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You Might Be a Zombie and Other Bad News: Shocking but Utterly True Facts [Kindle Edition]
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (229 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $15.00
Kindle Price: $9.02
You Save: $5.98 (40%)
Sold by: Penguin Group (USA) LLC

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Book Description

You're going to wish you never picked up this book.

Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school.

* A zombie apocalypse? It could happen. 50% of humans are infected with a parasite that can take over your brain.
* The FDA wouldn't let you eat bugs, right? Actually, you might want to put down those jelly beans. And that apple. And that strawberry yogurt.
* Think dolphins are our friends? Then these sex-crazed thrill killers of the sea have you right where they want you.
* The most important discovery in the history of genetics? Francis Crick came up with it while on LSD.
* Think you're going to choose whether or not to buy this book? Scientists say your brain secretly makes all your decisions 10 seconds before you even know what they are.

Editorial Reviews


"In a sea of literary lies, finally a book that will tell you the truth about the things you need to know."
-Sarah Silverman

"Smart, funny, and cool."
-Roger Ebert

"The funniest, wisest, greatest book ever written! I keep reading and rereading it here in my padded cell!"
-Stan Lee


"In a sea of literary lies, finally a book that will tell you the truth about the things you need to know."
-Sarah Silverman

"Smart, funny, and cool."
-Roger Ebert

"The funniest, wisest, greatest book ever written! I keep reading and rereading it here in my padded cell!"
-Stan Lee

Product Details

  • File Size: 4698 KB
  • Print Length: 318 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 0452296390
  • Publisher: Plume (December 28, 2010)
  • Sold by: Penguin Group (USA) LLC
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B0049H9ASS
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #70,703 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
211 of 232 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
You Might Be a Zombie consists of some of the best, wittiest, and most well written pieces from and combines them in something that people before the internet used to refer to as a "book." While the idea may sound foreign and strange to some, the concept really works, as the words along with some pretty pictures (from some renowned internet cartoonists) fit beautifully on the pages of this fantastic work.

You'll laugh a lot, and probably cringe even more when you read through the nearly 300 pages of this handy dandy guide that pretty much ruins everything you ever held dear by pointing out the ways in which you were lied to over the years, while also forming a new appreciation for people like Teddy Roosevelt, who rumor has it once bench pressed the White House after an all night bender. A definite must read for anyone who enjoys laughter, and if you don't enjoy laughter, well, there's probably an Ingmar Bergman film festival playing somewhere that would better suit you. But buy this book first anyway.

Warning: this book boasts so much awesomeness that just by reading it, you could become pregnant. Even if you're a dude.
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47 of 53 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars You Have Been Warned December 30, 2010
Wow. Now I have been reading Cracked articles online for some time now, and it never ceases to give some guffaws, leading people around me to wonder exactly what I am doing. Now it's just in book form. Furthermore, the fact that the majority of these articles were written by ordinary (but hilarious) people like you or me astounds me even more. How these people find the stuff to back it up, which by the way is all true (except maybe the Jesus one...), I shall always wonder. But thank you, Cracked, for making my world a more truthful and fulfilling place.
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61 of 72 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Cracked, the rich man's Mad December 30, 2010
By Sang
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
If you're a fan of Cracked, joy or the laughter of infants, you'll probably be smiling ear to ear all the way through this book. The articles walk that very delicate balance of being both laugh out loud at inappropriate occasions humour and the knowledge to actually allow the reader to come away better informed. This book's a great pick up for anybody who just wants to have fun. All the Cracked writers have distinct voices and that makes for a varied read, despite all the articles sticking to a list format.

There's just a ton of material here. Along with the new articles there's also a large collection of older, beloved, material to be had for long time readers to reread and for newbies to discover. This is just a damned good value.

This book is golden, so please, buy it.
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21 of 23 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Seriously, cracked? March 21, 2011
I bought this book for my mother. She only read the title. She is now convinced that everyone is a zombie and wants us both to go to Zombie Camp, which apparently exists. I am frankly not sure if that's a de-zombifying camp or if it is a camp promoting zombie pride, but either way, who wants to go to camp with your mother? This book has ruined my life!

