You Know You're Fifty When [LARGE PRINT] (Paperback)

by Richard Smith (Author) "The first man you slept with is now collecting social security..." (more)
Key Phrases: second honeymoon, Pop Quiz

Editorial Reviews

Product Description
Richard Smith's wildly popular books have made America laugh about everything from wedding-night jitters to weight loss. Now he turns his comic talent to a subject he's about to experience himself: climbing the half-century hill.

Over the next 15 years, 45 million baby boomers will celebrate their 50th birthdays. With Smith as their guide, the Boomers will know exactly what lies ahead. Not only does turning 50 mean you survived your 40s, but you get to join the AARP, answer your front door in bedroom slippers, and spend your kid's inheritance on liposuction. You also know you're 50 when...

• Your main form of aerobic exercise is getting up to change the channel
• An obscene phone call makes you chuckle
• You think a mosh pit is something found at the center of an exotic fruit
• You wonder who'll die first--you or your money
• You wish the "ol' ticker" had a quartz movement
• "Performance anxiety" refers to your golf game

With 200 of these cleverly illustrated clues and quips as well as comparison charts, entertaining graphs, and hilarious lists, You Know You're 50 When... will be the must-have, must-give birthday present for every soon-to-be-50 American.

From the Inside Flap
Richard Smith's wildly popular books have made America laugh about everything from wedding-night jitters to weight loss. Now he turns his comic talent to a subject he's about to experience himself: climbing the half-century hill.



Over the next 15 years, 45 million baby boomers will celebrate their 50th birthdays. With Smith as their guide, the Boomers will know exactly what lies ahead. Not only does turning 50 mean you survived your 40s, but you get to join the AARP, answer your front door in bedroom slippers, and spend your kid's inheritance on liposuction. You also know you're 50 when...



Your main form of aerobic exercise is getting up to change the channelAn obscene phone call makes you chuckleYou think a mosh pit is something found at the center of an exotic fruitYou wonder who'll die first--you or your moneyYou wish the "ol' ticker" had a quartz movement"Performance anxiety" refers to your golf game



With 200 of these cleverly illustrated clues and quips as well as comparison charts, entertaining graphs, and hilarious lists, You Know You're 50 When... will be the must-have, must-give birthday present for every soon-to-be-50 American.

Product Details

• Paperback: 128 pages
• Publisher: Broadway; Special edition (May 4, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0767902106
• ISBN-13: 978-0767902106
• Product Dimensions: 6.5 x 5.4 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #77,118 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Little Humor to Go with the AARP Card!, July 17, 2000

By	Professor Donald Mitchell "Jesus Makes Me a P... (Boston) - See all my reviews (TOP 10 REVIEWER)

With an epidemic of people turning 50 ahead of us, what should we do but laugh!

Seriously, every week I am regaled with at least 12 stories of what 50th birthday parties were like. I'm not sure I can take 20 more years of this. I am always trying to find humor to help me get through these stories, as well as humor I can give as gifts to people.

This Special Large Print Edition is perfect for my purposes.

Here are some of my favorite jokes from the book:

You know you're 50 when --

on your second honeymoon, you tip the bellhop to carry her across the threshold.

you wonder how Mick Jagger stays so thin.

you drop off your dry cleaning at the post office.

'performance anxiety' refers to golf.

your children earn salaries, not allowances.

you're still able to recall where you left your keys, but not what they unlock.

you now read Playboy for the fashion tips.

at last it's okay to sleep late, but you can't.

you carefully trip the fat from cookies.

staying power refers to remaining awake through Cats.

Florida starts looking good.

Be sure to read this book and find your own favorite jokes to keep you amused by your 50+ old friends. Use it to overcome the misconception stall that humor ends with 50.

12 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Good gag gift for aging friends, December 2, 1999

By	Parker Cross "Peevish One" - See all my reviews

I like to give books like this (ie, "Getting Old Sucks"; Dave Barry Turns 50) to all my friends when they hit the "Big 5-oh"! It makes getting older a little less painful when you laugh...`

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Boy, I'm Over 50 and fit right in with this book, August 19, 2006

By	Legal Eagle "Lynn" (Elma, WA) - See all my reviews

There are many very funny jokes and riddles. Nicely illustrated. Fun to have along in the car for the passenger to entertain the driver. It's well written.