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You Might Be a Zombie and Other Bad News: Shocking but Utterly True Facts [Kindle Edition]

Cracked.com
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (219 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $15.00
Kindle Price: $9.62
You Save: $5.38 (36%)
Sold by: Penguin Group (USA) LLC

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Book Description

You're going to wish you never picked up this book.

Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school.

* A zombie apocalypse? It could happen. 50% of humans are infected with a parasite that can take over your brain.
* The FDA wouldn't let you eat bugs, right? Actually, you might want to put down those jelly beans. And that apple. And that strawberry yogurt.
* Think dolphins are our friends? Then these sex-crazed thrill killers of the sea have you right where they want you.
* The most important discovery in the history of genetics? Francis Crick came up with it while on LSD.
* Think you're going to choose whether or not to buy this book? Scientists say your brain secretly makes all your decisions 10 seconds before you even know what they are.



Editorial Reviews

Review

"In a sea of literary lies, finally a book that will tell you the truth about the things you need to know."
-Sarah Silverman

"Smart, funny, and cool."
-Roger Ebert

"The funniest, wisest, greatest book ever written! I keep reading and rereading it here in my padded cell!"
-Stan Lee

Review

"In a sea of literary lies, finally a book that will tell you the truth about the things you need to know."
-Sarah Silverman

"Smart, funny, and cool."
-Roger Ebert

"The funniest, wisest, greatest book ever written! I keep reading and rereading it here in my padded cell!"
-Stan Lee


Product Details

  • File Size: 4698 KB
  • Print Length: 318 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 0452296390
  • Publisher: Plume (December 28, 2010)
  • Sold by: Penguin Group (USA) LLC
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B0049H9ASS
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #192,414 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
  •  Would you like to give feedback on images?.


Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
198 of 218 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
You Might Be a Zombie consists of some of the best, wittiest, and most well written pieces from Cracked.com and combines them in something that people before the internet used to refer to as a "book." While the idea may sound foreign and strange to some, the concept really works, as the words along with some pretty pictures (from some renowned internet cartoonists) fit beautifully on the pages of this fantastic work.

You'll laugh a lot, and probably cringe even more when you read through the nearly 300 pages of this handy dandy guide that pretty much ruins everything you ever held dear by pointing out the ways in which you were lied to over the years, while also forming a new appreciation for people like Teddy Roosevelt, who rumor has it once bench pressed the White House after an all night bender. A definite must read for anyone who enjoys laughter, and if you don't enjoy laughter, well, there's probably an Ingmar Bergman film festival playing somewhere that would better suit you. But buy this book first anyway.

Warning: this book boasts so much awesomeness that just by reading it, you could become pregnant. Even if you're a dude.
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40 of 45 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars You Have Been Warned December 30, 2010
Format:Paperback
Wow. Now I have been reading Cracked articles online for some time now, and it never ceases to give some guffaws, leading people around me to wonder exactly what I am doing. Now it's just in book form. Furthermore, the fact that the majority of these articles were written by ordinary (but hilarious) people like you or me astounds me even more. How these people find the stuff to back it up, which by the way is all true (except maybe the Jesus one...), I shall always wonder. But thank you, Cracked, for making my world a more truthful and fulfilling place.
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57 of 68 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Cracked, the rich man's Mad December 30, 2010
By Sang
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
If you're a fan of Cracked, joy or the laughter of infants, you'll probably be smiling ear to ear all the way through this book. The articles walk that very delicate balance of being both laugh out loud at inappropriate occasions humour and the knowledge to actually allow the reader to come away better informed. This book's a great pick up for anybody who just wants to have fun. All the Cracked writers have distinct voices and that makes for a varied read, despite all the articles sticking to a list format.

There's just a ton of material here. Along with the new articles there's also a large collection of older, beloved, material to be had for long time readers to reread and for newbies to discover. This is just a damned good value.

This book is golden, so please, buy it.
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19 of 21 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Seriously, cracked? March 21, 2011
Format:Paperback
I bought this book for my mother. She only read the title. She is now convinced that everyone is a zombie and wants us both to go to Zombie Camp, which apparently exists. I am frankly not sure if that's a de-zombifying camp or if it is a camp promoting zombie pride, but either way, who wants to go to camp with your mother? This book has ruined my life!

Nonetheless, 5 stars, as objectively speaking it's quite well-written.
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14 of 16 people found the following review helpful
By Brucie
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I didn't know much about cracked, but my friend swears by it. I just finished reading the book and I really enjoyed it. It was very funny, but the most surprising part was how much I learned. If you're looking for something that'll make you laugh and keep your attention, check it out.
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16 of 19 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I love this book! December 30, 2010
Format:Paperback
Cracked.com, THE best online comedy site, has done it again. This book made me laugh, it made me cry, it was much better than Cats.

18 brand new articles. All new illustrations. Even the credits at the end of the book were funny. If you're a fan of Cracked.com, you will automatically love this book too - it will give you hours and hours of enjoyment (unless you are a slow reader, then it may give you days or months of enjoyment). If you have yet to discover the amazing wonder that is Cracked.com, I suggest that you buy this book, then go directly to the site to get a small taste of what's coming your way. You will not be disappointed.
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27 of 36 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Very funny - doesn't let Cracked fans down December 29, 2010
By qdaly
Format:Paperback
I have been a Cracked.com fan and thought uh-oh, a book. Is that a sell out? will it be lame? It's great. And picking up a hard copy yesterday to help with the airport hell that awaits me in traveling this holiday season, I know that screaming babies and flight delays will be more bearable. It's great to have if you don't have Internet access and need a fix of Cracked. I loved it.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars great read! January 10, 2011
Format:Paperback
Amazing book by my favorite comedy site! Michael Swaim wrote 3 of the articles and I am absolutely in love with any project he is a part of. This book also works well to leave next to the commode!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Funny and a little scary lol.
Published 20 days ago by Crystal
4.0 out of 5 stars Entertaining but if you are a long-time Cracked. com ...
Entertaining but if you are a long-time Cracked.com reader you may not find much here you did not know (or suspect) about the cosmos.
Published 1 month ago by S. M.Silver
5.0 out of 5 stars Good conversation starter
This is a really funny book, lots of fun, mostly unknown facts that you can drop onto people at a party. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Meredith G.
3.0 out of 5 stars Fun little read
It can be a fun read but it has more than one Mis-informed chapter.
Published 1 month ago by Jim Stewart
4.0 out of 5 stars Funny read, semi-generic
Seller is 5 star, but the book is pretty much like any documentary-esque shows on tv nowadays. Funny read, knew of several stories in the book.
Published 1 month ago by H-Bar8
5.0 out of 5 stars A super awesome laughtastic journey of awesome awesomeness
This book is so funny and enlightening that even a few years after buying it I still find myself quoting it to friends. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Miguel
3.0 out of 5 stars It was okay to read once...
Entertaining to read, but not something I'd want to read over again. I enjoy the 'Cracked' writings on the website and was curious about the books so I purchased one to read. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Storm
5.0 out of 5 stars Love it!
This book has made my bathroom breaks both entertaining and educational! But seriously, it's a great compilation of some of Cracked.com's best articles.
Published 2 months ago by Bianca
5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome Book!
I was looking for a good gift for my sister's boyfriend for Christmas, and since he's a book reader/ fan of trivial facts, I thought he'd like this book. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Trish Johnson
4.0 out of 5 stars Good read
Get your humor and factual content in one book. There were a few times where I just laughed aloud in public resulting in many looks. Well done.
Published 3 months ago by RK Son
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