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You Don't Have to Be Gay: Hope and Freedom for Males Struggling With Homosexuality or for Those Who Know of Someone Who Is Paperback – November 1, 1987


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Pacific Pub House; 1987 edition (November 1, 1987)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0942817087
  • ISBN-13: 978-0942817089
  • Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.4 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (34 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #641,546 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

Non-clinical though it may be, there's more therapeutic value in this book than in twenty of its analytic predecessors. -- Joe Dallas author of Desires in Conflict

Straight-forward insights into homosexuality that will be life-changing to any reader who is willing to put them into practice. -- Bob Davies, co-author of Coming Out of Homosexuality

Unspeakably enriching and power filled! -- Dr. John White Associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Manitoba

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Customer Reviews

3.6 out of 5 stars
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The truth will set you free from the bondage and slavery of homosexuality!
Dale R. Young
Do not second-guess me or the millions of other gay people who are sincerely telling you that they cannot change and are making the best of their lives.
Christopher Lamparello
You can't fault a person for what he has experienced and found to be true in his own life.
Jean

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

3 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Dale R. Young on February 24, 2013
Format: Paperback
The format of the book is very unique in that Mr. Konrad is writing to a friend. The friend has saved all his letters and put them into book form. Mr. Konrad has some extraordinary wisdom regarding this subject; not as one who is writing from the sidelines and is a so-called 'expert', but as one who has experienced every word he wrote and the truth is real in his personal life. He described me to a 'T', as the saying goes. The entire book was written as if he was walking around in my mind, soul,and heart. I received much light and illumination from the LORD about how I interpreted many things the wrong way. It has given me an opportunity to go back to my childhood and repent of my skewed misinterpretations and receive forgiveness at the cross of Christ. This book is a must-read for anyone seeking direction and answers. It is amazing to me how the content is so relevant now, just as it was when it was written twenty years ago. The truth will set you free from the bondage and slavery of homosexuality! P.S. Be a good Dad to your kids!
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9 of 15 people found the following review helpful By JR on July 4, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This author is amazing. Great testimony that YOU DONT HAVE TO BE GAY IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE! Great read for anyone, not just gays and people who know gays. Youll get a real good understanding of that community and who they are and know they are people too looking for the same thing that we all are.
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99 of 159 people found the following review helpful By Clementine Kruczynski on September 10, 2007
Format: Paperback
I realize that this book was originally written in 1987 and at that time, the studies cited by this amateur author weren't so grossly out of date as they are now. However, this book is in its 4th printing (2000) and a good scholar, rather than someone with a moral agenda to push, would have updated their research.

Even in 1987, the studies cited were outdated, clearly biased and/or lacking any scientific validity whatsoever (psychoanalytic "studies" from the 1960's), or blatantly misrepresented (John Money's "success" of gender socialization? Read "As Nature Made Him" by John Colapinto for the real story).

Gender orientation and sexual orientation are NOT the same thing; homosexuality is not a "symptom" of a "damaged" gender identity. Neither gender nor sexual orientation is 100% socialization, as Konrad tries to claim; there IS an inborn component, which he would have learned had he done some current research - but of course, that would only happen if he had actually wanted to give a fair and balanced study of the topic, which is clearly not his purpose.

Konrad's use of "science" is a joke at best and dangerous at worst as he tries to push the idea that homosexuality is a disorder, a symptom, and not only a "choice" but the WRONG choice. This book should've died in the 80's where it belongs.
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3 of 6 people found the following review helpful By JakeVegas on December 26, 2013
Format: Paperback
For all you Gay nay sayers let me tell you something....I was born straight, I always new I was male growing up, I was also always attracted to girls. I was like this for 21 years of my life. Until I was struck with major depression with psychotic features. After my diagnosis and after being single for a few years, I started developing a female identity and finding men attractive. Been Like this for 14 years. I read parts of this book when I was straight. I'm proof of two things-- sexuality can change and homosexuality is nothing but a delusion. I'm currently trying to cope with this delusion. If you don't know the true definition of delusion-- look it up. Wake up America! Homosexuality is a perversion, just like pedophiles are perverts. The only difference is that they use the the conception of "consulting adults" to justify their actions. You can change, you weren't born that way!
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156 of 252 people found the following review helpful By Christopher Lamparello on June 20, 2001
Format: Paperback
I am a gay man. Three months ago, I heard about all of these claims that gay people can become heterosexual. So, I decided to have an open mind and decide for myself, despite the fact that the gay community says that such stuff is nonsense. I read this book with great interest within 5 days. It is an enjoyable, easy read. The author is very sincere in his writing and is not a bigot at all, but the stuff he believes about gay people is very old-fashioned and, I believe, debunked.
He says that in high school, he had a big crush on a girl but was too shy to do anything about it or was hurt by her. He then got a boyfriend and, at first, was "disgusted" at the idea of kissing him. This tells me that the author was either bi-sexual, heterosexual, or 90% heterosexual to begin with. As a gay man, I have never had an attraction to a girl, and the idea of kissing a man I loved was wonderful to me and still is.
Is it possible that heterosexuals could engage in gay behavior and really not be truly gay? I never thought much about this possibility until I read this book. This seems very likely to me now. Also, I do not doubt their claim that they are FUNCTIONING as heterosexuals, but perhaps they, again, are really bi-sexual and are supressing the gay side, or, they were never gay to begin with.
In a nutshell, this book suggests that gay people can become heterosexual by developing male bonding with straight people and by having a lot of straight friends, i.e., doing "guy stuff". I find this to be foolish and simplistic, although, again, this could work for bi-sexuals by having them reorient their behavior. But the true orientation doesn't change.
The most frustrating thing about being gay is that many people do not take me at my word.
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