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You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up: A Love Story Paperback – February 8, 2011
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From Publishers Weekly
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
“This book is a must-read for couples and singles alike. Finally, a married couple that doesn't hide behind such tedious traits as personal loyalty, good taste, and an overall sense of decorum. You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up tells people what marriage is really like!”—Liz Tucillo, co-author of He’s Just Not That Into You and author of How to Be Single
“So funny because it is so accurate. Kahn and Gurwitch illuminate the insanity of marriage. They make you want to embrace your spouse for the same reason you want to strangle them.”—Ben Stiller
“Although after eleven and a half years of pure, uninterrupted marital bliss I don’t relate at all to the subject matter, I still found Jeff and Annabelle’s book to be hilarious.”—Judd Apatow
“As someone who has never married or ever understood why anyone would,would, I feel I can say with authority that this is the finest, funniest, most insightful book I’ve ever read about a subject I’m completely unqualified to comment about.”—Bill Maher
“The far right believes that marriage should only be one man plus one woman. But they are oh so wrong. Marriage should only be between two funny people, and Jeff and Annabelle are the shining examples of this new marriage movement.”—Carol Leifer
“Damn, marriage isn’t supposed to be this much fun! If anyone is going to save marriage, it won’t be James Dobson—it’ll be Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn.”—Barbara Ehrenreich, author of Nickel and Dimed
“Oh, now I get it. This whole sham of a marriage was not just for tax purposes, it was also to write and sell this immediately engaging book! I remember when Jeff first told me about Annabelle and the hazy, humid thermal cloud she wrapped his head in. I thought he was nuts. Turns out I was right (see pages 1–250). After reading this book, I feel sorry for both of them now. And that’s quite an accomplishment.”—David Cross, author of I Drink for a Reason
“He said tomato, she said shut up, and I took a Vicodin to ease the pain from laughing so hard.”
—Sandra Tsing Loh, author of Mother on Fire and A Year in Van Nuys
"We're just not that into us."--Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn
From the Hardcover edition.
Top Customer Reviews
If this isn't turned into a movie or tv show, Hollywood has no idea what they're doing. I hear that they may turn it into a two-person show. Based on the video they made to promote the book, I'd go see that play in a heatbeat.
The book is set up so each chapter is loosely organized by theme, such as pets, dating, childbirth, in-laws, etc. Either Annabelle or Jeff presents their view first (in short essay format), and then the other one follows. I really enjoyed the "getting both sides to the story" aspect of the book. It is also mostly in chronological order, so it is pretty easy to tell where they are in their relationship when they are discussing each theme. They deal with most things that any married couple would deal with, yet you also receive some interesting insights into the Hollywood/LA/creative profession culture that they both reside in.
Many of the essays are incredibly funny, and there are some that are also very touching when discussing a serious subject, such as the birth defects of their son. The book doesn't pretend that marriage is easy, but at the same time, you can tell that they really care about each other.
Additionally, I found this to be a fast-moving, easy read and perfect for those days when you only have time to read a few pages, because of the divided-eassay format.
The memoir is loaded with off-color humor, is brutally honest, sprinkled with crude material, and written by two people who are liberal agnostics. Each chapter ends with a page or so of cynical relationship trivia. There is a touching section which involves medical complications involving their child Ezra. Surprisingly, the last chapter is a heartfelt admiration for being married to the other. A positive testament to the quality of 'You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up' material is that many times I read out loud to my wife excerpts of the memoir and she ALWAYS broke out laughing. It is a light, fast read that is not suitable for people who easily take offense to criticism of religion, blunt sexual talk, and profanity.
First of all, it's not funny. Maybe it's because it's written by TV writers/actors, but the jokes are incredibly formulaic. For example, every other line would be something like this (I'm paraphrasing): "she told me to call her, but how could I trust her. She treated me so badly for five years. There's no way I could do that to myself. So I called her on the way home." Yep, say something emphatically, do the opposite action. Maybe it's funny when you're not expecting it and it happens once every twenty pages, but it's the same joke, over and over again here.
Secondly, as another post wrote, it's very narcissistic. Let's talk about the party where we met. Two accounts, "he said" and "she said." Let's talk about when we moved in together. Let's talk about our wedding. Let's talk about vacations. Let's talk about our arguments, every single one of them, and what annoys us. Wow...really? It's like having to see someone's vacation photos or wedding photos, but for their entire lives!
Third, there are typos. Yes, typos.
Fourth, there's a good amount of gross humor and cliches. Fart jokes. If you're into that, then go for it. I'm not. And cliches about men wanting more sex. The wife getting bothered by flirting on Facebook. Maybe they just were forcing material to fill the book, because sometimes it reads like that.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Uneven he-says / she-says memoir of a couple's courtship, marriage, and starting a family and all the quirks and foibles that come with the territory. Read morePublished 11 days ago by Nancy A
Like many books I have read, the early chapters are very interesting and draw me into the author's lives. Read morePublished 6 months ago by Johnnygogo
I bought this book because I was somewhat familiar with Annabelle. I found her husband as equally funny and personable as her. Their relationship starts cute and funny. Read morePublished 7 months ago by Jim
Marriage is hard work. Hard, hard work. No matter what anyone tells you, there is no true "happily ever after", as the two authors poignantly show in their humorous memoir... Read morePublished 9 months ago by dSavannah
I love this book. If you have been married a long time ...46 years for me...all the good...bad...and in between is stated with truth and humor. Thanks.Published 13 months ago by Harmony Mullen
There are some funny bits in the beginning... but later it gets boring, then weird. I thought it was going to be a humorous persptective on intimate relationship... Read morePublished 16 months ago by Stephen Sheridan