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If You Stay (Beautifully Broken Book 1) [Kindle Edition]

Courtney Cole
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (701 customer reviews)

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Book Description

A New York Times and USA Today Bestseller....


24-year old Pax Tate is an asshole.

Seriously.

He's a tattooed, rock-hard bad-boy with a bad attitude to match.
But he's got his reasons.

His mother died when Pax was seven, leaving a hole in his heart filled with guilt although he doesn't understand why. What he does know is that he and his dad are left alone and with more issues than they can count.

As Pax grew up, he tried to be the kid his father always wanted; the perfect golden boy, but it didn't work. His dad couldn't overcome his grief long enough to notice and Pax couldn't keep up the impossible perfect façade.
So he slipped far, far from it.

Now, he uses drugs and women to cope with the ugliness, the black void that he doesn't want to deal with. If he pretends that the emptiness isn't there, then it isn't, right?
Wrong.

And it's never more apparent than when he meets Mila.

Sweet, beautiful Mila Hill is the fresh air to his hardened frown, the beauty to his ugly heart. He doesn't know how to not hurt her, but he quickly realizes that he'd better figure it out because he needs her to breathe.

When memories of his mother's death resurface from where he's repressed them for so long, Mila is there to catch him when the guilt starts making sense. Mila is the one...the one who can save him from his broken troubled heart; from his issues, from the emptiness.

But only if he can stop being an asshole long enough to allow it.

He knows that. And he's working on it.

But is that enough to make her stay?

**Please note: If You Stay contains mature subject matter such as drug use and sexual situations. It is intended for mature audiences.**


Editorial Reviews

Review

"...You should go grab this book asap."
thereaddicts.blogspot.com

"If you've ever loved someone unconditionally, in spite of their problems, read this book."
Just Bookin' Around

"5 stars - Love this bad boy who's heart is pure gold!"
Obsession With Books, obsessionwithbooks.blogspot.com

About the Author

Courtney Cole is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author who lives near Lake Michigan with her family.  She's always working on her next project... or staring dreamily out her office window.  To learn more about her, please visit courtneycoleauthor.com

Product Details

  • File Size: 439 KB
  • Print Length: 352 pages
  • Publisher: Lakehouse Press (February 7, 2013)
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00BD9HOY2
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #433,764 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
  •  Would you like to give feedback on images?.


Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
89 of 97 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars LOVED LOVED LOVED this book!!!!!! February 9, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition
First, I have to say a HUGE THANK YOU again to Courtney Cole for providing me an ARC copy of her book. I was lucky enough to win an autographed copy in one of her contest and to say I was excited is an understatement!!

I LOVED Pax. He immediately grabs at your heart strings. He is broken and makes you want to fix him. He is sexy as hell too! And oh, some of the things he says and does in the book! There are a few favorites I have. One is nude painting. Then there is the big bad wolf. And one of my favorite lines..

"You've seen me at my worst. Maybe you should see me at my best."
"When are you at your best?"
"In bed."

But Pax is far from perfect. He is a seriously f'ed up individual. He uses drugs and women to numb the emptiness he feels. But I will give him credit for being honest about it. Make no mistake, he is in your face honest and makes no apologies for it.

Mila is the light in Pax's dark world. From the moment he meets her, he begins to make some serious changes in his life. At first, she is scared to pursue whatever this thing between them is. She knows about the drugs and women, she has seen both up close and personal, and is scared of what a relationship with Pax would mean for her.

I loved the chemistry between Pax and Mila. I read so many stories where there is this instant attraction between the characters and it jut doesn't seem believable. I am not sure if it was the circumstances in which Pax and Mila meet or not, but I could feel the connection with them. And I appreciated the fact that she wasn't trying to fix him. She wanted him to be the one to fix himself. I think that was important because anyone in Pax's situation has to want to make changes in order for them to stick.
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20 of 22 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars It was good. February 12, 2013
By SK
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
It was hard to like Pax, the bad-boy-trust-fund slacker, when we first meet him. On the very first page, he's strung out on coke and pills and JD and a girl whose name he can't remember is giving him a BJ in his car. Mila finds him shortly thereafter, OD'ing in his car and saves his life. Truthfully, I give her huge props because I don't know how she did CPR with orange vomit all over him. Ugh!

So you'd think after this, he'll have an epiphany of some kind and become worthy of Mila but he doesn't. In fact, his behavior doesn't get much better for a while. It was pretty off-putting to me. It wasn't really clear what Mila saw in him. He was totally hot--she kept saying how beautiful he was. But it didn't seem like that was enough for good-girl Mila to give such a total screw-up a shot (more than once).

