Customer Reviews

You Can Be the Wife of a Happy Husband

5 star:		(16)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(5)

 

 

My marriage was in big trouble and I went to the libaray in our church and asked God to help me find guidance. He led me to this book and several others, but his book is where I found my answers. Like other readers, I was horrified at first. I spent my career breaking glass ceilings and fighting for the rights of women. Until recently was the CEO of a multi-million dollar company. Although I am feminine, I also enjoy working on my own car, building things in the garage and all manner of other things this book might not approve of.

However, I DID find in this book the answer to my problem... humility and submission. My pride is choking our marriage.

I am married to a Christian man who would never ask of me the things cited in the book and objected to in the reviews below, so I won't address those issues. However, that doesn't mean I haven't been robbing my husband of the things he needs to feel valued, loved and honored. The way I read this book, I don't have to STOP doing any of the things I love to do. It isn't fixing the car that robs my husband of his esteem, it's fixing the car on the last evening we have together before his next business trip, or refusing his help when he offers, or having a wrong attitude about his needs of any kind.

Yes, it's 2005 and a few of her 1977 attitudes (including her hairdo on the back of the book) stuck in my craw, but I know that when I asked for help, God asked me to read and consider the message IN THIS BOOK. After reading it, I feel VERY convicted to honor my husband in much healthier ways. I am intelligent enough to know what applies to me, and God has shown me that humility and submission are part of my role as a wife - and that they are appropriate. God has given me a wise husband. I can submit to him with confidence.

I came online to Amazon to buy my own copy and am excited to see a new edition beging published next month. I suspect we'll see some more "contemporary" approaches in the new edition.

I have never felt so strongly about a book that I felt necessary to give a review one way or the other, but I feel I must. Please read the last part about finding a better book if you're in a hurry.
I am a spiritually mature Christian who struggled with the idea of submission like many of you. This book is NOT the answer.
I had to read this book 3 times to make sure this wasn't a joke. Even my husband thought it was nuts.
To be fair, she has some correct ideas about how not to beat down your man with criticism and to appreciate what he does, and advocates a more loving, sweet attitude.
I also don't know where she got some of her Bible quotes. I checked 15 translations and they don't say what some of her quotes say.
The danger comes in other junk: staying home from church and not reading your bible in front of him if he disapproves. What about our need to seek a closer relationship with Jesus?
She also recommends being sweet and loving to him when he visits you if he moves out after cheating on you. No mention of the disease issues at all!
You are not to say no to him for any reason (sex or otherwise). This could emasculate him and lead him to adultery or some other ruin. Hello! We are not responsible for their choices and they is not responsible for ours.
She points out that you lose your femininity if you learn how to defend yourself. Getting a job is a no-no, even if he orders you to, which of course you must do. You must be financially and completely dependent on your husband.
The part that really did me in was about going to a place of "lewd entertainment". You must be obedient, regardless of the humiliation. And what if he asks for a threesome? None of these extreme examples are practical and would be great ammunition for an abusive man. Abuse is never covered in this book - very irresponsible.
This book doesn't give men enough credit and does not mention personal responsibility. Her instructions to curtail time with your family, friends and outside interests if he orders it are classic symptons of wife-battering.
She also recommends lying to him, complimenting him on his beard even if you wish he'd shave it off - stupid stuff. If you hate the perfume he gives you, use lots and lots of it to make him sick of it.
She contradicts herself too. Don't discipline the children; she says that's his job. Later says not to bother him with routine problems with the children.
Silly stuff: "Sense" when your husband wants to make love so you can prepare your mind. Make your schedule flexible so you can be available to him morning, noon, and night. Do whatever he asks in bed. When he tells you to empty the garbage, drop whatever you're doing and do it and do it lovingly and gratefully. Practice sitting with your hands folded so you don't annoy him with your irritating hand gestures. Don't move furniture or fix the car either.
If you want a book about how to submit and not be a doormat or a boring, brainless simpering twit, please read "Finding the Hero in Your Husband" by Dr. Juliana Slattery. The idea of submission is not easy for us modern women, but the Dr.'s book is uplifting and practical as well as biblically sound.

This book is definitely MUST reading for every Christian woman--married or single. It is SO refreshing to read a book on marriage that does not teach the woman how to manipulate her husband. This book is very sound Biblically and can be the turning point for even the most difficult situation. I keep re-reading it so I will not forget anything and it amazes me how the content never seems to get stale. Order several copies for friends and family.

...However, as I read each succeeding chapter, I felt a deep depression set in. First of all, this book is touted as "Biblical", but there are literally entire paragraphs passed off as Bible quotes that are NOWHERE in the Bible, merely somebody's (the author's?) spurious interpretations and extrapolations. ...

Second, I don't know who this supposedly Christian lady hangs around with, but it sure seems like alot of her friends' husbands (and her own?) go to lewd nightclubs, watch dirty movies, indulge their midlife crises with motorcycles, stay out all night with no explanation, skip church and expect their wives to do the same, and other sinful behavior that wives are supposed to silently indulge without care or comment. The book is riddled with advice in dealing with such self-centered louts, and none of the advice has to do with refusing to accompany your husband into sinfulness, or refusing to even point out that his actions are sinful. Heck, you're not even supposed to ask questions if your husband stays out all night. Maybe the reason this book advocates such silence and self-abnegation on the part of wives is because these wives are married to hopelessly childish, self-centered jerks who haven't a prayer of becoming the godly, Christ-like men that Ephesians 5 calls THEM to be. The author gives the example of a woman who announced her decision to become submissive to her husband, who then tested her by demanding that they go to a lewd nightclub together. She swallowed her hurt and revulsion and agreed, but he came down with a violent headache and so they couldn't go. The author describes this as a victory, but totally avoids the sad point that he still WANTED to go, though he was prevented from doing so. Who wants a husband who would even suggest such things?

