If You Could Hear What I See: Lessons About Life, Luck, and the Choices We Make (Hardcover)

~ (Author), Lynette Padwa (Author) "IT WAS THE first time I had played the Hollywood Comedy Room, and I was determined not to be late..." (more)
Key Phrases: comedy contest, jeep accident, motivational speaking, Mom Meyer, Miss Dailey, Social Security (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Buckley, the country's first hearing-impaired comedian and now also a motivational speaker, certainly has the story to back up her words. Buckley grew up in a smalltown Ohio family of noncommunicators who somehow neglected to explain to her the fact of her hearing loss (at age eight, "I still assumed everyone heard the same way I did"). Besides one good friend and one good teacher, her youth was replete with misunderstanding and misery. She halfheartedly attempted self-destructive behavior, was run over by a Jeep, found her first real lover and left him after she was diagnosed, at age 27, with cervical cancer. She rejected a second operation "I decided to take that incredible gift called choice" and changed her diet and her life, most notably confronting the man who'd molested her as a child. She describes affectingly the experience of finding her first effective hearing aid. Then, two-thirds of the way through her tale, she somewhat surprisingly as the memoir up to here is more sober than funny explains that since she'd always used laughter to win people over, she went into comedy and soon added motivational speaking to her performance repertoire. Her message: "get over it and get on with... life." Buckley rebuilds her own relationship with her mother and finds a surrogate family. She urges communication (to break down walls), decries ignorance (which lets people accept unfair labels) and credits God's guidance for putting extraordinary people in her path. Buckley's spirituality might not convince skeptics, but her hard-won victories surely have given her the capacity to see and point others to the bright side. (July) Forecast: Buckley's PBS special will air in August. Audiences know her she is a five-time Comedy Award nominee and the subject of an Emmy-winning documentary and her inspirational story should sell well.
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Description

She was born with a devastating disability no one could diagnose and labeled mentally retarded by an uncaring school system. She was sexually abused, nearly killed in a car accident, and stricken with cancer-all before the age of thirty.

Kathy Buckley not only survived, but went on to become a top female comic, award-winning author of a one-woman Off Broadway show, and a beloved motivational speaker throughout the country.

In If You Could Hear What I See, Buckley tells her remarkable life story, from her small-town childhood in Wickliffe, Ohio-where she was unable to form words until age seven-to her incredible career as "America's first hearing-impaired comedienne." In chapters such as "I Can Hear the Laughter," "Confessions of a Deaf Catholic," and "Table Manners with Anne Baxter," she shares the pain and pathos of growing up hearing-impaired, the hope that has sustained her through her darkest moments, and the humor that saved her sanity. She talks about the people and events that changed her life and encouraged her to dream. But most of all, If You Could Hear What I See is about a woman who made a choice: to overcome all the obstacles life could throw her way, and to meet those challenges with dignity, courage, and laughter.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 241 pages
• Publisher: Dutton Adult; 1st ptg edition (July 19, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 052594611X
• ISBN-13: 978-0525946113
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.6 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #353,344 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

17 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Smile and Make the Best of It!, August 1, 2001

By	Professor Donald Mitchell "Jesus Makes Me a P... (Boston) - See all my reviews (TOP 10 REVIEWER)

"Learn to use what you have instead of worrying about what you don't." That advice pretty well sums up this book, which delivers the message with a wry, self-effacing joke and a smile.

Several years ago, my wife and I attended a Tony Robbins seminar in which Ms. Buckley was one of the fellow participants who was "working on herself" just like the rest of us. She was doing this, although she had often been a motivational speaker at similar sessions for Mr. Robbins. I was intensely touched by her then, and am even more moved now by reading about her story in detail.

As she says, Ms. Buckley was a victim of ignorance . . . that of others and her own. Probably due to one or the other of severe childhood problems, she has very little hearing. Neither her parents or the school realized this until she was 8. The remediation helped a little, but not enough. She was a poor lip reader, no one tried to make it easier for her, she didn't have hearing aids that did her any good, and schools generally did not give her the special support she needed. As a result, she was more often treated as a mentally retarded person or as a trouble-maker than as a hearing-impaired person. It's hard to know what you don't know in that situation. In many cases, she describes the shock of hearing simple things for the first time (like the laughter of a baby, paper rustling, and the warning bell in a car).

Her second challenge was that having so many things to learn, she was often shunned by others. This made developing her emotional connections slow and difficult. Her parents were not very communicative (even for those who could hear them), and friends and mentors were the exception rather than the rule.

As a result, Ms. Buckley reached a sense of self-awareness and emotional connection that most adults have at 22 only after age 40. The story of how she got there is fascinating. You'll feel like it's happening to you. In addition to the hearing problems, she also had to overcome challenges related to having cervical cancer before she was 30, almost dying in a car accident (while lying peacefully on a beach), and being molested as a girl.

From her trials emerged a smart, caring, wonderful woman whom anyone would want to know and have as a friend. As to those who ignored her when she needed help, you come away thinking that they were the ones who lost out rather than Ms. Buckley.

Some of the many poignant moments in the book include going to her first confession and not knowing what was going on in the confessional, having her first menstrual period without any advance education or explanation after it occurred, forgiving her molester, and learning to be a mentor to others.

Anyone who thinks they have it rough and have the right to feel sorry for themselves rather than taking action can learn a lot from this book. As powerful as the book is, I strongly urge you to meet her in person . . . through her motivational speeches, her comedy routines, or her one-woman shows. That will really bring the message home to you!

What do you need to accept before you can move on? How can you make the best of what you have?

May you find the joy of self-acceptance . . . always!

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Must Read for Everybody, July 29, 2001

By	V. Rummig (Olympia, WA USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Kathy Buckley has led an extraordinary life that enables anybody who reads "If You Could See What I Hear" to gain a new perspective. This book is about overcoming odds to lead a productive life. Kathy describes her hard-knocks in a very real way without taking on a "feel sorry for me" tone. She describes in detail how she went from "I can't" to "I can" in a manner that the reader will be forced to start looking at their own lives to see they have choice to say "I can". This book gives Kathy the ability to go into greater precious detail, then in her stage act, on many of her life's experiences and how she overcame the setbacks. If you've seen her act and was left with questions like "who, what, where or when did you get run over by a Jeep?", the answers are here.

This book is recommended for teenagers, people with disabilities, people who feel like they have been `cornered' into a life they do not desire, and those whose lives are significantly good but just need a reality check on the perspective of those who don't have it as great.

Thank you Kathy for giving us this opportunity to look a little deeper look into your life.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A "must read" for all ages, November 19, 2001

By	Fern Field Brooks (Venice, Ca. United States) - See all my reviews

Incredibly moving and inspirational. It made me laugh and made me cry. But most of all it made me celebrate the wonderful human being Kathy is - and the lessons we can all learn from her experiences. Should be required reading - especially for young people setting out to find their lives.

Fern Field Brooks