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My Years with Ayn Rand

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Readers should note that this book is a revised edition of Branden's 1989 memoir "Judgment Day". While it claims to be 'substantially revised', the revisions are not all *that* substantial. The many stylistic changes do make the book read better, and some less relevant sections have been deservedly excised.

Primarily, the book is altered so that Branden's associates from the period covered by the book are shown in somewhat more positive light. Allan Blumenthal, for instance, is no longer a quite conventional mama's boy; Barbara Branden is less clingy and shows up as a more autonomous individual. Her numerous affairs reported in the first edition are trimmed to a much smaller number.

Surprisingly, Barbara Branden is reported to have developed the concept 'psycho-epistemology', perhaps the key to Rand's aesthetics. This single fact should end any notion that Objectivism is all the ideas that Ayn Rand came up with and nothing else.

Nathaniel Branden is less self-aggrandizing in this edition, and he takes more of the blame for his failed first marriage and the personal disaster for many Objectivists which he helped cause. The portrait of Ayn Rand herself is little changed, which would make us wonder why bother with the second edition until we remember that this is not a biography of Rand but a memoir by Branden.

All in all, the book tells a fascinating story, and tells it rather better and more fairly than the first edition. But the changes, while interesting, are generally not radical and readers of the first edition should bear this in mind before they buy the current version. Those who have not read the first edition should definitely find this book of interest; it tells the very self-conscious story of a man, three women, loves of people, ideas, and their interrelationships, and how a something like a cult is formed and destroyed.

Persons who know the facts of the Objectivist movement's history (facts primarily ignored by the Michael Paxton film) will know that it was Nathaniel Branden who was the prime architect of the movement. Through courses offered by Nathaniel Branden Lectures, later Nathaniel Branden Institute, the philosophy of Objectivism qua philosophy was first taught to the world.

Those familiar with the basic outlines of Nathaniel Branden's eventful life will also know: that he and Ayn Rand met and became friends when he was going on 20 and she was 45; that some years later they began an affair with the consent of their respective spouses; that the dramatic end of their personal and professional relationship in 1968 had explosive effects for the entire Objectivist community.

Branden has previously told the story of his life and relationship with Ayn Rand in the controversial memoir *Judgment Day* (1989). The present memoir is an extensively revised and updated version of the earlier book. Even readers who have read (and reread) *Judgment Day* will be fascinated by the new insights to be gleaned. *My Years with Ayn Rand* is as spellbindingly written as the previous work but it presents a richer, more complete account.

This is a not-to-be-missed by anyone interested in Objectivism -- or simply interested in the engrossing story of some remarkable people.

Right now, there is an Ayn Rand explosion. Not only is Rand slowly gaining steam amongst academic thinkers, she is all over popular culture. There has been two successful fims ('The Passion of Ayn Rand' based on Barbara Branden's biography and the Oscar noiminated 'Ayn Rand: a Sense of Life.') Both the Ayn Rand Institute and the Objectivist Center- think-tanks devoted to Ayn Rand's objectivism- are experiencing huge popularity. Heck, today- Aug. 26, 02- C-SPAN will re-air the Ayn Rand episode of their American Writers series. The viewer request was through the roof. So why, with all her idiosyncratic views, can't we seem to get enough?

This biography goes a long way in answering that question. Nathaniel Branden, Rand's first 'intellectual heir', takes us on his journey with this enigmatic figure, Rand. From when they first met- he as a college student, she as the successful author of the Fountainhead- to thier intellectual partership and ultimately thier misguided affair. The most interesting part of the book, I feel, is the cacophonic break between Branden and Rand, forcing Branden to reevaluate his life and principles.

It would've been easy for Branden, now a successful psychologist, to handle this book badly. It could've wound up being a bitter memoir about what some have called a 'cult'. Or, it could've centered on a philosophical diatribe of Randian thought. Fortunately, it does neither. It is written almost as fiction. The players, even those Branden clearly doesn't like, are treated with respect and empathy. He also writes with remarkable honesty- clearly a sign of a man who's given much time to self-reflection. Yes, there are spots where Branden does get down on Rand. Her philosophy is also touched on, in part. None of this, however, is induldged in to a fault. What we get is the story of a man in a unique, magnanimous, and ultimately life-defining situation. This is one of the few books I've read that I found perfectly enjoyable- emotionally and intelectually- from beginning to end. Also read 'Confessions of a Philosopher" by Bryan Mcgee.

