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You Don't Have to Be Gay: Hope and Freedom for Males Struggling With Homosexuality or for Those Who Know of Someone Who Is Paperback – November 1, 1987


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Editorial Reviews

Review

Non-clinical though it may be, there's more therapeutic value in this book than in twenty of its analytic predecessors. -- Joe Dallas author of Desires in Conflict

Straight-forward insights into homosexuality that will be life-changing to any reader who is willing to put them into practice. -- Bob Davies, co-author of Coming Out of Homosexuality

Unspeakably enriching and power filled! -- Dr. John White Associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Manitoba
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Pacific Pub House; 1987 edition (November 1, 1987)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0942817087
  • ISBN-13: 978-0942817089
  • Product Dimensions: 0.8 x 5.5 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (36 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #644,395 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

3.6 out of 5 stars

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

102 of 165 people found the following review helpful By Clementine Kruczynski on September 10, 2007
Format: Paperback
I realize that this book was originally written in 1987 and at that time, the studies cited by this amateur author weren't so grossly out of date as they are now. However, this book is in its 4th printing (2000) and a good scholar, rather than someone with a moral agenda to push, would have updated their research.

Even in 1987, the studies cited were outdated, clearly biased and/or lacking any scientific validity whatsoever (psychoanalytic "studies" from the 1960's), or blatantly misrepresented (John Money's "success" of gender socialization? Read "As Nature Made Him" by John Colapinto for the real story).

Gender orientation and sexual orientation are NOT the same thing; homosexuality is not a "symptom" of a "damaged" gender identity. Neither gender nor sexual orientation is 100% socialization, as Konrad tries to claim; there IS an inborn component, which he would have learned had he done some current research - but of course, that would only happen if he had actually wanted to give a fair and balanced study of the topic, which is clearly not his purpose.

Konrad's use of "science" is a joke at best and dangerous at worst as he tries to push the idea that homosexuality is a disorder, a symptom, and not only a "choice" but the WRONG choice. This book should've died in the 80's where it belongs.
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159 of 257 people found the following review helpful By Christopher Lamparello on June 20, 2001
Format: Paperback
I am a gay man. Awhile ago, I heard about all of these claims that gay people can become heterosexual. I love my life and the people in it, so that wasn't a goal of mine. Nonetheless, I did what I do with any and every issue, no matter how controversial. I decided to have an open mind and decide for myself. I read this book with great interest; it only took me a few days. It is an easy read and is written in a casual style, in the same way I am writing to you right here. The author seems very sincere in his writing, but the stuff he believes about gay people was left in history's dustbin a long time ago. Indeed, I am amazed that some people still believe such things. As a gay guy, I have never seen a single person change their sexual orientation. I've known of many who claimed otherwise, but after a year or two go by, they admit there has not been any such change; by claiming they were no longer gay, they were essentially trying to use their willpower to make it so. I find that to be very sad.

Most tellingly...

Alan Chambers, the former head of Exodus International (the BIGGEST "ex-gay" organization in America) admitted that he had never seen a change, and he shut down the organization. Now, if "ex-gay headquarters" admits that it can't be done, that ought to tell you something.

Here is their "cure" for homosexuality (you're not going to believe this)...

In a nutshell, this book suggests that gay men can become heterosexual by developing male bonding with straight people and by having a lot of straight friends, i.e., doing "guy stuff". I was amazed. There is no science to this whatsoever. I can't believe that they assert that playing football is a way to become heterosexual. (Tell that to Michael Sam.
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0 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer on January 31, 2015
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Bought this as a gag gift for my uncle. Kind of guy who can buy himself whatever he wants but he doesn't want or need anything.

I almost felt guilty buying this as it seems as my dollar is supporting this author's ridiculous views on human sexuality but hey it seems he has made up his mind.
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4 of 8 people found the following review helpful By JovenJoe on February 24, 2013
Format: Paperback
The format of the book is very unique in that Mr. Konrad is writing to a friend. The friend has saved all his letters and put them into book form. Mr. Konrad has some extraordinary wisdom regarding this subject; not as one who is writing from the sidelines and is a so-called 'expert', but as one who has experienced every word he wrote and the truth is real in his personal life. He described me to a 'T', as the saying goes. The entire book was written as if he was walking around in my mind, soul,and heart. I received much light and illumination from the LORD about how I interpreted many things the wrong way. It has given me an opportunity to go back to my childhood and repent of my skewed misinterpretations and receive forgiveness at the cross of Christ. This book is a must-read for anyone seeking direction and answers. It is amazing to me how the content is so relevant now, just as it was when it was written twenty years ago. The truth will set you free from the bondage and slavery of homosexuality! P.S. Be a good Dad to your kids!
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3 of 6 people found the following review helpful By winky on January 27, 2010
Format: Paperback
excellent book - seller is crazy , ridiculus price , what have you been smoking ?
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10 of 18 people found the following review helpful By JR on July 4, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This author is amazing. Great testimony that YOU DONT HAVE TO BE GAY IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE! Great read for anyone, not just gays and people who know gays. Youll get a real good understanding of that community and who they are and know they are people too looking for the same thing that we all are.
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1 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Rapfan on October 11, 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book is good for people that truely want to change.
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42 of 73 people found the following review helpful By a reader on August 6, 2009
Format: Paperback
HERE ARE THE FACTS:
NEW YORK -- The American Psychological Association declared Wednesday that mental health professionals should not tell gay clients they can become straight through therapy or other treatments.

Instead, the APA urged therapists to consider multiple options - that could range from celibacy to switching churches - for helping clients whose sexual orientation and religious faith conflict.

In a resolution adopted on a 125-to-4 vote by the APA's governing council, and in a comprehensive report based on two years of research, the 150,000-member association put itself firmly on record in opposition of so-called "reparative therapy" which seeks to change sexual orientation.

No solid evidence exists that such change is likely, says the report, and some research suggests that efforts to produce change could be harmful, inducing depression and suicidal tendencies.

The APA had criticized reparative therapy in the past, but a six-member task force added weight to this position by examining 83 studies on sexual orientation change conducted since 1960. Its comprehensive report was endorsed by the APA's governing council in Toronto, where the association's annual meeting is being held this weekend.

THIS BOOK IS DANGEROUS. SAME SEX ORIENTATION IS A NATURAL PART OF THE SEXUAL CONTINUUM AND CANNOT BE CHANGED. REMEMBER: GAY AND TRANSGENDER INDIVIDUALS HAVE EXTREMELY HIGH RATES OF SUICIDE AND BOOKS THAT OFFER BIGOTED POINTS LIKE THIS CONTRIBUTE TO THIS.
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