat to it, than legions of sad and lonely married women have.

I also have to hand it her to husband, estranged during this time, who took a few steps to make her grow up and stop whining. For instance, her cottage belonged to her family before she married and it came down through "her side of the family", not his. Long after she'd separated from her husband and moved to her cottage, and he'd moved to another state to start over a new career as well, the cottage needed a major repair. What did she do? Called him for financial help. Another PBS review states he "refused to help" and I think this was totally justified. The husband pointed out, and I think fairly so, that this was her house, her problem. He had bills, as well. Two mortgages to make (his new house, the old house), etc. It was her decision to take a year off and create this financially precarious situation, and she can't have it both ways -- the independence of living alone, and the expectation that her estranged husband would fix her house for her the minute something went wrong.

She then wrung her hands and lamented about what she had to do --- gasp --- GET A JOB and earn extra money digging clams and such, to pay for the repairs. Welcome to our world, Joan, the world populated by single, divorced women everywhere -- and with small children, working two jobs to make ends meet.

I also felt she used too much poetic rambling. She uses 10 words when she could use 5 and there was just such a sense of "Look at me, I'm a writer. I can write about a rainstorm and make it sound as if I'm watching it in technicolor."

I appreciate nature and all its glory, but the best way to cook fresh ingredients is to let them shine through with simple recipes. Ditto nature and her beautiful displays. You don't need to ramp up the poetry to help describe Mother Nature's beauty. We GET it.

I still envy her ability to take herself away to reflect, and I think she made some wonderful observations which many women, me included, will benefit from, gut good gosh, she was so annoying.

I loved this book. So much of what Joan wrote that she thought and felt.....so much of how she viewed certain things, I relate to. This book is NOT just for older, married women with children. I am only 34, not married and have no children and Joan's words still awaken my yearning for freedom that she experienced. She is a brave heart. She told of the easy flowing good things and her battles with difficult times...with money and relationships and feelings of sexual desire and aloneness. This story is real. This woman is real and her story is one to be savored every step of the way. Thank you for sharing your experience, Joan. I hope the women who read it find strength and courage to explore deeper realms of their lives just like Joan did. It has certainly stimulated a passion in my life that I buried long ago and now feel ready to touch and feel.
Can't wait to read An Unfinished Marriage. Good luck, Joan. Keep them coming!

Though some reviewers have focused their ridicule of this book on the author's opportunities, economic status, and the fact that she doesn't linger on any catastrophes in her life (jealousy, no doubt), I find her honest memoir to be very useful to my own life--one very different to her's. I'm a happily married, penny pinching, thirty something with a young child, and trying to balance my home, family and love life with my efforts to start a business.

There is no shame in any woman admitting that she has neglected her personal needs, and deciding to commit herself to a more fulfilling life. Her attention to her own needs only benefits those whose life she touches. Much like exercising creates more physical energy, renewing oneself creates more energy for giving to others. What the other reviewers neglect to observe is that it is only by attending to one's own need for renewal--whether one hour, one day or one year--that we can give well and fully to others. Joan was in the fortunate position to allow a year for her reflection.

Why do flight attendants tell caregivers to put on their OWN OXYGEN mask first before placing the mask on a child or elderly person? Because you can not help someone else if you're passed out from smoke inhalation or lack of oxygen. Apparently, some other reviewers do not understand this concept.

This book is about ONE WOMAN'S time of renewal. She does not suggest that you follow her path. It's a memoir. Her story. However, I would suggest that reading her story can help open up a reader's thoughts about her own renewal--a path only she can find for herself. Another GREAT book about renewal for women is Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. Timelessly pertinent.