The memoirs/biographies of Barbara and Nathaniel Branden are musts for anyone seriously interested in Ayn Rand and her work. This is my "two-fer" review of both books, which should be read together.

The young Brandens' encounter with Rand was the most important experience of their lives. Her force of personality and formidable intellectual powers pulled them into a strange menage-a-quatre with Rand and her husband, Frank O'Connor, even as the Brandens launched the Objectivist movement. Both of them came away simultaneously transformed by Objectivism and personally disillusioned with Rand. The Branden-Rand break caused Rand great pain (disguised as moral indignation) and led to the almost-total isolation of her final years. The picture that emerges from both books is that of a woman caught in a self-created storybook world, eager for the companionship of equals, obsessed with control, unwilling to meet the world except on nearly impossible terms, trying to break out of her emotional-sexual prison -- then rejected by the smart and ambitious man twenty-five years her junior who had made her the center of an explosive and influential movement but who also discovered his need to lead his own life and make his own mark.

Barbara Branden's book is mostly biography and marked the first step towards an objective judgment of Rand. The Passion of Ayn Rand is detached and wistful, while Judgment Day is an aggressive, sometimes painfully honest, memoir. Nathaniel Branden was still wrestling with himself when he wrote it. He recounts with pride how he emerged, wounded but intact, from his break with Rand and how his experience as both guru and victim of a cult-like movement affected his later work in psychology. On the other hand, The Passion of Ayn Rand projects no sense of struggle. Barbara Branden deftly and quietly identifies aspects of Rand's psychology that started at a young age and became more pronounced after she finished Atlas Shrugged: her extreme positive and negative idealizations of other people, her habits of "editing" reality and rewriting history, her emotional repression and consequent angry outbursts. Nathaniel Branden traces how these tendencies spun themselves out in Rand's novels, her philosophy, and the movement he created. Rand's lack of self-knowledge extracted a steep price. Of such stuff are cults made, he concludes.

Fortunately, most people come to Rand by reading her books, not through the official Objectivist movement that she authorized, her attempt at complete control of her reputation, even beyond the grave. But it won't do, as many followers think, to accept her novels and philosophy while eschewing the official Ayn Rand cult. The complete Rand, both person and work, needs independent examination. The sledgehammer moralizing and Platonizing tendencies of her fiction are inescapable flaws of not just her personality, but her novels and philosophy. The extremes of emotional repression to which she subjected herself would have done in a person of lesser willpower, but she expected those who came to her to similarly contort themselves and to subordinate their own judgment to hers. A powerful, independent mind like Nathaniel Branden's could do this only for so long. The isolation and decline of her last decade were a result of the same determined willpower that made her novels possible. It also kept Rand and her followers from seeing her philosophical views as a flawed starting outline of a philosophy, hardly a complete system, and sprinkled with unproven assertions ("benevolent universe," "all problems solvable by reason," "existence = identity," etc., permeated by conceptual sleights of hand and her confusion of consistency with completeness and necessity).

These tendencies have had bad consequences for the Rand-inspired libertarian and Objectivist movements. They drove an unnecessary wedge between herself and conservatives. Her obsession with control and self-isolation prevented her from seeing the right arguments for a free society (no one can plan or control society or history or should pretend to) and led to her isolation from potential secular allies like Hayek, Popper, and Friedman. Emotional repression leads to disowning the self that in turn creates alienation from others. Are these not the very tendencies that libertarians suffer from and which seriously impair their ability to influence politics? Conservatives have gotten much further, not because of religion, but because they do not practice emotional repression or repudiate human nature. Rand's followers continue to hobble themselves with her faulty "psychoepistemology" that reduces thinking to conceptual abstraction and people to ideas. It's what made her think that John Galt and Dagny Taggart could be real people and not the allegories they so obviously are. Rand's impossible ideal was humans as self-creating gods, with their minds and lives fully subject to volitional control. For this reason, she rejected religion. But she nearly rejected evolution as well, because it implies that we are all subject to super-individual and unconscious forces, albeit wholly natural ones. Nothing was to interfere with Rand's fantasy of control -- that was her passion and her tragedy.

