Customer Reviews

If You Only Knew

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

Admittedly the lead character has a run of bad luck: he's working for a "fake" psychic 900 line (and a friend of mine is working for one of these, so I know they're not routinely fake) after getting fired from his journalist job, and then his apartment goes up in smoke after he falls asleep with a candle burning. He sees a woman in a shop he is immediately attracted to, but she turns out to be his prospective roommate, and the reason why he's a prospect is because he's been mistaken for being gay. (All that sensitivity and a certain naivete on his part has led to the necessary misconception to get the plot going.) So "meet cute" doesn't automatically correspond to cute couple, as he wants to live in the apartment and be close to her, so that necessitates his pretending to be gay, rather than risk getting tossed out. Alison Eastwood and Jonathon Schaech are the leads, and there are problems right there, with the casting. Alison Eastwood has one quality right that serves the production; there is a common earthiness to her, she could easily be mistaken for "white trash," and this coarseness works for the part. You can imagine how a straight guy would automatically make her his object of desire, unlike a cold and blandly wholesome type blonde like Kate Hudson, who could have been considered for this same role. Hudson is better at keeping a man at bay rather than drawing him in thru a combination vulnerability and earthiness as Eastwood embodies. What is wrong, however, with Eastwood's casting is she is an extremely limited one-note actress, with a nasal voice. Without finesse in comedy her dialogue scenes fall flat, especially since her voice itself is flat and nonexpressive; she is far better as a physically expressive actress, especially in scenes in which she is attired the way Marilyn Monroe would have been. In fact, in another time, this would have been a perfect Monroe feature, and she would have been able to handle the comedy. Much more experienced co-star Schaech is quite good here, but there is a loophole in the screenplay that has the physically gorgeous actor strangely lame when it comes to women (the guy can't seem to get a date), though gay men find him attractive (maybe because the occupancy of the pool is slimmer pickings?). But even Schaech has no real funny moments, which means the direction is at fault, as a comedy requires a certain lightness which is missing here. He's also as an actor very talented, and certainly leading man attractive, but lacks the star quality of a big name movie star (Cruise, Roberts), which is why as a film actor he still falls below the radar (a fate shared until recently with actors'-actor Christian Bale "Batman"). Sometimes only a star's charisma can save a production. The only true hilarity in the film comes from the invented character of "Boris" (and it's over-the-top, neatly out of place in this film), a friend of the lead pretending to be a gay boyfriend so girl roommate will stop setting up pretend gay guy on gay dates. But not everything else is bad: there is some sweet bonding going on between the leads, their friendship, based upon a misconception (his being gay) which allows them to have a freedom to explore each other as people rather than potential romantic contrast. As well, he is able to feel relaxed around women in a way he's never been before: the conflict isn't there, as there is in normal straight woman-straight man sexual awareness. And the straight man pretending to be gay is interacting with more gay men, which also allows his own self-awareness and self-confidence to strengthen. The soundtrack is forgettable, except for a bar scene where the lead singer is impressive. But the screenplay doesn't know whether it wants to be a gentle comedic exploration of male-female bonding or should be more traditional comedy of errors, which involves more loud, outrageous happenings. So I'd recommend a rental on the film, rather than an outright purchase, unless you're a fan of either Eastwood or Schaech and require the personal copy to sit on your shelf. It will get watched, it's not a bad film, but it's not as good as it could have been: the screenplay was trying to do too many things and the direction was heavy-handed, and the film required a Monroe, and there doesn't seem to be one out there. (And I'm not a Monroe fan, so that says a lot from me.)

This was a cute movie. If you're looking for something deep and meaningful, this is not it. If you're looking for something lighthearted and entertaining, then it's definitely worth watching. I have several gay friends, so certainly enjoyed the humor in the movie. I've even had a crush on a gay friend and would have loved to have him tell me he wasn't really gay! In a way, this was kinda like watching my own fantasy play out! This was such an enjoyable movie that I'm definitely adding it to my collection.

this happens to be one of my favorite movies! ive seen it many times, and everytime i love it even more. Great story, and for most parts i think that this has in one way happned to all of us. you try to be someone your not to get something that you could have easily had if you were yourself! but each person has their own opinions and i LOVE this movie, and recomend any and everyone to watch it.

I finished "If you only Knew" with a smile on my face. Unlike the big bugdet, fomula commercial films out today, this film actually had heart, combined with a story that anyone who's ever cared about someone can relate to. Allison Eastwood, like her Pops, has real acting chops. The additional cast was right on target, bringing the film to a level you seldom see in an independent film. David Snedeker's direction rocked. His vision captured the essence of the story without being intrusive, cleverly using the camera as the tool of observation. Highly recommended, spend the three bucks.

Ever wonder what helped make your favorite comedian so funny? You need wonder no more when you see the Masters ( Abbott & Costello )at work, on a play on words. Your sure to laugh harder then you ever have before if you've never seen this Classic. If seeing it again, your going to laugh even harder when you catch the physical comedy you may have missed the first time you saw it. Old time comedy is seen every day on our T.V.'s, ask any of the top stars, and they will all mention Abbott & Costello, or this Classic routine. Whats in a name? That depends what base he's on. Did he make it to practice today? I Don't Know! HE was warming up bright & early this morning. If you still don't have a clue what I'm talking about, just sit back, and get ready to LAUGH, Till You Can't Stop!!!

Every so often I find a movie that absolutely holds my interest, even though it isn't a 5 star movie with lots of hype. This was one of those appealing movies. As for Allison Eastwood, I didn't realize who her father was. I thought she was quite good, and the love interest who pretended to be gay was darling. I laughed out loud several times. Only seeing the twin towers in the background of this New York-based movie was tugging on my heartstrings.

Hey look, It's pretty good for what it is. A nice romantic story .It works if you don't pick out every little detail.If you do, don't get it.I liked the soundtrack.

All I have to say is it was really funny! I watched it over and over again, laughing so hard, my sides started to hurt. I was funny!

How anyone could think that Alison Eastwood isn't absolutely beautiful and an excellent actress is beyond comprehension. They would "have" to be from another country not to see the truly american girl next door type that she protrayed. The movie is not only believable but well written and well acted by all. It made me fall in love all over again with my wife. When you're first dating you will do just about anything... even the strangest of things just to get close to the one that you love. "Parker" does just that and more. Although the sex could have been just a little bit more explicit (Who wouldn't love to see just a little bit more of Alison) The inuendo was fabulously funny. As for the tatto comment...exactly what kind of "girl" does it "have" to be to have a tatto? That comment was just too stupid for words. Stay in your own country and keep your comments to youself. This movie is simply American, romantic and funny.

Thank you for making a good, clean, hilarious film. It is rare that I can watch a movie without seeing the same old cheap, lude jokes. This one makes you laugh, think and I even got teary eyed (which is rare for me). Thanks again for an enjoyable evening.