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You Better Not Cry: Stories for Christmas [Hardcover]

Augusten Burroughs
3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (59 customer reviews)

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Book Description

October 27, 2009
You’ve eaten too much candy at Christmas…but have you ever eaten the face off a six-footstuffed Santa? You’ve seen gingerbread houses…but have you ever made your own gingerbread tenement? You’ve woken up with a hangover…but have you ever woken up next to Kris Kringle himself? Augusten Burroughs has, and in this caustically funny, nostalgic, poignant, and moving collection he recounts Christmases past and present—as only he could. With gimleteyed wit and illuminated prose, Augusten shows how the holidays bring out the worst in us and sometimes, just sometimes, the very, very best.

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Burroughs's holiday-themed memoir lacks the consistent emotional intensity of his earlier work, despite a few gems. Arranged roughly chronologically, the vignettes begin with concrete Christmas memories (preparing a detailed, multipart list of desired presents in Claus and Effect) and move toward musings on the spirit of the holiday (facing a flooded house with an atheist partner in Silent Night). While the childhood stories have Burroughs's trademark dry wit—he once gnawed the face off a life-size Saint Nick made of wax—they aren't particularly memorable. It's when he turns his attention to the less tangible essence of the holiday that the writing comes alive, especially in the final two pieces, The Best and Only Everything and Silent Night. In the former, Burroughs (Running with Scissors) remembers a long-ago Christmas spent with a former lover dying of AIDS and in the latter, which takes place a decade later, he describes dealing not only with a burst water pipe but also feeling ready to celebrate the season with a tree for the first time since the death of his old boyfriend. (Nov.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

"[Burroughs] matches fine perceptive writing with heartfelt, note-[erfect narrating, achieving an emotional power few audiobooks can match. Burrough's life can be a wild ride, and his reading can match it, but it's a ride worth taking." –AudioFile, Earphones Award Winner
 
"Burroughs reads with such ease and candor he seems more old friend than narrator. With his crisp diction, smooth delivery, and relentlessly funny material, Burroughs could easily have a new career as a performer, but for now, listeners can give thanks for this early Christmas present." – Publishers Weekly, Starred Review
 
"In his trademark wit and self-deprecating humor, author Augusten Burroughs compiles his favorite Christmas memories in his new book, You Better Not Cry." – VanityFair.com
 
"Burroughs has the sort of distinct voice that lends his stories a memorable charm." –CreativeLoafing.com
 
"...He [Burroughs] takes listeners on a rollicking, personal chronological tour of some of his more memorable Christmases...this is laugh-out-loud stuff that nevertheless, with genuine warmth and sensitivity, pays homage to the spirit of giving for which the holiday season is known." - Sound Commentary
 
"This most candid of memorists evokes poignancy and a kind of subversive nostalgia, spiked with flaws and good intentions." - BookPage
 
"He [Burroughs] matches fine perceptive writing with heartfelt, note-perfect narrating, achieving an emotional power few audiobooks can match. Burroughs's life can be a wild ride, and his reading can match it, but it's a ride worth taking." - AudioFile magazine, Earphones Award Winner
 
"Burroughs' stories about Christmas memories alternate between loopy and hilarious and poignant and heartfelt. Burroughs matches his reading style to each story superbly." - Audiopolis, a blog from AudioFile
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 224 pages
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Press; First Edition edition (October 27, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0312341911
  • ISBN-13: 978-0312341916
  • Product Dimensions: 7.6 x 5.2 x 0.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (59 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #21,684 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Augusten Burroughs is the author of the autobiographical works "Running with Scissors," "Dry," "Magical Thinking," "Possible Side Effects" and "A Wolf at the Table," all of which were New York Times bestsellers. "Running with Scissors" remained on the New York Times bestseller list for over two consecutive years and was made into a Golden Globe-nominated film starring Annette Bening. His only novel, "Sellevision," is currently in development as a series for NBC. "Dry," Augusten's memoir of his alcoholism and recovery, is being developed by Showtime. In addition, Burroughs is currently creating an original prime-time series for CBS. Augusten's latest book is called "You Better Not Cry: Stories for Christmas."

Twice named to Entertainment Weekly's list of the funniest people in America, Augusten has also been the subject of a Vanity Fair cover story and a Jeopardy! answer. His books have made guest appearances in two James Patterson novels, one Linkin Park music video, numerous television shows and a porn movie.

Augusten has been a photographer since childhood and many of his images can be seen on his website, www.augusten.com. He lives in New York City.