The book claims that its purpose is to restore the husband as the head of the household, and yet describes men in infantalizing terms. For example, detailed instructions on complementing your husband's manliness are given, as are instructions to indulge him sexually even when you feel tired or ill, "trusting in God" to help you overcome your lack of interest so that he won't turn elsewhere for gratification. Making sure that you look appealing when he comes home in order to combat the temptations of attractive and stimulating women he meets at work is suggested. There is a subtle undercurrent of fear and anxiety in the book, namely that if you don't completely subjugate your every feeling and indulge your man's every whim, he will turn away or turn elsewhere. Also, while touting men as the leaders of the family, the examples she gives are husbands who seem utterly incapable of acting in a sacrificial Christlike way, protecting a woman, or shepherding a family.

Wives are to be sub,issive to husbands, but husbands are also commanded to love their wives as Christ loves the Church. Remember Christ loved us FIRST-- the Bible says so! Also, Christ would never lead his bride the Church into sin. This book turns these Biblical concepts upside-down by basically stating that the state of the marriage is up to the woman, and that if we're lucky maybe our husbands will notice we exist as a result and stay home from the nightclub once in awhile. No Christlike husband capable of leadership would withhold love until his wife submits; it is the love which ENABLES the wife to confidently submit. No Christlike man would ask his wife to indulge him in sinful behavior; it is up to him to PROTECT HER from such behavior. This poor woman and every single woman friend she describes have very, very sad excuses for very UN-Christian marriages. I pity them.

A female friend of mine gave this to my wife in hopes that it would help our failing marriage. My wife refused to read it, so I read it myself out of curiosity. At first, I was skeptical. I figured how in the world could a woman know what a man wants and needs?

Well, I couldn't put the book down. It soon became evident to me that not only did Mrs Cooper understand the male psyche, but she understood it even better than most men do! The book was 100% on target with everything it said. It is the best book I've ever read regarding the male psyche.

I've read the negative reviews on this book and in each negative review, I see a common thread... A resistance to the truth about submission. The women that wrote these reviews are obviously not ready or willing to have a happy husband.

Wives, if you want to truly understand how your husband was created to be, this is the book for you. Regardless of what the negative reviews from others say, this book is the truth. Men are motivated by the women in their lives. It is up to you whether that motivation is positive or negative.

Oh, and the lady that gave my wife this book....she began to apply these principles. Her husband quit drinking, started spending more time with the kids, and got actively involved in his local church. It works!

I was on the verge of getting a divorce several years ago when the ladies of our church used an earlier verson of this book as a Bible study tool. What I learned and applied changed my life, made me happier and helped my husband and me restore and strengthen our marriage. We've been married 21 years now, and are looking for many more happy years together. I still have my career and love what I do, but I'm so thankful I gave the ideas in the book a try. At first I kept thinking "yeah, right, like that's gonna happen!" but God opened my heart and my eyes and it does work! Now we share Date Nights and he gives me gifts, flowers and jewelry because he was thinking of me, not because of a day on the calendar. He does more to make me the wife of a happy husband than I believe I do to make him a happy husband.

The only person I can change is myself (with God's help) andthis book has helped me more than any other to see myself the way Godsees me, to see where I need to change and to help me to be less critical of myself and others -- a monumental achievement!!

What I took away from this book, twenty years ago when my marriage was on the verge of divorce, not because my husband was a bad guy, but because my expectations of him were ridiculous and my spirit towards him was super critical, was to focus my attention on his positive traits and be an encouragement to him, trusting God to meet my needs. One exercise was to make a list of the positive traits that attracted you to your spouse in the first place. When I hit page two, I realized that I was expecting the poor guy to meet my every need, and not appreciating him for the great guy he really was.

I can't speak to the issue of abuse, as that definitely wasn't the problem in my marriage. What resulted from what I took from this book, was a marriage that is the envy of everyone we know. I can honestly say my husband is the best example of loving me as Christ loved the church. He is the most encouraging person and my greatest champion as I am his. We've been married 25 years now and people often ask us if we're newlyweds.

There were certainly things in this book I didn't agree with, but for me, it helped me to set aside my selfish and immature expectations and understand that God never intended my husband to meet my every need, as only God can, and as a result of that new mindset, I was able to be a true partner to my husband.

When a friend gave me this book 13 years ago, I thought to myself, "My marriage is just fine. Why is she giving me this book?" Quite some time later during an argument, my husband suggested that I read "that book" sitting on my shelf. I did read it, and it changed our marriage so much for the better even though my husband is a Muslim. God's principles can work for everyone, and He can work in anyone's life to change it for the better. I bless my friend for giving me this book, and I always try to keep extra copies around to pass to others (whether they think they need it or not).

This book is a lone voice in a world of women liberals.If more women would follow the biblical truths taught in this book, there would be more happy and whole homes. The key is when your husband is happy so are you.