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You Say More Than You Think: Use the New Body Language to Get What You Want!, the 7-day Plan [Hardcover]

Janine Driver , Mariska van Aalst
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (59 customer reviews)


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Book Description

February 16, 2010
Now You’re Talking!
Do you want to be bulletproof at work, secure in your relationship, and content in your own skin? If so, it’s more important than ever to be aware of what your body is saying to the outside world. Unfortunately, most of what you’ve heard from other body language experts is wrong, and, as a result, your actions may be hurting, not helping, you.
 
With sass and a keen eye, media favorite Janine Driver teaches you the skills she used every day to stay alive during her fifteen years as a body-language expert at the ATF. Janine’s 7-day plan and her 7-second solutions teach you dozens of body language fixes to turn any interpersonal situation to your advantage. She reveals methods here that other experts refuse to share with the public, and she debunks major myths other experts swear are fact: 

Giving more eye contact is key when you’re trying to impress someone.
Not necessarily true. It’s actually more important where you point your belly button. This small body shift communicates true interest more powerfully than constant eye contact.

The “steeple” hand gesture will give you the upper hand during negotiations and business meetings. Wrong. Driver has seen this overbearing gesture backfire more often than not. Instead, she suggests two new steeples that give you power without making you seem overly aggressive: the Basketball Steeple and the A-OK Two-Fingered Steeple.

Happy people command power and attention by smiling just before they meet new people.
Studies have shown that people who do this are viewed as Beta Leaders. Alpha leaders smile once they shake your hand and hear your name. 
 
At a time when every advantage counts—and first impressions matter more than ever—this is the book to help you really get your message across.


Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Starred Review. A former body-language specialist with the Department of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, Driver has put her life on the line more times than she can count, depending on her understanding of body language-how to read it and how to use it-to survive. Now a professional body-language trainer, Driver puts her lessons to paper with straightforward prose and easy-to-use methodology, intended to help readers break bad habits, overcome misleading assumptions, avoid blind spots, and project the kind of confidence they need for successful communication and/or negotiation. Offering a number of tips across a range of settings (business, romance, courtroom, etc.), Driver's advice will give readers immediate, effective results, such as a step-by-step guide to "Active Listening Head Moves": "Now try the head tilt with the double nod. Did the person speed up the conversation?" Sound examples (many drawn from her professional adventures), revealing exercises and self-tests, and a game sense of humor keep Driver's considerable expertise from overwhelming readers, making this an enjoyable and highly practical self-help.

Review

Starred Review, Publishers Weekly"Driver's advice will give readers immediate, effective results. Sound examples (drawn from her professional adventures), revealing exercises and self-tests, and a game sense of humor keep Driver's considerable expertise from overwhelming readers, making this an enjoyable and highly practical self-help."
--This text refers to the Paperback edition.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Crown Publishers; 1 edition (February 16, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0307453979
  • ISBN-13: 978-0307453976
  • Product Dimensions: 6.4 x 0.9 x 9.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (59 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #548,942 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

This was an informative and very easy read. scudco  |  12 reviewers made a similar statement
Janine's book is by far the best pick it up at any level read. M. Savvy  |  5 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
86 of 94 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
This book rocks with it's content and what it's teaching. I learned how to norm my boss and already asked for some great stuff! I love that. The Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes idea is great. She really breaks it down pretty well.

The BIG downside is she seems to have little respect for the readers time and finances. The first chapter says you need about 2 hours a day, for 7 days. I thought that was doable. But what I didn't expect was all the crazy suggestions: Buy a Nintendo, Go Skydiving, Sign up for Belly Dancing Lessons, Sign up for Salsa dancing, etc... Also if you were going to do this in 7 days and go to work, how would you get into any of the classes for find the time to go skydiving all within your "7 day makeover/"

She also mixes it up with home alone exercises and wome work out in public. I thought it would be more observation inside and out. But it requires: Staring at a painting at a museum for 30 Minutes for example... this takes at least an hour and I'm supposed to read and do 2-3 more exercises? Get a friend to come over and rollplay while you videotape, this one would take at least an hour... SO I find it's just not realisic or well thought out so I find that frusterating.

Bottom Line though, the content is good, just don't expect to be able to do her exercises the way she suggests unless you have a lot of extra cash and tons of free time...Oh and a video camera and friends that are available at the drop of a hat.
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116 of 138 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars A Selling Tool for Her Certification Course June 12, 2010
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
Let me begin by saying I have no skin in this game, as I am not hyping ANY OTHER book or Communication Improvement Skill course; I am merely giving a personal reaction to my interpretation of the written material as a mental health profession with over 35 years experience in the field.

