You Know You're Fifty When [Large Print] [Paperback]

Richard Smith (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 4, 1998

Richard Smith's wildly popular books have made America laugh about everything from wedding-night jitters to weight loss. Now he turns his comic talent to a subject he's about to experience himself: climbing the half-century hill.



Over the next 15 years, 45 million baby boomers will celebrate their 50th birthdays. With Smith as their guide, the Boomers will know exactly what lies ahead. Not only does turning 50 mean you survived your 40s, but you get to join the AARP, answer your front door in bedroom slippers, and spend your kid's inheritance on liposuction. You also know you're 50 when...



Your main form of aerobic exercise is getting up to change the channelAn obscene phone call makes you chuckleYou think a mosh pit is something found at the center of an exotic fruitYou wonder who'll die first--you or your moneyYou wish the "ol' ticker" had a quartz movement"Performance anxiety" refers to your golf game



With 200 of these cleverly illustrated clues and quips as well as comparison charts, entertaining graphs, and hilarious lists, You Know You're 50 When... will be the must-have, must-give birthday present for every soon-to-be-50 American.

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

Richard Smith's wildly popular books have made America laugh about everything from wedding-night jitters to weight loss. Now he turns his comic talent to a subject he's about to experience himself: climbing the half-century hill.



Over the next 15 years, 45 million baby boomers will celebrate their 50th birthdays. With Smith as their guide, the Boomers will know exactly what lies ahead. Not only does turning 50 mean you survived your 40s, but you get to join the AARP, answer your front door in bedroom slippers, and spend your kid's inheritance on liposuction. You also know you're 50 when...



Your main form of aerobic exercise is getting up to change the channelAn obscene phone call makes you chuckleYou think a mosh pit is something found at the center of an exotic fruitYou wonder who'll die first--you or your moneyYou wish the "ol' ticker" had a quartz movement"Performance anxiety" refers to your golf game



With 200 of these cleverly illustrated clues and quips as well as comparison charts, entertaining graphs, and hilarious lists, You Know You're 50 When... will be the must-have, must-give birthday present for every soon-to-be-50 American.

Product Details

• Paperback: 128 pages
• Publisher: Three Rivers Press; Special edition (May 4, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0767902106
• ISBN-13: 978-0767902106
• Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.3 x 6.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.5 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #33,029 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #7 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Entertainment > Humor > Parodies
  • #24 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Entertainment > Humor > General

More About the Author

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

16 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Little Humor to Go with the AARP Card!, July 17, 2000

By 

Donald Mitchell "Jesus Loves You!" (Thanks for Providing My Reviews over 109,000 Helpful Votes Globally) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)    (TOP 100 REVIEWER)   

This review is from: You Know You're Fifty When (Paperback)

With an epidemic of people turning 50 ahead of us, what should we do but laugh!

Seriously, every week I am regaled with at least 12 stories of what 50th birthday parties were like. I'm not sure I can take 20 more years of this. I am always trying to find humor to help me get through these stories, as well as humor I can give as gifts to people.

This Special Large Print Edition is perfect for my purposes.

Here are some of my favorite jokes from the book:

You know you're 50 when --

on your second honeymoon, you tip the bellhop to carry her across the threshold.

you wonder how Mick Jagger stays so thin.

you drop off your dry cleaning at the post office.

'performance anxiety' refers to golf.

your children earn salaries, not allowances.

you're still able to recall where you left your keys, but not what they unlock.

you now read Playboy for the fashion tips.

at last it's okay to sleep late, but you can't.

you carefully trip the fat from cookies.

staying power refers to remaining awake through Cats.

Florida starts looking good.

Be sure to read this book and find your own favorite jokes to keep you amused by your 50+ old friends. Use it to overcome the misconception stall that humor ends with 50.

12 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Good gag gift for aging friends, December 2, 1999

By 

Parker Cross "Peevish One" - See all my reviews

This review is from: You Know You're Fifty When (Paperback)

I like to give books like this (ie, "Getting Old Sucks"; Dave Barry Turns 50) to all my friends when they hit the "Big 5-oh"! It makes getting older a little less painful when you laugh...`

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars You Know Your 510 When...., July 13, 2009

By 

A. Penwell - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: You Know You're Fifty When (Paperback)

Was a cute gag gift for my mother's birthday. After reading a few realized it had more for men then women. So we will put it away for the next 50th birthday for a male. Funny stuff- if your a man.