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You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation Paperback – February 6, 2007
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Copyright 1990 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Top Customer Reviews
I don't believe her book is at all one-sided. It presents examples of how some people (often women) feel they are always being interrupted and not allowed to present their views. It also describes how a male speaker, through his style, fails to get a professional group's attention or credit for bringing up a major point -- that is then later repeated by another speaker, who refers to the earlier speaker but still gets all the credit.
In order for others to gain an appreciation of this book, I quote below from several selections.
WHO DOES MORE OF THE TALKING, AND UNDER WHAT CIRCUMSTANCES?
"Who talks more, then, women or men? The seemingly contradictory evidence is reconciled by the difference between what I call public and private speaking. More men feel comfortable doing `public speaking,' while more women feel comfortable doing `private' speaking. Another way of capturing these differences is by using the terms report-talk and rapport-talk.Read more ›
Books like this sound very plausible when you are reading them, but then if you read another similar book, you notice that the second author uses an entirely different set of "parameters" for their own matrix (which is quite plausible when you're reading it as well). Trouble is, the two matrices that sound so compelling are totally incompatible and in fact contradict each other.
Moral of the story: it doesn't have to be accurate, it just has to be plausible enough to get a publishing deal.
Good case in point: Tannen mentions the trouble she had with a new computer purchase. The first time she took it back to the shop, the repairman was very unhelpful and spouted a bunch of gibberish at her. Later, she took the computer back and talked to one of the saleswomen, who solved her problem. Conclusion: men are unfriendly and one-uppers, while women are helpful and nurturing.
Problem is, I've known many women who act like the uncommunicative repairman. And I've seen many males who are very helpful and can easily help solve people's problems.
So this wasn't a male-female difference that Tannen experienced, it was simply that the first person she encountered (who happened to be male) was a very technically oriented type; he probably wasn't trying to be rude or unhelpful, he was just not too great at verbal interaction.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Great read. Deborah Tannen is a great author for those who have a casual interest in linguistics, but aren't linguists themselves. Read morePublished 20 days ago by Grace E. Campbell
Women and men just don't think a like. This book is very helpful with insights on how to write male and female characters.Published 1 month ago by Kindle Customer
I enjoyed reading it and found it informative about language and communication. But generalizations about men and women gets annoying after a while. Read morePublished 3 months ago by C. E.
A very good book for those who want to understand the difference in communication between a male or female. Read morePublished 3 months ago by Amazon Customer
Reminds me a lot of "Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus" but with a focus on the workplace. Read morePublished 3 months ago by caryn kirkpatrick
Awesome book that gave me understanding that I had been lacking heretofore.Published 3 months ago by Crystal M. Powell