The author makes many good points and the book is easy to read and follow with a fair number of black and white photos showing the before and after effect of each newly analyzed body language characteristic, but most disturbing is the continual encouragement to visit her official website [...]. I buy every book simply to be informed or entertained but not solicited. I am unsure how many agencies or companies would put great credence in a for-profit corporation issuing certifications. It has been my experience that most companies want job candidates and consultants to have degrees from established colleges/universities which are appropriately accredited. The book is full of first person testimonials from graduates of her course who proclaim miraculous reincarnations into far superior beings after taking the advertised course and after which they can lead their own groups, hopefully garnering some speaking engagements, as well. For an original and similar pep talk one can read Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People originally published many decades ago. It also has the same authoritarian flavor and doctrinaire game plan.

Many of the author's suggestion make a great deal of sense and are worth following, but in one instance she makes a great faux pas in stating that women wearing heels leads to an improvement in their posture.
... Read more ›
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16 of 19 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Infomercial in a book January 23, 2012
By Lee
Format:Paperback
Red flag alert... She's just a motivational speaker! I couldn't find any reviews on google for the author. Plenty to sell me her stuff. That's a red flag for me. Tools like reputation dot com block "non stellar" reviews, if you know what I mean. Tried to research her "institute", and ended up at a web site to sell me her 'stuff'. I'm outahere!
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars very enlightening April 19, 2012
By Joe
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
This is one of the better books I have read on body language. Research and background info is more in depth than most books. Visual examples are excellent and make concepts easier to understand.
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11 of 14 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars You Say More than you Think March 20, 2010
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
I watched Janine Driver on Oprah, where she gave many excellent examples of body language that we are not aware of. The book elaborates on her examples and so much more. For parents raising teenagers, and those in the business world, or even every day experiences, it is an excellent resource for being in tune with understanding both your own and body language of others. The author used to be a stand up comic, and she entertains us with many aspects of her subjects. They call her the "Lyin Tamer". Very clever and well written.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Mind Candy September 12, 2011
By sun
Format:Paperback
I came across this book while perusing the self-help section and purchased it out of pure curiosity. Little did I know that I would have a hard time putting it down! The book itself is literally a 7-Day plan, which I can only assume meant that it should be read in about 7 days time. However, my fiending curiosity would not allow me to put it down after only a chapter. I finished it in 3 days (unfortunate it took me so long, but I did have work). This book is total mind candy and you'll wonder how you never knew about the skills that you will aquire from it. I would recommend it to anyone who is curious about a whole new world that most of us never knew about, anyone who is frequenting the dating scene, or even to anyone who is just looking for a good read. You won't regre it!
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8 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars well written May 6, 2011
Format:Paperback
Well written, concise, well organised book detailing body language in seven sections with some exercises and personal anecdotes added in.

This book has a section on facial body language but mainly focuses on whole-body language. There are other books out there that focus on facial expressions more thoroughly but don't focus on whole-body language much or at all on.

For those interested in body language this is one of the must-have books, along with perhaps something from Paul Ekman who focuses more on facial expressions (Emotions Revealed or Unmasking the Face are good suggestions). The author of this book is less academic and perhaps covers less overall ground than Ekman but is arguably more readable for beginners, given how information is presented in a clear, easy to understand manner.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Intriguing
I enjoyed the read...fun perspective on such an interesting subject. fascinating to learn more about yourself and your impact on others.
Published 21 days ago by festus2012
3.0 out of 5 stars So far
So far the book as been pretty good. I am not head over heels about it but def some good pointers.
Published 1 month ago by Le Princess Eva
4.0 out of 5 stars Demanding but helpful
Some good exercises and points. Some of the websites referenced aren't available. It's hard, if not impossible, to do the exercises on the schedule she suggests. Read more
Published 1 month ago by LaDonna Greiner
5.0 out of 5 stars Love Janine Driver
I loved Janine's other book, "You Can't Lie to Me," so I bought this one too, to learn more about body language. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Lisa Chakerian
5.0 out of 5 stars See what you see
I found just what I wanted to know. Very helpful. Tells you about yourself, as much as others. Thank you.
Published 2 months ago by Mary Davis
5.0 out of 5 stars debate book
I heard her interviewed right before the presidential debates, haven't had time to read it yet, not much more to say
Published 2 months ago by JD
5.0 out of 5 stars Great!
Perfect condition, arrived before anticipated date, excellent price. I haven't started reading yet but am looking forward to it based on the reviews and her other book was... Read more
Published 4 months ago by Alli_S
3.0 out of 5 stars great content, horrible quality pics
If I could only rate the content, I would give this book ten stars! It pains me to give it three stars, but I truly hope that for the next edition the author/editor will give at... Read more
Published 4 months ago by aleksandra zhitneva
4.0 out of 5 stars You Say More Than You Think by Janine Driver
Interesting book on body language. I would have never guessed a simple standing position with my hands on top of the other would mean I'm anxious or I appear to be anxious to... Read more
Published 5 months ago by Peachums
5.0 out of 5 stars Eye opener
This was an eye opener for me. I am now more aware of my body language as well as others body language
Published 5 months ago by Lori Gibson
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