You Cannot Be Serious - and 32 Other Rules that Sustain a (Mostly) Balanced Mom [Paperback]

Elizabeth Lyons (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 28, 2010

For years, author Elizabeth Lyons has been asked how she does it all.

Whether she's negotiating a truce between her 10- and 5-year-old while eulogizing goldfish, swinging a sledgehammer in her garage-to-be-nursery, bribing her twins to keep their pants on in the grocery store, planning her product line, strategically placing carrot seeds in her garden, receiving life lessons from her oldest daughter, or explaining to her kids why a fellow post office patron has pierced nipples, Elizabeth Lyons has discovered that the secret to navigating through the land of euphoria and hysteria is a carefully crafted set of rules--for herself!

You Cannot Be Serious is a contemporary and humorous roadmap for ''doing it all'' that any woman can relate to for untying her own ''nots.'' And for moms who lie awake at night wondering if their sanity will remain intact until the kids move out, Lyons provides a girlfriend-to-girlfriend guide, not just for getting through each day, but for being able to say with conviction, ''I love my life!''

Editorial Reviews

Review

"...32 rules to help the modern woman thrive in the circus show that is motherhood. Always honest and uproariously funny, Lyons' personal narrative of walking the tightrope is spot-on accurate and should be on every mother's bookshelf." --Jana Matthews, author of TheMeanestMom.blogspot.com

You Cannot Be Serious is a delightfully funny read with sound advice for any mom who could use a little balance between the diapers and the "Don't touch that!" --Jen Singer, author of the Stop-Second Guessing Yourself guides to parenting

"A must-have for moms craving a heartfelt laugh." --Ali Wing, founder of giggle

"Fresh, inspiring, and wickedly funny." --Jenna McCarthy, author of The Parent Trip: From High Heels and Parties to Highchairs and Potties

"...32 rules to help the modern woman thrive in the circus show that is motherhood. Always honest and uproariously funny, Lyons' personal narrative of walking the tightrope is spot-on accurate and should be on every mother's bookshelf." --Jana Matthews, author of TheMeanestMom.blogspot.com <span id="thumbprint">(added by author)</span><br /><br />You Cannot Be Serious is a delightfully funny read with sound advice for any mom who could use a little balance between the diapers and the "Don't touch that!" --Jen Singer, author of the Stop-Second Guessing Yourself guides to parenting <span id="thumbprint">(added by author)</span>

About the Author

Elizabeth Lyons is a mom, author, and inspirational entrepreneur. She is also the author of Ready or Not...Here We Come! and Ready or Not...There We Go!, humorous guides to the first year and toddler years with twins. Visit her website at ElizabethLyons.com

Product Details

• Paperback: 210 pages
• Publisher: Finn-Phyllis Press (May 28, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0974699039
• ISBN-13: 978-0974699035
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.5 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,112,110 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Elizabeth Lyons vividly remembers the day she sat down at the kitchen table and began writing her first book. She was 6 years old. She started with chapter 8 because starting from the very beginning seemed an awful lot of work. When she discovered that she couldn't write an entire book in a day, she quit. Because there were enough other proverbial fish to fry that taking more than 24 hours to complete one project seemed nothing short of absurd.

She invented her first game, Jakbat, at age 3. She wrote her first song (with the very original title "It's really a song") at age 10, and fully expects the newest boy band to pick it up any second. And she insists that she invented the battery-operated heat-generating ice scraper but sadly admits that she didn't run to the patent office fast enough. Lesson learned.

These days, Elizabeth is many things: mom, wife, friend, lunch maker, chauffeur, hostage negotiator, author, on-call plumber, tile layer, guitar student, window washer, product designer, and on and on. She is the author of Ready or Not...Here We Come! and Ready or Not...There We Go!, humorous, solutions-packed, tell-it-like-it-is guides to the first year and toddler years with twins. She is also the author of You Cannot Be Serious: and 32 Other Rules that Sustain a (Mostly) Balanced Mom.

One thing she is not is Superwoman.

She simply demands the right to do things her way--a way that often defies even the most creative imaginations--and she strives to inspire others to do things their way (once they figure out what their way is!).

So, what exactly is an inspirational entrepreneur anyway? Truth be told, it's a term Elizabeth's husband came up with to describe someone who not only is entrepreneurial based on what inspires her, but encourages, inspires, and motivates others to do the same.

Elizabeth lives in Arizona with her husband, five kids, two dogs, two fish, four barely surviving organic gardens, and whatever (or whomever) else has taken up residence with them in the last five minutes.

Please feel free to contact Elizabeth at author (at) elizabethlyons (dot) com. She would love to hear from you, and she prides herself on punctual responses. But if you send an e-mail between 9 p.m. and 7 a.m., you'll have to wait a bit because those are the hours during which she either thinks about or actually engages in sleep, the latter of which is completely non-negotiable.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars You Can Be Serious About How Awesome This Book Is!!!! September 30, 2011

By eld678

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

In a sea of books about parenting, You Cannot Be Serious and 32 Other Rules that Sustain a (Mostly) Balanced Mom, is my life preserver. Author Elizabeth Lyons holds back nothing and gives you everything--honesty, humor and tangible solutions. Her book is more to me than a pretty night-stand table adornment, it's more like my security blanket. Unlike other parenting books I've encountered, Lyons doesn't preach or lecture. Instead, she shares her experience in a conversational way, as if you're sharing a cup of coffee together. I encourage all moms, especially those who are in need of an emotional lift, to read You Cannot Be Serious! You will absolutely love it!

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Buy 1 For Yourself & a Friend!!! July 26, 2011

By Marie

Format:Paperback

This book inspires you to be positive and grateful for everything you have! I couldn't think of any better advice for a mom. I have my book being passed around amongst friends and I am now coming to Amazon to purchase 2 more to give as gifts to friends. Moms' time is so precious and this book is so deserving of that time! We all should be handed this book as we leave the hospital with our newborns!! Enjoy!

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Figuring it out together... September 7, 2010

By Rebecca E. Anderson

Format:Paperback

What a breath of fresh air!!!! So needed! Elizabeth removes the guilt of being a working mother and showed me how to balance it all again. There's no judgment rather support. Elizabeth offers conventional wisdom that reminds me of what being a mom is all about...slowing down and enjoying the moments, rather than wishing them away to the, "I can't wait till you can ______."
This book is a great gift for a fellow mom. As a mom of twins myself, it's dear to my heart. Elizabeth puts it out there: we are all doing the best we can with what we've got.