Customer Reviews

You Can't Say You Can't Play

5 star:		(14)
4 star:		(7)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

I'm a teacher and a mother of a preschooler, and someone who was *seriously* excluded as a child. This book had me in tears. Vivian Paley explores and challenges the commonly accepted practice of letting children exclude each other, showing how socially dominant children use exclusion as a weapon to enforce their dominance and what the negative consequences are for the group as a whole. She proposes a solution that may at first seem idealistic, but is just about building a culture of tolerance and problem-solving, and starting it from the youngest ages. A must-read for any teacher or parent.

This small, simple book -- and Paley's simple rule of "You can't say you can't play" -- spoke to me in the deep way that only a few books do. Its relevance goes far beyond the kindergarten classroom, which is the setting of Paley's story. The book speaks profoundly of rejection and its consequences -- and proposes a solution ("you can't say . . ."). If you care about children, if you remember being rejected or left out yourself, read this powerful book.

Vivian Paley has named it for us. The feelings of rejection and dejection begin at and Before Kindergarten, and begin to harden our children to not being accepted and worse, not being acceptable for who they are. Paleys observation to her own subtle encouragement of this unjust system and her subsequent "rule" of You can't say , you can't play is a real eye opener for Teachers of Young Children, Parents and anyone who wants to knwo the real root of the violence which seems to be creeping into the schools. While life isn't fair, it should be made occasionally just and Vivian Plaey has opened my eyes and the eyes of many other teachers.

Paley's stunning work helps all of us look at our work with children and youth in a new way. In light of recent events in Colorado, this book has even more significance. Paley provides us with the blueprint to creating school environments where all are valued, all have a place, and where none are rejected. I plan to recommend this book to all of my teacher education students. Thanks, Vivian!!

I picked up this book at my daughters' school parent lending library- a school that works hard to implement policies like 'you can't say you can't play' (YCSYCP) and it often works. It certainly works inter-age but problems remain between age-mates. I, too, was a rejected child many times and hate to see any child rejected.

The author teaches kindergarten in a Chicago laboratory school and is troubled by the behaviour of children who are excluded and the children who exclude. She explores the idea of setting 'YCSYCP' as a rule by talking to her student and to older students. The younger children have a lot of questions about how the policy will work, and the older children think that if it becomes a rule early on in schooling, it has a better chance of working. Interwoven with the text is a story that the author uses to illustrate these points to her kindergarten students.

After reading well into the book, I wondered about the author since the writing seemed so.... simple, and was surprised to read that she had been honored by the MacArthur Foundation for her storytelling in the classroom. I tried to read her interwoven story with a more open mind and found it to help a little in understanding the point of the story.

The changes in the classroom as a result of 'YCSYCP' were interesting since the children overall became more inventive and more welcoming, as the author hoped they would. The author was able to define changes she had made in her classroom- like eliminating time-outs- as part and parcel of 'YCSYCP'. I think the simple language worked for these children and could be a good starting place for even older children. As the children mature in their understanding of what happens when the habit of exclusion is broken, they will be able to step back and examine exclusion and rejection in more philosophical terms.

I think this book and others you can find like it are worthwhile as people search for ways to make schools more humane and functional for all students, not just the favored.

Vivian Paley's tender observations and patient interactions with Kindergarteners kept me turning the pages of this book long before my own children were pre-school age, or before I had been teaching long enough to realize that this book would become a useful resource for teachers of any age students. I come back to this book all the time to find the truth about how classroom rules and environments can and should be constructed.

I picked up this book at my daughters' school parent lending library- a school that works hard to implement policies like "you can't say you can't play" (YCSYCP) and it often works. It certainly works inter-age but problems remain between age-mates. I, too, was a rejected child many times and hate to see any child rejected.

The author teaches kindergarten in a Chicago laboratory school and is troubled by the behaviour of children who are excluded and the children who exclude. She explores the idea of setting "YCSYCP" as a rule by talking to her student and to older students. The younger children have a lot of questions about how the policy will work, and the older children think that if it becomes a rule early on in schooling, it has a better chance of working. Interwoven with the text is a story that the author uses to illustrate these points to her kindergarten students.

After reading well into the book, I wondered about the author since the writing seemed so.... simple, and was surprised to read that she had been honored by the MacArthur Foundation for her storytelling in the classroom. I tried to read her interwoven story with a more open mind and found it to help a little in understanding the point of the story.

The changes in the classroom as a result of "YCSYCP" were interesting since the children overall became more inventive and more welcoming, as the author hoped they would. The author was able to define changes she had made in her classroom- like eliminating time-outs- as part and parcel of "YCSYCP". I think the simple language worked for these children and could be a good starting place for even older children. As the children mature in their understanding of what happens when the habit of exclusion is broken, they will be able to step back and examine exclusion and rejection in more philosophical terms.

I think this book and others you can find like it are worthwhile as people search for ways to make schools more humane and functional for all students, not just the favored.

This book was an eye-opener for me. I would recommend it to other educators who are noticing certain children being ostracized or ignored. Afterall, who wouldn't want all children to feel included in their class? Unfortunately, because of these good intentions we may have also unknowingly put more focus onto the alienated child. In the future, I will use this question as a springboard for discussion about playground etiquette to hopefully guide them to inclusive play outside of the class. I began reading this book with high expectations and overall the explanation/examples were helpful. However, as for Magpie and the other fantasy friends, my interest was lost and I found that it was harder to digest than the overall story itself. So, other than those vignettes, the book was a decent read.

My child's preschool had this book in their parent lending library and I read it over a few nights. The book goes back and forth between a fantasy story and what happens when a teacher ponders and eventually institutes a policy that Everyone can play.... no excluding another child, or forcing a child into a negative role they don't want during play. The author makes a strong case by interviewing a number of classes at the school for their feedback, and then implementing the policy of inclusion. I believe this simple rule should be required at all preschool and elementary schools. It would go a long way at reducing the social stress and therefore academic willingness of many students without impacting the so-called leaders. I intend to share the book with my children's teachers throughout their education, and encourage implementation of the rule for the betterment of everyone. It's really a no-brainer, and a shame that it isn't already part of our national school philosophy. I will tell people to skip over the parts with Magpie fantasy stories though, unless they plan to retell them to the children. I don't recall being excluded extensively as a child, but I do recall a few classmates that were, and how painful and inappropriate that must have been to them. What a horrible way to reduce a child's potential in the world, by allowing them to be socially ostracized at school, which probably reduced their interest in school, learning, society, etc.

This book poses an important question. Would the rule "You can't say you can't play" work in schools? The author, Paley, is an elementary school teacher who asks students from young elementary age to 5th grade what they think about the rule. As a child Paley felt isolated and she wanted to create an environment where students would not have the same feelings as she did as a child. When she posed the question to the upper elementary aged students they thought the idea was good but it would not work because it would not be fair to let someone play with you if you didn't want them to play. The younger elementary students thought the idea was good and it would work. I posed this question and implemented this rule to my first grade students. My students thought it was a good rule and it would work. However I did have a child ask "What if you do not want to let someone play with you?" Overall the new rule on the playground of "you can't say you can't play" has produced positive results. I have had far less students come up to me on the playground complaining that someone would not let them play.
In the book, Paley tells a fictional story about a bird named Magpie to students. I found the story of Magpie hard to follow and difficult to understand. The story of Magpie offered nothing to the book. I would have gotten the same out of book without the Magpie story. I would recommend this book to any educator who is having issues with students on the playground. I have seen positive results from this rule, and you may too.