Customer Reviews

I highly recommend u buy this book! Jeana  |  9 reviewers made a similar statement
I have enjoyed reading Augusten's books from the moment I've picked up the first one. Lisa Marie  |  5 reviewers made a similar statement
I dont know, it was really funny just not as good as his others. D. Brown  |  4 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
13 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Another excellent book from Augusten December 12, 2009
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
I have enjoyed reading Augusten Burroughs books for many years. I was thrilled to learn that he had a new book out. Being a bit of a scrooge myself, I knew this book would not disappoint. It is a compilation of several different essays. I really enjoyed reading the book and it helped pull me into the Christmas spirit.
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14 of 16 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Not his best, but still good October 31, 2009
Format:Hardcover
I'm a huge fan of all of Augusten's books, but I found this one just a little disappointing. I read "You Better Not Cry" in two days...not because I'm a super speedy reader, but because it's a very short book. The page count is decent, but the size of the book is very tiny so the book is over before you know it.

That's my biggest problem with the book. It's just TOO short.

That said, it's an entertaining read. The book progresses chronologically through Augusten's past. The stories of his childhood are generally quite funny. Generally speaking, I actually like stories of his adult life better than stories of his childhood (i.e. I like "Dry" and "Magical Thinking" even more than "Running With Scissors"). This also holds true with "You Better Not Cry". My favorite stories in the book are of his adult life. My favorite story in the book is "Silent Night." This heart-warming little tale makes me really sad that Augusten and Dennis are no longer together.

I found his story titled, "The Best and Only Everything" terribly sad and it's the longest story in the book. But there are amusing stories, too. I really enjoyed the title story, "You Better Not Cry."

All in all, it's a worthwhile read. And with Amazon's discounted price, I'm glad I bought it. I just wish it were longer! Keep writing, Augusten. I just can't get enough of your words!
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Fascinating account of Christmas December 21, 2009
By Fred
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
Not at all what I expected to read ---. I had not known the author and had not realized he was gay. That didn't change my mind though as I read; it was truly fun and sad at the same time. I believe the hour you spend with this book will not be wasted --- obviously, it's heartfelt and I got a sense that Christmas was longed for, as it should be. The childhood glimpses were tough, sad and tragic. The flood was also extremely sad but brought the whole Christmas theme to light. Thank you
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
1.0 out of 5 stars Grotesque, charmless stories, not Burroughs' best
Burroughs writes once again about his childhood as it pertains to Christmas memories. Unlike his other works, which are often funny and/or poignant, this collection is simply... Read more
Published 3 days ago by Kristine S. Woeckener
5.0 out of 5 stars GREAT BOOK
This is another great book from Augusten Burroughs. I would highly recommend this book if you are a fan of Mr. Burroughs.
Published 4 days ago by Judy
3.0 out of 5 stars not bad
You Better Not Cry is not a bad book but Mr Burroughs really should not narrate his own audiobooks. Almost did not finish audiobook because of the narration.
Published 1 month ago by vivianl
5.0 out of 5 stars One of his shorter books but enjoyable
My dad and I love Augusten Burroughs so I got this as a Xmas gift for him. I read part of it before sending. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Lela Kay
5.0 out of 5 stars Deep and touching
This book feels like Burroughs deepest to date.  Truly heartfelt and touching with Burroughs trademark wit and style.  This book is Augusten, all grown up.
Published 3 months ago by Erin Woods
3.0 out of 5 stars 1st story is great
I loved the story about his grand parents visit. The book gets darker as the short stories continue. I'm glad I read it and am also glad I bought it used.
Published 3 months ago by Nancy I
2.0 out of 5 stars Wolf In Sheeps Clothing...
I found my copy at my local Dollar Tree... For 1 buck, needless to say. At the risk of sounding like a Scrooge/Grinch/Limbaugh/Homophobe, I was let down by the simple content of... Read more
Published 5 months ago by Stanky Fun
2.0 out of 5 stars Started great...
I picked this book up on the clearance at Books-A-Million. I LOVE the holidays, the book looked funny and I had heard some good reviews on it. Decided to give it a try. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Crystal Churchill
5.0 out of 5 stars laughing as always
I enjoyed the book. Funny as always - perfect style, even though with a bit of sadness very well hidden inside.
Published 9 months ago by Igors Zaicevs
5.0 out of 5 stars I love Augusten!
You can't go wrong with Augusten if you're looking for a funny, witty read. Being a fan of the short story, few do it better than Mr. Burroughs!
Published 13 months ago by lysh1977
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