You Better Not Cry: Stories for Christmas [Hardcover]

Augusten Burroughs (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 27, 2009

You’ve eaten too much candy at Christmas…but have you ever eaten the face off a six-footstuffed Santa? You’ve seen gingerbread houses…but have you ever made your own gingerbread tenement? You’ve woken up with a hangover…but have you ever woken up next to Kris Kringle himself? Augusten Burroughs has, and in this caustically funny, nostalgic, poignant, and moving collection he recounts Christmases past and present—as only he could. With gimleteyed wit and illuminated prose, Augusten shows how the holidays bring out the worst in us and sometimes, just sometimes, the very, very best.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Burroughs's holiday-themed memoir lacks the consistent emotional intensity of his earlier work, despite a few gems. Arranged roughly chronologically, the vignettes begin with concrete Christmas memories (preparing a detailed, multipart list of desired presents in Claus and Effect) and move toward musings on the spirit of the holiday (facing a flooded house with an atheist partner in Silent Night). While the childhood stories have Burroughs's trademark dry wit—he once gnawed the face off a life-size Saint Nick made of wax—they aren't particularly memorable. It's when he turns his attention to the less tangible essence of the holiday that the writing comes alive, especially in the final two pieces, The Best and Only Everything and Silent Night. In the former, Burroughs (Running with Scissors) remembers a long-ago Christmas spent with a former lover dying of AIDS and in the latter, which takes place a decade later, he describes dealing not only with a burst water pipe but also feeling ready to celebrate the season with a tree for the first time since the death of his old boyfriend. (Nov.)
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Review

"[Burroughs] matches fine perceptive writing with heartfelt, note-[erfect narrating, achieving an emotional power few audiobooks can match. Burrough's life can be a wild ride, and his reading can match it, but it's a ride worth taking." -AudioFile, Earphones Award Winner

 

"Burroughs reads with such ease and candor he seems more old friend than narrator. With his crisp diction, smooth delivery, and relentlessly funny material, Burroughs could easily have a new career as a performer, but for now, listeners can give thanks for this early Christmas present." - Publishers Weekly, Starred Review

 

"In his trademark wit and self-deprecating humor, author Augusten Burroughs compiles his favorite Christmas memories in his new book, You Better Not Cry." - VanityFair.com

 

"Burroughs has the sort of distinct voice that lends his stories a memorable charm." -CreativeLoafing.com

 

"...He [Burroughs] takes listeners on a rollicking, personal chronological tour of some of his more memorable Christmases...this is laugh-out-loud stuff that nevertheless, with genuine warmth and sensitivity, pays homage to the spirit of giving for which the holiday season is known." - Sound Commentary

 

"This most candid of memorists evokes poignancy and a kind of subversive nostalgia, spiked with flaws and good intentions." - BookPage

 

"He [Burroughs] matches fine perceptive writing with heartfelt, note-perfect narrating, achieving an emotional power few audiobooks can match. Burroughs's life can be a wild ride, and his reading can match it, but it's a ride worth taking." - AudioFile magazine, Earphones Award Winner

 

"Burroughs' stories about Christmas memories alternate between loopy and hilarious and poignant and heartfelt. Burroughs matches his reading style to each story superbly." - Audiopolis, a blog from AudioFile

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 224 pages
• Publisher: St. Martin's Press; First Edition edition (October 27, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0312341911
• ISBN-13: 978-0312341916
• Product Dimensions: 7.4 x 5.1 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (48 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #79,968 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Augusten Burroughs is the author of the autobiographical works "Running with Scissors," "Dry," "Magical Thinking," "Possible Side Effects" and "A Wolf at the Table," all of which were New York Times bestsellers. "Running with Scissors" remained on the New York Times bestseller list for over two consecutive years and was made into a Golden Globe-nominated film starring Annette Bening. His only novel, "Sellevision," is currently in development as a series for NBC. "Dry," Augusten's memoir of his alcoholism and recovery, is being developed by Showtime. In addition, Burroughs is currently creating an original prime-time series for CBS. Augusten's latest book is called "You Better Not Cry: Stories for Christmas."

Twice named to Entertainment Weekly's list of the funniest people in America, Augusten has also been the subject of a Vanity Fair cover story and a Jeopardy! answer. His books have made guest appearances in two James Patterson novels, one Linkin Park music video, numerous television shows and a porn movie.

Augusten has been a photographer since childhood and many of his images can be seen on his website, www.augusten.com. He lives in New York City.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Another excellent book from Augusten, December 12, 2009

By 

A. Keith (Virginia) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: You Better Not Cry: Stories for Christmas (Hardcover)

I have enjoyed reading Augusten Burroughs books for many years. I was thrilled to learn that he had a new book out. Being a bit of a scrooge myself, I knew this book would not disappoint. It is a compilation of several different essays. I really enjoyed reading the book and it helped pull me into the Christmas spirit.

12 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Not his best, but still good, October 31, 2009

By 

Claire D "ClaireD" (USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: You Better Not Cry: Stories for Christmas (Hardcover)

I'm a huge fan of all of Augusten's books, but I found this one just a little disappointing. I read "You Better Not Cry" in two days...not because I'm a super speedy reader, but because it's a very short book. The page count is decent, but the size of the book is very tiny so the book is over before you know it.

That's my biggest problem with the book. It's just TOO short.

That said, it's an entertaining read. The book progresses chronologically through Augusten's past. The stories of his childhood are generally quite funny. Generally speaking, I actually like stories of his adult life better than stories of his childhood (i.e. I like "Dry" and "Magical Thinking" even more than "Running With Scissors"). This also holds true with "You Better Not Cry". My favorite stories in the book are of his adult life. My favorite story in the book is "Silent Night." This heart-warming little tale makes me really sad that Augusten and Dennis are no longer together.

I found his story titled, "The Best and Only Everything" terribly sad and it's the longest story in the book. But there are amusing stories, too. I really enjoyed the title story, "You Better Not Cry."

All in all, it's a worthwhile read. And with Amazon's discounted price, I'm glad I bought it. I just wish it were longer! Keep writing, Augusten. I just can't get enough of your words!

27 of 36 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Very Disappointing!!!, November 1, 2009

A Kid's Review

This review is from: You Better Not Cry: Stories for Christmas (Hardcover)

We waited at least two years for this? The title was great, catchy, made you think it was going to be funny but it wasn't. To me it seems like this book was thrown together because of some deadline, it didn't seem to have much heart. The stories were long and drawn out and couldn't keep my attention much as his work usually is so intense you cant put it down. I was also expecting more humor but it wasn't the case for this book. I was really, REALLY looking forward to this book so it's quite the disappointment. I guess I'll be camped out until the next one though as I still have a ton of faith in this man. Sorry Augusten but I'm being honest........