Customer Reviews

You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up: A Love Story

5 star:		(14)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Jeff Kahn and Annabelle Gurwitch got it right. Marriage is funny, it's tough, it's work, it's intimate, it's distant and a thousand other contradicting adjectives. While so many couples obsesses over the perfect wedding, how many really think about what it means to grow up and grow old with someone you are legally and emotionally bound to, good and bad, day after day? In today's post-feminist universe, is marriage even a sustainable union? Jeff and Annabelle open the Pandora's box, let us in and generously provide the reality check to what this institution holds in store, especially when two people genuinely love each other and want to be a part of the world. You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up should be THE mandatory reading to anyone and everyone who is even mildly considering one day saying, "I do."

Wow. I had expected this book to be funny: I'm a big fan of THE BEN STILLER SHOW and have read Gurwitch in the past (FIRED!) and seen her Showtime special. But, what I didn't expect was how true, poignant, moving this book turned out to be. Yes, it's a "warts and all," laugh-out-loud comedy book about marriage: the most dysfunctional marriage you've ever seen. But, it's also the story of two parents who love their son and (in their own bizarre way) each other very much.

If this isn't turned into a movie or tv show, Hollywood has no idea what they're doing. I hear that they may turn it into a two-person show. Based on the video they made to promote the book, I'd go see that play in a heatbeat.

This is one of the funniest, yet touching, books on marriage that I have ever read and I would recommend it to anyone who wants to read an honest book about marriage.

The book is set up so each chapter is loosely organized by theme, such as pets, dating, childbirth, in-laws, etc. Either Annabelle or Jeff presents their view first (in short essay format), and then the other one follows. I really enjoyed the "getting both sides to the story" aspect of the book. It is also mostly in chronological order, so it is pretty easy to tell where they are in their relationship when they are discussing each theme. They deal with most things that any married couple would deal with, yet you also receive some interesting insights into the Hollywood/LA/creative profession culture that they both reside in.

Many of the essays are incredibly funny, and there are some that are also very touching when discussing a serious subject, such as the birth defects of their son. The book doesn't pretend that marriage is easy, but at the same time, you can tell that they really care about each other.

Additionally, I found this to be a fast-moving, easy read and perfect for those days when you only have time to read a few pages, because of the divided-eassay format.

This is one of the most laser-precise books on marriage, sex, kids, LIFE that I have ever read. I laughed my ass off, then would suddenly get caught off-guard and find tears welling in my eyes. The laugh lines are abundant and so are the moving moments, especially with their son's diagnosis with VACTERL. iIt's a true honor that Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn would open their hearts up to us readers. A wonderful wonderful book. Highly recommend.

I loved this book!! It literally made me laugh out loud several times! It also gave a very real picture of what marriage is like. It made me feel better for having a somewhat dysfunctional, but still loving marriage. It made me find the humor in my everyday married life.

One note of caution, there is a lot of profanity in this book. If you don't like that, skip this book!

This was the best Valentine's Day gift I have ever gotten. If you and your partner have a sense of humor and like to laugh together I highly recommend this as a gift. And if I ever have the pleasure of getting together with Annabelle and Jeff, now that I know what they do with their oven mitts, I will certainly suggest we go out to eat.

`You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up' by Gurwitch / Kahn caught my eye because like many spouses I find myself in love with someone who equally fascinates & frustrates me. My typical reading involves history or politics so I was looking for a break from that and possibly ideas on dealing with spouse differences (OK, to be fair - for validation that my way of thinking is superior, LOL). The `his versus her' layout of the book held my attention & one night I couldn't stifle my laughs & did wake my husband of 24 years. He's long been used to me reading after the house is asleep; that respite of book lovers & harried spouses / parents. As a woman of similar age, I can definitely relate to Annabelle's thought processes and behaviors while simultaneously relating to Jeff's sarcastic wit as they take on daily married life & how they've evolved through sharing space, work, sex, & raising a child, etc. I recommend this book for anyone who loves their spouse while also acknowledging that same person at times drives them crazy. Successful couples know that love can transcend the hardships & absurdities of life but it's the ability to laugh at ourselves & each other - the use of humor to cope that may be the secret to wedded longevity. I sincerely wish both authors continued success in their marriage, parenting and careers and look forward to any possible future book collaborations. (Lori Hypes Griswell)

I really enjoyed the book. I thought it was very well written. I particularly liked Jeff's piece at the end about growing old with his wife. I think that should be published as a separate essay on love and growing old together.

When I bought this book I just wanted a laugh. I was vaguely aware of Annabelle Gurwitch and had absolutely no idea who Jeff Kahn was. By the end of the book, I found that I'd like to have them both as friends (as long as my kid didn't play baseball for Coach Kahn). The narrative alternates between Annabelle and Jeff's points of view and tells how this Hollywood couple met, married, had a child, and where they are now.

The honesty in this book was very refreshing, and I think it will resonate with parents of young children. The humor was uneven but well-worth it for the gems that turned up. And Jeff needs to learn some synonyms for a certain area of a female's anatomy. I'm not offended by the language used but it just got repetitive. In contrast to another reviewer who found his sections unamusing, I thought they were both hilarious. It's easy to see why they've made it as far as they have in their marriage.

I bookmarked several sections of the book for my husband, particularly in regard to Annabelle's apparent difficulties in opening cardboard boxes and other packaging--this is a common complaint in my household as well. The writing about their son Ezra was just completely love-soaked and touching. I have no doubt that this loving couple's innate humor helped them through some very challenging times.

The book isn't perfect, but it's a nice, amusing read.

Hilarious, touching and more than a little bit twisted, Annabelle and Jeff's book is a multi-level memoir about the journey that has made up their relationship. Both the difficulties and the victories they have faced - as individuals, as a couple, and as parents - are recounted in a candid memoir that doesn't hesitate to go places where other books would fear to tread. And the best bonus? The hilarious stories that unexpectedly provide a punchline in each chapter, whether it's "A Tale of Two Kitties" or the parenting group that wasn't as normal as it appeared at first glance. As parents, Jeff and Annabelle are both absolutely devoted to their son, Ezra, born in 1998 with complications but thanks to their parenting and some amazing doctors, doing incredibly well today.

While this book definitely has its share of raunchy and hilarious stories, it's also touching and personal as well. Would make a great gift for the married (or newlywed!) couple with a good sense of humor.