POSTSCRIPT: The 1990s saw new, important critical work on Rand and her writings. They constitute an excellent start for interested readers, once they've digested the Brandens' memoirs. Start with the official exposition in Leonard Peikoff's Objectivism: The Philosophy of Ayn Rand. Then move on to the best of the sympathetic criticism:

- The Ideas of Ayn Rand, Ronald Merrill
- The Philosophic Thought of Ayn Rand, eds. Douglas Den Uyl & Douglas Rasmussen
- The Ayn Rand Companion (2nd ed., The New Ayn Rand Companion), Mimi Gladstein
- Ayn Rand: The Russian Radical, Chris Matthew Sciabarra (a wealth of historical and biographical information giving Rand's ideas their full context - flawed thesis, but the most thorough scholarly treatment so far)

Even a major book like Sciabarra's only scratches the surface. Rand's allegorizing tendencies are linked to her rejection of her Russian childhood, but also to a thread in Russian literature (traceable, through Christianity, back to Plato) that views persons as embodiments of ideas (e.g., Dostoevsky). The style of her fiction can be viewed as "individualist realism," in opposition to the much cruder "socialist realism" popular in the 1930s and enforced in Soviet Russia. Rand's knee-jerk hostility to religion needs a fresh perspective in light of the mysticism of Orthodox Russia. Comparing Rand to other Russian refugees (like her contemporary and fellow Petersbergians Nabokov and Berberova) would be fascinating. (Russia's exit from the never-never land of Marxism has allowed rediscovery of its real history.) Someone should fully identify the influence of Nietzsche she supposedly outgrew with The Fountainhead. The Nietzschean "lone wolf" mentality clung to her and her work to the very end. Neither Rand nor her followers have ever produced a coherent theory of society. Neither did Nietzsche, but he knew himself well enough to reject movements, politics, and systematizing. Rand did not, and an intellectually sterile cult was the result.

Rand constructed her philosophical beliefs to force the conclusions she wanted - this is obvious in her esthetic views, but it also holds in the rest. Attempts to repair and complete her philosophy lead back to the standard Enlightenment mix of natural rights, utilitarianism, and historical analogy, with Aristotle as one intellectual ancestor among others. These theories remain the backbone of existing conservative and classical liberal thought, at least in the English-speaking world. Could such an exercise lead to anything else?

The hostile reviews on Amazon of the Brandens' books only provide more evidence of the mind-warping effects of cultism on nominally intelligent people. A pathetic recent attack on the Brandens falls into the same category. I could tell you not to read them -- but you should, so you can see what cults are like.

Nathaniel Branden has reworked his memoir of his 20 years of romancing the mind of Ayn Rand -- before, during, and after he knew her on a daily and intimate basis -- into a more focused narrative with this second edition.

He took the subtitle of the previous edition, made it the title of this one, and jettisoned his use of a famous Rand quote as an epigraph. ("Judge, and be prepared to be judged.") All were wise decisions, because this book is really not about Rand's judgments. They would have been difficult to get past -- especially her final sweeping, damaging, slanderous ones about Branden. But to focus too directly upon them ignores the story line, and it's one of a love story that reads like a novel.

Branden fell in love as a teenager with the intellect that shone from "The Fountainhead." And by virtue of his own formidable intellect, along with an uncanny fit into the life of a writer who was missing a genuine challenge and grist in her friendships, he came to love the woman as well. He couldn't handle so many varieties of love at once, and their being present in one skein of interactions that ranged from metaphysics to physical admiration in bed. Such lucid and candid self-admission is what I doubt has been seen this clearly since the extraordinary life of Benvenuto Cellini, in his own famed Renaissance autobiography.