Nonetheless, 5 stars, as objectively speaking it's quite well-written.
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18 of 21 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I love this book! December 30, 2010
Format:Paperback, THE best online comedy site, has done it again. This book made me laugh, it made me cry, it was much better than Cats.

18 brand new articles. All new illustrations. Even the credits at the end of the book were funny. If you're a fan of, you will automatically love this book too - it will give you hours and hours of enjoyment (unless you are a slow reader, then it may give you days or months of enjoyment). If you have yet to discover the amazing wonder that is, I suggest that you buy this book, then go directly to the site to get a small taste of what's coming your way. You will not be disappointed.
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14 of 16 people found the following review helpful
By Brucie
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I didn't know much about cracked, but my friend swears by it. I just finished reading the book and I really enjoyed it. It was very funny, but the most surprising part was how much I learned. If you're looking for something that'll make you laugh and keep your attention, check it out.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
Format:Kindle Edition
I admit it, I'm a fan of the Cracked website. It's a hilarious website that holds nothing sacred, making fun of everything and anything under the sun, and delivers some mind-blowing facts in such a manner that it's hard not to laugh at them. It's irreverent sense of humor and its willingness to take on everything under the sun, from science to politics to pop culture, has made it a favorite among the denizens of the Internet, and it has hosted articles by a variety of authors, including Allie Brosh (author of "Hyperbole and a Half"), David Wong (author of "John Dies At the End"), and even former child star Mara Wilson. In short, it's one of the funniest and most varied websites out there.

Would a book put out by the people behind this website be anywhere near as good as the site itself? Yes and no, it turns out. The book, while still funny, is mostly a compilation of articles that's been printed on the website before, and most of them seem focused on the most shocking facts they can dig up. It's still told in Cracked's signature style, however, and is still good for some laughs.

Many of Cracked's articles are told in list form -- "Six Cute Animals That Are Capable of Destroying You," "Five Ways a Zombie Apocalypse Can Really Happen," "Five Facts About Jesus Too Shocking To Be Included In the Bible," etc. This is true for all the articles included in the book, and even the ones describing scientific happenings tend to be told in an informal, easily accessible style, using everyday language and hilarious comparisons. There is quite a bit of coarse language in the book, however, so those that are easily offended should probably avoid this book.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
3.0 out of 5 stars x rated due to the foul language
Bought this to give as a gift to a very bright young man, but I read some of it myself and the language in it precluded giving it to him. Read more
Published 16 hours ago by Sharon
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Such a cute book.
Published 3 days ago by Shalisa G.
4.0 out of 5 stars Winner!
Reads just like the blog. Too cool!
Published 9 days ago by Brooklyn Osborn
5.0 out of 5 stars A Jarring Conclusion
Great book! Got this on audible and FULLY enjoyed it. Then read the reviews for a second book "The De- Textbook" and was told that these books would really be besy enjoyed... Read more
Published 18 days ago by tiffany
5.0 out of 5 stars quick read
Full of all sorts of useless crap. Thirteen words seem like a lot to have to add to make my
Published 1 month ago by Rebecca A. Stoneking
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Loved it!
Published 1 month ago by Milissa Carter
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
as expected
Published 1 month ago by renee
5.0 out of 5 stars it wasn't what I expected
I frequent a lot. I'm actually pretty addicted to it once I start reading the hilarious satire. This book is kinda like a collection of those articles. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Vacaba Coulibaly
5.0 out of 5 stars Learning has never been funnier.
HILARIOUS! And I listen to the Audible version during morning walks and I know the neighbors think I've been "touched" when they hear me laugh out loud. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Scott Senior
5.0 out of 5 stars Couldn't put it down. Have never laughed so hard or learned so much in...
Great book. So full of useless trivia and fun facts. I couldn't put it down. Great read. I loved this book.
Published 2 months ago by Mary Woods
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