Anyway, if we choose to ignore the implausibility of that, the rest is okay. Each chapter switches back and forth between their perspectives, which I always like, and was well done here. Their relationship progresses pretty well, sex scenes are good without being as medically detailed as in some books. I even thought the disclosure and handling of Pax's past was done realistically and in an exciting way. That chapter was definitely a page-turner. Though his recovery seemed somewhat quick. Of course, it was a short book (only 85% of the kindle file is this book--don't know what that translates to in pages). So I guess they had to wrap things up.

It was a quick read, I read it in a few hours. But it seemed like something was missing. I'm not sure what it was--but there were very few characters. I came away with the impression that this small town was actually minuscule.
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21 of 27 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Love Pax February 9, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition
I have read every single book that Courtney Cole has written and loved every single one of them. If you Stay tops the list, hands down. I was excited when she decided to start writing NA and fell in love with Pax immediately. He's not your typical book boyfriend. You know the one you fall for immediately because he sweeps the girl off her feet. I fell in love with Pax from the beginning even when he was an ass. I think that's part of the draw to him. The bad boy who uses to cope and hides behind the façade of being an douche, but the thing is like Mila saw there's always something amazing hiding underneath.
This book was raw and emotional. Absolutely perfect not to mention something completely new and unexpected from Courtney Cole, I LOVE IT!

"Even when I can count on nothing else, I can always count on this."

We are introduced to Pax in a pretty effed up state. He's getting busy in his car with some chick he doesn't remember her name till later on. Mila stumbles upon him at the worst time but the best possible time as well. She happens to save his life. Pax doesn't think he's good enough for Mila and Mila thinks Pax is going to break her heart. But they both take the chance. They plunge into the unknown with open arms because their attraction only intensified.
"The stars twinkle overhead, the lake is soundless and calm to our left

and for the first time in as long as I can remember, I feel like I'm home."

So what do they do? They date. It a beautiful disaster but a learning process for the both of them. Pax is starting to have nightmares and Mila wants to do whatever it takes to help him. So what happens? Does Pax get passed his coping mechanisms? Can Mila learn to trust Pax enough to know he won't her...again?
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars PAX AND MILA
A very moving story when Mila saved Pax and they fell in love despite the horrors that was Pax. A raw but gentle love story that you will enjoy reading over again. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Kindle Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Pax & Mila
Pax is a HOT,SEXY,RICH,ALPHA MALE, who gets what he wants. And drug addict. Mila is a sweet,caring,understanding,loving,helps others before herself artist shop owner. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Danielle
5.0 out of 5 stars but I like stuff like that
This was a very dark, angst-filled novel, but I like stuff like that. Pax's mom died when he was 7, and he's turned to drugs, alcohol and women to fill that void all these years. Read more
Published 2 months ago by mrs_goatman
5.0 out of 5 stars ' Beautiful
One of my favorites !' Beautiful book
Published 2 months ago by Danielle Darrigo
4.0 out of 5 stars wow
Went unreasonably fast at some points, but it was amazing nonetheless. I was very happy with this wonderful book. ☺️
Published 2 months ago by Natalie Velasco
5.0 out of 5 stars good one, keeps you interested
good one , keeps you interested
Published 2 months ago by sarah
5.0 out of 5 stars Love love love this book
Love love love this book!!! Couldn't put it down! Finished it in 2 days found myself ordering the next book right after finishing it! If You Leave, just as good! Must read!!!
Published 3 months ago by sam
5.0 out of 5 stars A+++ This has something for EVERYONE!!!!
I absolutely loved this book and that's high praise from someone who is extremely picky and rarely rates anything 5! Read more
Published 3 months ago by Kim M.
5.0 out of 5 stars heartwrenching....
That is the only word I can use to describe this book. It is such an emotional ride. Grab your tissues and get ready to find it impossible to put down.
Published 4 months ago by Karen
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved.it
by far the best book I've read in a while. I felt the characters had depth and were easy to relate with and fall in love with. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Krista Ballou
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More About the Author

Courtney Cole is a New York Times and USA Today Bestselling novelist who would rather write than eat chocolate. She holds a Bachelor's degree in Business, but no amount of working in the corporate world could quell her urge to write.

Courtney was born and raised in Kansas, home of incredibly friendly people and the most horrendous weather on the planet. Because summer days were so hot, she grew up reading stacks of books... and when she didn't like the ending, she wrote her own.

Courtney has relocated to Florida where she writes beneath palm trees. To learn more about her, please visit her website, www.courtneycolewrites.com To sign up for her newsletter and receive exclusive sneak peeks and super-fan perks, go here: http://smarturl.it/CourtneyColeEmail

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