16 of 18 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
I was thinking ""Stepford Wives" too... until..., April 25, 2005
My marriage was in big trouble and I went to the libaray in our church and asked God to help me find guidance. He led me to this book and several others, but his book is where I found my answers. Like other readers, I was horrified at first. I spent my career breaking glass ceilings and fighting for the rights of women. Until recently was the CEO of a multi-million dollar company. Although I am feminine, I also enjoy working on my own car, building things in the garage and all manner of other things this book might not approve of.
However, I DID find in this book the answer to my problem... humility and submission. My pride is choking our marriage.
I am married to a Christian man who would never ask of me the things cited in the book and objected to in the reviews below, so I won't address those issues. However, that doesn't mean I haven't been robbing my husband of the things he needs to feel valued, loved and honored. The way I read this book, I don't have to STOP doing any of the things I love to do. It isn't fixing the car that robs my husband of his esteem, it's fixing the car on the last evening we have together before his next business trip, or refusing his help when he offers, or having a wrong attitude about his needs of any kind.
Yes, it's 2005 and a few of her 1977 attitudes (including her hairdo on the back of the book) stuck in my craw, but I know that when I asked for help, God asked me to read and consider the message IN THIS BOOK. After reading it, I feel VERY convicted to honor my husband in much healthier ways. I am intelligent enough to know what applies to me, and God has shown me that humility and submission are part of my role as a wife - and that they are appropriate. God has given me a wise husband. I can submit to him with confidence.
I came online to Amazon to buy my own copy and am excited to see a new edition beging published next month. I suspect we'll see some more "contemporary" approaches in the new edition.
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37 of 48 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Dangerous and naive, June 2, 2003
This review is from: You Can Be the Wife of a Happy Husband (Paperback)
I have never felt so strongly about a book that I felt necessary to give a review one way or the other, but I feel I must. Please read the last part about finding a better book if you're in a hurry.
I am a spiritually mature Christian who struggled with the idea of submission like many of you. This book is NOT the answer.
I had to read this book 3 times to make sure this wasn't a joke. Even my husband thought it was nuts.
To be fair, she has some correct ideas about how not to beat down your man with criticism and to appreciate what he does, and advocates a more loving, sweet attitude.
I also don't know where she got some of her Bible quotes. I checked 15 translations and they don't say what some of her quotes say.
The danger comes in other junk: staying home from church and not reading your bible in front of him if he disapproves. What about our need to seek a closer relationship with Jesus?
She also recommends being sweet and loving to him when he visits you if he moves out after cheating on you. No mention of the disease issues at all!
You are not to say no to him for any reason (sex or otherwise). This could emasculate him and lead him to adultery or some other ruin. Hello! We are not responsible for their choices and they is not responsible for ours.
She points out that you lose your femininity if you learn how to defend yourself. Getting a job is a no-no, even if he orders you to, which of course you must do. You must be financially and completely dependent on your husband.
The part that really did me in was about going to a place of "lewd entertainment". You must be obedient, regardless of the humiliation. And what if he asks for a threesome? None of these extreme examples are practical and would be great ammunition for an abusive man. Abuse is never covered in this book - very irresponsible.
This book doesn't give men enough credit and does not mention personal responsibility. Her instructions to curtail time with your family, friends and outside interests if he orders it are classic symptons of wife-battering.
She also recommends lying to him, complimenting him on his beard even if you wish he'd shave it off - stupid stuff. If you hate the perfume he gives you, use lots and lots of it to make him sick of it.
She contradicts herself too. Don't discipline the children; she says that's his job. Later says not to bother him with routine problems with the children.
Silly stuff: "Sense" when your husband wants to make love so you can prepare your mind. Make your schedule flexible so you can be available to him morning, noon, and night. Do whatever he asks in bed. When he tells you to empty the garbage, drop whatever you're doing and do it and do it lovingly and gratefully. Practice sitting with your hands folded so you don't annoy him with your irritating hand gestures. Don't move furniture or fix the car either.
If you want a book about how to submit and not be a doormat or a boring, brainless simpering twit, please read "Finding the Hero in Your Husband" by Dr. Juliana Slattery. The idea of submission is not easy for us modern women, but the Dr.'s book is uplifting and practical as well as biblically sound.
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Best relationship book I have read in 32 years of marriage, July 18, 1999
This review is from: You Can Be the Wife of a Happy Husband (Paperback)
This book is definitely MUST reading for every Christian woman--married or single. It is SO refreshing to read a book on marriage that does not teach the woman how to manipulate her husband. This book is very sound Biblically and can be the turning point for even the most difficult situation. I keep re-reading it so I will not forget anything and it amazes me how the content never seems to get stale. Order several copies for friends and family.
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