Customer Reviews

You Are What You Say : A Harvard Doctor's Six-Step Proven Program for Transforming Stress Through the Power of Language

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I am convinced from reading this book that Dr. Budd is articulating so clearly the sort of things about ourselves that many of us notice in more private or reflective moments, but are difficult to describe in words so that we tend to think we are crazy, or friends and colleages say we think too much. What makes a book like this so refreshing is that it acknowledges the inner experience of individuals (how things affect us) as being as important (if not more sometimes) as the the things that "happen to us" from the outside. For me, this is liberating because, as Dr Budd points out through stories of experiences with his patients, we are in a much better position to examine and alter our response to what happens to us, than we are able to alter external events that are beyond our control. The notion that we generate our own experience of life, is something that our culture is just starting to wake up to, and Dr Budd has been exploring this for decades. As a doctor myself, it is one of my favorite books to reccommend to patients, because it seems impossible that a person could read it and not be changed by the wisdom that, thanks to this book, will one day be common knowledge.

Because conversation is so much a part of our everyday lives, we tend to take it for granted. Dr. Budd's book does a wonderful job teaching how to create win-win interactions with people in all aspects of our lives. I relate it to creating great dialogue as the most effective form of interpersonal communication. We all have a personal communication style that sums up how we behave in everyday conversations and how what we say and feel can effect our health. Dr. Budd made it possible for me to understand through his exercises in the book and the personal stories throughout the book how to get through my own stumbling blocks. I can't wait to see the results! I love and cherish this book. JG

In this book Matt Budd produces the magic of poets, artists of the first rate, and a few others: he gives us fresh access to ourselves as the material for making a life, and contributes to our skills for designing our lives.

Inevitably, and by design, this book appears in the tradition of "self help." It is that, and the combination of experiences, explanation of phenomena, examples, and exercises that the authors use to bring us the help is effective and beautifully done. However, the book is a lot more than that at the same time. For example, I put it alongside the great plays and the great poets as a source of reflection, insight, and inspiration into what I am doing with my life, and alongside meditation and prayer for creating space in my life to consider what is important, be grateful for life, and get ready to take action on what I am not satisfied with.

And there is more: the authors give us access to a group of thinkers who are not accessible to the general public today, because the foundations of their thinking are so recently built that they aren't even taught at most universities. The best examples are the radical new interpretation of language and action of Fernando Flores and the biology of Humberto Maturana. Each has written, but their books are difficult. Budd does a beautiful job of taking us simply and clearly into these new worlds.

A book not to be missed! Thank you, Matthew Budd, and thank you Amazon for making this kind of conversation possible for all of us.

Dr.Budd has brought forward a powerful program, which enables all that are open to it, to find a new way to experience life, health, and a spiritual awakening. The clarity with which he articulates his ideas, as well as those of his esteemed colleagues Maturana, Flores, and others, has the ability to open places in all of us that too often lay dormant. In reading Dr. Budd's book I have experienced the "light bulb going off", whereby I had to put the book down for periods of time and really think about how I lead my own life. I found Chapter 4 particularly helpful, as Dr. Budd quite eloquently outlines how we generate the life we live through our own language use. His description of "The Ten Linguistic Viruses" impacted me deeply, having the same sort of power as that of The Ten Commandments (religion aside). I found the comments of his four very diverse patients, which he weaves throughout the book, very interesting and helpful. It encouraged me to look again at how I experience and lead my own life. Yet, I never felt confused or overwhelmed as to how to make changes. The exercises at the end of each chapter proved to be an enormous help. I felt I was given the tools to journey to new places in my own inner life with great care and guidance. Dr. Budd's deep insights, concern, and practical help communicate hope to all that are willing to look, listen, and learn again.

This book provides a very valuable way for you to learn its lessons, through the sorts of exercises that Dr. Budd developed successfully in his clinical practice. These exercises include quadrants for self-evaluation, automatic writing, directed recollections, meditation, observation, body experiences, photos, autobiography, and writing biographies. The authors describe this as embodied learning -- helping you actually feel what you normally think and do, so you can begin to transition into better thoughts and actions.