For either edition, I couldn't fathom those who see "self-aggrandizement" running rampant on Branden's part. He doesn't minimize his intellect or achievements in publicizing and even, in part, integrating Rand's philosophic work. Nor should he, with the memory hole that Leonard Peikoff and others have erected regarding his role. (I would have been far more bitter than Branden is about such immature revisionist efforts.)

If anything, Branden is much too hard on himself, considering the detachment from reality that Rand was capable of creating in her worst moments. He bends over backwards to insist on limning many of her best moments. In how he respects and compactly describes Rand's achievements, he shows that in one sense, his "years with Rand" never really ended. They still live in his mind and heart. What had been added to them, after 1968, were the years of Nathaniel Branden, a person and innovator in psychology that he had suppressed.

Branden is, indeed, much less sharp with some of his former associates and "Collective" members than he had been 10 years ago. One exception to Branden's rounder edges, and well aimed in light of 10 years of public absurdity, is with Peikoff. Branden doesn't hesitate to point out the roots of the mess Peikoff has made with the role of Objectivist thought in the wider culture. His own 1950s warnings to Peikoff, his ex-wife's cousin, are even more timely to re-read in light of the many sycophants that Peikoff has gathered to his side. Unlike Branden, Peikoff apparently has never tried to re-own his self.

Another decade has also improved Branden's appraisal of and regard for his ex-wife Barbara, and rightly so. They were not on the best of terms in the mid-to-late '80s, partly from the contrast between their biography/memoir efforts, and that obscured some genuine mutual respect.

The one lengthy addition to this new version, that of his current (third) wife Devers' encounter with Rand, is superbly revelatory of several strains of Rand's personality that Branden depicts throughout his memoir. It makes the tragedy of Rand and Branden more poignant, in showing what emotions and inner conflicts Rand could never quite give up upon in her own life ... even when this could have helped make her whole.

Nathaniel Branden won't say so, here or anywhere, even obliquely, but he was the love of Rand's life, and he remains the prime shaper of all of her public role beyond that of novelist. That makes his story compelling.

I have one mild complaint and one subtle plaudit about this edition. I had hoped for some more detail about Branden's relationship with his third great love and second wife, Patrecia. He may have held back on adding more detail out of wanting to include the episode with Ayn and Devers, and that was probably the better choice for his narrative and for his slice of intellectual history.

Branden did, though, do better this time with his use of photographs. These end up being more evocative than those in the first edition (though slightly fewer), largely from their being placed at timely points in the body of the book, rather than being a single section in the middle.

I was glad that the fascinating Patrecia did, at least, get an additional and striking photo, along with her husband, on an Aspen mountaintop. And, also, that two different photos of Rand, with their handwritten inscriptions to Branden, were newly included. Nice defense against the memory hole ... take that, Lenny.

When I spoke briefly to Branden 10 years ago after a talk he gave about his memoir, I said that the story he told called for a happy ending in the best and most innocent storytelling sense, and that I saw it in how he described life with Devers -- and in the photo of her arms around his neck, the last in the book. You'll understand why I found text and photo so compelling if you try the whole of this intelligent and passionate memoir.

Despite the controversy throughout the Objectivist movement regarding Nathaniel Branden, this book is a must-read for those interested in the rise of Objectivism. While giving Ms. Rand high praise where it is due, Branden is also critical of Rand's behavior in some circumstances. However, as a Rand fan myself, I found his criticisms to be matter-of-fact and without loaded words or innuendos.

This book should be read by the open-minded thinker who can accept that to be a brilliant philosopher is not to be without flaws. I began reading this book as a great admirer of Rand's, and I am still one to this day. But now I have a greater understanding of who she was as a person in addition to an understanding of her wonderful ideas. This book (as well as Barbara Branden's biography of Ms. Rand), should not be missed by any Objectivist.

This book is as thrilling as an Ayn Rand novel. It integrates philosophy, history, psychology, drama. I've never read a memoir like it--and memoirs and biographies are my favorite reading. I liked "Judgment Day," Branden's original memoir, of which this is a new and revised edition, but I like the new one more, although the changes are sometimes subtle and hard to spot, except where it is obvious new material has been added. The inclusion of the story of Devers Branden's encounters with Miss Rand is alone worth the price of the book. Like Branden's "Six Pillars of Self-Esteem," I feel I'll be rereading this memoir every year or two.

