Customer Reviews

If You Beat Your Fish It Will Die

5 star:		(10)
4 star:		(8)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Ray Owens is a funny guy, and this book is proof! No matter what your age, race, gender, religion, sexual orientation, or choice of Internet Provider, he'll be sure to insult you at least once and make you laugh histerically a million times. It does contain a lot of adult humor, so keep that in mind. Definitely recommended for anyone with a sense of humor, and the ability to take cracks with a grain of salt. Also recommended for those who hate AOL or morons, since there are many idiotic letters from said individuals. Happy reading!

This is the funniest thing I have read in a long time without having to log on. It is a great collection of jokes (some old, some new) and dweeb (or idiot) letters that Ray has recieved in response to his letters and his web site. Like his web site and his daily mailings, you need to be an ADULT. You also need to have a warped sense of humor that allows you to laugh at yourself, as you will surely see yourself in this book somewhere.

When you're ready to inspire your friends with your wit, as opposed to try to impress them with your wallet, then you have attained the maturity necessary to own "If You Beat Your Fish It will Die". Ray has assembled a sampling of some of his favorite JOKES and moments since 1997 for our enjoyment. If you like the website, you'll love the book.

OK, OK! It's a joke book, think of it as a "Far Side" or "Dilbert" calendar that doesn't get used up in a year.

Well done Ray - your dry wit and unrelenting quest to bring all humanity a little closer with the universal language of laughter is truly commendable!

PS: please cross endorsement check "Not Negotiable"

Normally, joke books get dull by the 10th page. But Ray breaks it up with his Judi and Amanpreet mail and sheer mean flames. Funny, in a sort of self-absorbed kind of way. The jokes are good, though, and the last couple of part (buy the book to see for yourself) is worth the price of the book. Memorize the last 10 pages and you can do a stand up routine.

This book is such fun easy reading and the way it is "Kinda Divided" up in segments it is great for picking up and putting down whenever you have a minute. Or when you need a "Quicky" and have very little time. No it is not very everyone - it is not for the young or for the adults that do not know that it is OK to laugh at outselves and for others that are equally as bad off (mentally). I think of Ray as an unknown friend (after all he did autograph my book!) You are Great Ray! Keep up the good work.

If you get a queasy stomach when you hear the word "damn" then you should really go away now. If you, on the other hand, have a sarcastic, no-holds-barred sense of humor, you will love this book. These aren't knock-knock or 'gross' jokes. Look forward to Li'l Johnny and the like, but the real value here is seeing the true life morons that contact Ray, and the entertainingly truthful replies back. You'll meet Judi, who's so blonde it comes through in her words. Amanpreet, who likes his coffee black, like his lizards (or so the rumor goes). And many, many more. GET THIS BOOK.

Great joke book! If you are easily offended on various matters, Ray's "nothing is sacred" approach will scare you. However, is you subscribe to the theory that stupid people shouldn't breed, then you need to read this to meet some of the dumbest people to hit the planet. Ray gets to meet most of them and probably has more fun with them than doing the joke lists! Thanks, Ray.

This book is an absolutely hilarious collection of jokes, letters and off-the-cuff replies. Ray is an intelligent ex-customer service person that finally gets to say exactly what he is thinking not only to the idiot he's speaking to, but the whole world. Beware, this book is for people over 18 that have a sense of humor!

This is actually a pretty funny book. There are enough off color jokes to offend anyone.