To make the exercises more meaningful to you, the authors use 4 case studies of people who went through them to give you a comparison for your own responses.

The chapters cover some very interesting territory. In "My Black Bag Is Half Empty" the authors note that half of all physician visits are for 14 complaints, for which physicians find treatable disease in only 10 percent of the cases. Something more is needed. An early clue for Dr. Budd was in remembering how his grandmother would ask him what had caused a sick feeling. Then, he would feel better after talking it out. When he tried the same method while undergoing his medical training, he was ridiculed. Physicians usually are taught that the mind and the body are different territories. Through a series of experiences in seminars to explore human potential, Dr. Budd learned otherwise. The examples he uses are very compelling, such as the woman who stopped having an asthma attack at an Est seminar when the seminar leader shouted at her that he was not her father.

In "We Are Animals but We Have Forgotten" the authors explain how the environment triggers a reaction that we cannot control until we develop much better skill in choosing our responses.

In "History, the Sculptor of Our Being" you will learn more about how your repeat patterns were established at a young age, which often are harmful to you now.

"You Are What You Say" is a great stallbusting chapter. It explains 10 bad habits that cause problems in peoples' lives. An example is wanting something, but not requesting that anyone help you get it. You end up feeling resentful and isolated. Another example is agreeing to do whatever is asked of you, without considering the consequences. This leads to major overcommitment.

In "Reasons of the Heart" the book explores the impact that emotions have on us physically.

In "Putting It All Together" the authors explain how to use all of the elements explored in the book.

The focus is on making you more self-aware; accepting yourself, your circumstances, and your reactions; and taking more appropriate actions.

Use this wonderful book to overcome your stalled thinking about communications, human relationships, and how to treat yourself! You'll find that you accomplish more, enjoy life more, and other people enjoy you more, as well.

I suppose we all have places we get stuck in life, or wish we could have more peace or satisfaction. I know I do. I found this book to be very helpful in thinking about these situations differently and, most importantly, finding ways to make different moves, take different actions.

More than merely addressing common areas of dissatisfaction - for example, suffering, anger, despondency, resignation, resentment - Dr. Budd shows plainly and clearly that these moods and emotions arise when we live our lives in certain ways. He masterfully reveals behaviors and orientations to life that are often hidden, in the background, because we "have always done it this way." In doing so, he allows the reader to make REAL changes and resolve the unsaatisfying siuations, disspell some of the moods and live in a way that is more gratifying.

Thank you for the work you have done to provide such a useful guidebook.

I am delighted to now have a book available to use myself and recommend to clients which synthesizes the domains of somatics, linguistics and health. Matthew describes our teacher, Richard Heckler Ph.D., as an "exemplar of the qualities of teachership", and Matthew is himself an exemplar of the "consilience thinking" he describes, transforming the sometimes dense and difficult material of Flores and Maturana [two of our foremost thinkers] into a readable and enjoyable book. I highly recommend this book for psychotherapists, coaches and anyone interested in personal growth.

Finally, a clear and concise exploration of the power of language and the connection that our language has to our body AND our health. Matt does a great job of synthesizing the work of Flores and Maturana with his own learning journey and medical background. He presents very powerful ideas and exercises in wonderfully simple terms that any lay person can understand! I recommend this book to anyone looking to make shifts not only in their own health, but in the results they are producing in life.

I think this book gives us fresh access to ourselves as the material for treating the paints that traditional doctors can't find or can't see. I love the question of Matt Budd's mother; "why your are ill?" and use these question with my self very often when I don't feel well without a clear reason.

Thought-provoking book. This book is not a collection of mere conjectures. This book is solidly based on sientific data and experience as a medical doctor. A must-read for people who are mentally healthy as well as people who are not mentally well.