I regard this as an excellent companion to Barbara Branden's "The Passion of Ayn Rand", to be read after it once you have an overview of Ayn's life; I often found myself cross-referencing between them. This memoir sheds a brand of personal light, written from the viewpoint of the man who was perhaps closest to the writer of "Atlas Shrugged".

I found the honest tone of Mr. Branden's memoir almost painful in its quest for sincerity. His assessment of Ayn Rand as a great thinker who pointed out the right direction for a new philosophy without perfecting its details is in perfect accord with my own opinion, and his expectations for the future of Objectivism are inspiring.

This memoir makes Ayn Rand very human, neither shying away from her faults nor disguising her virtues, and portrays her philosophical movement equally well, neither pandering to its admirerers nor insulting its detractors despite his own conviction in its basic premises. Objective writing at its finest.

I had never read anything that could be considered a "romance" story before, but after reading this book I can certainly see why that genre is so popular.

This is a fascinating, thrilling, and dramatic story of Nathaniel Branden's amazing roller-coaster life. Other reviewers have summed up the plot sufficiently, but my own summary would state that this is a book with a very cautionary message. The lessons Branden has learned over the course of his life are very important, yet also very dangerous if they are learned too late (as was Branden's situation). These life lessons include the importance of self-esteem, individualism, independence, and being able to identify true friends and lovers over phonies and exploiters.

The book is far from being an indictment of Objectivist philosophy per se, but it does convey a very strong message regarding the dangers of getting too closely involved in any group which places value in the "ownership" of truth above the pursuit of truth.

Autobiographies like these can often make for the most exciting reads. I knew the basic history of the Objectivist movement in some vague detail, and this book kept me engrossed as I wondered how the events the author described would eventually lead to the tragic conclusion I knew was coming. If Branden is good at nothing else, he is wonderful at creating a sense of suspense in his writing, and his use of foreshadowing in his chapter conclusions really makes this a hard book to put down.

It's hard to imagine how anyone could write a romance story more passionate, more tragic, or even more bizarre than this one. The constant twists and turns that this amazing story takes just proves that truth is often stranger than fiction.

I could not put this down. It was almost like reading a non fiction account of the characters of Atlas Shrugged or the Fountainhead - all put into a real life story. Ayn Rand was not lying when she said that Nathaniel Branden is the male embodiment of her philosophy. Behind any differences that may have developed in the lives of these characters and the tragedies they overcame(especially Nathaniel)emerges the sincere, completely accounted for objective account of what happened through the eyes of one of the characters. I enjoyed how Nathaniel included exactly how he felt throughout his entire life in addition to exact accounts of conversations on almost every page. I think the principle that illuminated my mind most in this book was one that I naturally derived from the life of Nathaniel. Here is a man who was exposed to a great woman (Ayn Rand) and presented with a body of knowledge. He essentially never stopped growing, and never stopped confronting new situations and learning more - always building upon the knowledge he had. The beauty of the story is how Nathaniel puts into practice the valuing of his own moral judgment above others throughout the story and achieves his happiness/sanity through doing just that. Nathaniel is torn before assuming full responsibility for guiding his life with his own moral judgment. We can all relate to this. This all culminates with his decision to leave Ayn and Barbara and marry Patrecia, a gorgeous, jubilant model who the reader immediately fell in love with after seeing her picture and reading her thoughts. She tragically dies at a high point in the story, though Nathaniel carries on and marries another attractive woman and writes more books. I do not care what the Ayn Rand Institute has to say about Nathaniel Branden. He is one who has not gave up in pursuing his ecstasy. It is apparent that how we seek that ecstasy, and the consistence/confidence (self esteem) we put in our ability to achieve our unique form of it through our own moral judgment to sustain the creation of that ecstasy is what makes us successful individuals. I learned a lot from this book. I doubt a memoir by any other psychologist could be this fascinating. I truly enjoyed this book - it is a memoir which says that happiness is truly possible to the man who honestly pursues it.