You Can't Say You Can't Play [Paperback]

Vivian Gussin Paley (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 16, 1993

Who of us cannot remember the pain and humiliation of being rejected by our classmates? However thick-skinned or immune to such assaults we may become as adults, the memory of those early exclusions is as palpable to each of us today as it is common to human experience. We remember the uncertainty of separating from our home and entering school as strangers and, more than the relief of making friends, we recall the cruel moments of our own isolation as well as those children we knew were destined to remain strangers.

In this book Vivian Paley employs a unique strategy to probe the moral dimensions of the classroom. She departs from her previous work by extending her analysis to children through the fifth grade, all the while weaving remarkable fairy tale into her narrative description. Paley introduces a new rule-"You can't say you can't play"-to her kindergarten classroom and solicits the opinions of older children regarding the fairness of such a rule. We hear from those who are rejected as well as those who do the rejecting. One child, objecting to the rule, says, "It will be fairer, but how are we going to have any fun?" Another child defends the principle of classroom bosses as a more benign way of excluding the unwanted.

In a brilliant twist, Faley mixes fantasy and reality, and introduces a new voice into the debate: Magpie, a magical bird, who brings lonely people to a place where a full share of the sun is rightfully theirs. Myth and morality begin to proclaim the same message and the schoolhouse will be the crucible in which the new order is tried. A struggle ensues and even the Magpie stories cannot avoid the scrutiny of this merciless pack of social philosophers who will not be easily caught in a morality tale.

You Can't Say You Can't Play speaks to some of our most deeply held beliefs. Is exclusivity part of human nature? Can we legislate fairness and still nurture creativity and individuality? Can children be freed from the habit of rejection? These are some of the questions. The answers are to be found in the words of Paley's schoolchildren and in the wisdom of their teacher who respectfully listens to them.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

In this brief, ethereal and tender account of social relations among children, Paley--a kindergarten teacher at the University of Chicago Laboratory Schools, a MacArthur grant recipient and the author of The Boy Who Would Be a Helicopter --explores how to keep students from being ignored by their classmates. She describes what happened when she asked students ranging from kindergarten to fifth grade to debate the proposition "You Can't Say You Can't Play." Woven throughout Paley's lessons is a parable about loneliness and rejection, which enables readers to share a child's view of the world. What the kids have to say is enchanting and surprisingly wise. For example, should a "boss" determine who plays with whom, or should there be an election? As a sagacious second-grader observes: "See, the bad thing about voting is, if you don't vote for that person she'll see all the people who don't like her. If it's a boss that's only one person doesn't like you so you don't feel so bad.syntax of quote ok "
Copyright 1992 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal

This book on early education describes an experiment Paley conducted in her kindergarten classroom. Unhappy with the fact that children too quickly learn to ostracize unwanted classmates, Paley decided to make some changes. She created a new social order by posting a sign saying, "You Can't Say, You Can't Play." She hoped to enforce the new order with the series of stories included in this book, which utilize a group of stock characters, principally Magpie. Paley creates an enticing series of children's stories, but her thesis is problematic. As a text for teachers concerned with the moral life of children, it is neither a substantial nor a substantiated offering, and other authors may offer more help.
-Nancy E. Zuwiyya, Binghamton City Sch. District, N.Y.
Copyright 1992 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 144 pages
• Publisher: Harvard University Press (July 16, 1993)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0674965906
• ISBN-13: 978-0674965904
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #57,404 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Vivian Gussin Paley worked for nearly forty years as a preschool and kinder-garten teacher and is the author of thirteen books about young children, including, most recently, A Child's Work: The Importance of Fantasy Play.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

27 of 27 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Touching and thought-provoking, July 2, 2002

By 

Aimee Yermish (Stow, MA, USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: You Can't Say You Can't Play (Paperback)

I'm a teacher and a mother of a preschooler, and someone who was *seriously* excluded as a child. This book had me in tears. Vivian Paley explores and challenges the commonly accepted practice of letting children exclude each other, showing how socially dominant children use exclusion as a weapon to enforce their dominance and what the negative consequences are for the group as a whole. She proposes a solution that may at first seem idealistic, but is just about building a culture of tolerance and problem-solving, and starting it from the youngest ages. A must-read for any teacher or parent.

36 of 38 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Even if You're Not a Teacher, Read This Book, September 5, 2000

By 

Deborah J. Taub "college prof and avid reader" (Lafayette, IN United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: You Can't Say You Can't Play (Paperback)

This small, simple book -- and Paley's simple rule of "You can't say you can't play" -- spoke to me in the deep way that only a few books do. Its relevance goes far beyond the kindergarten classroom, which is the setting of Paley's story. The book speaks profoundly of rejection and its consequences -- and proposes a solution ("you can't say . . ."). If you care about children, if you remember being rejected or left out yourself, read this powerful book.

25 of 27 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Must read for ANY person concerned with Violence in School, September 1, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: You Can't Say You Can't Play (Hardcover)

Vivian Paley has named it for us. The feelings of rejection and dejection begin at and Before Kindergarten, and begin to harden our children to not being accepted and worse, not being acceptable for who they are. Paleys observation to her own subtle encouragement of this unjust system and her subsequent "rule" of You can't say , you can't play is a real eye opener for Teachers of Young Children, Parents and anyone who wants to knwo the real root of the violence which seems to be creeping into the schools. While life isn't fair, it should be made occasionally just and Vivian Plaey has opened my eyes and the eyes of many other teachers.