Customer Reviews

You Suck - A Love Story

5 star:		(76)
4 star:		(62)
3 star:		(25)
2 star:		(10)
1 star:		(8)

 

 

In You Suck, Christopher Moore returns to the characters who made him famous nearly a decade earlier in his absurdist vampire tale Bloodsucking Fiends. Young newbie vampire couple Jody and C. Thomas Flood are still in the Bay Area, trying to move out of town after imprisoning the 800 year-old-vampire Elijah Ben Sapir in a bronze cast to keep him out of the way. The Animals from Thomas's old stockboy days are still causing trouble, this time with a Vegas call girl of expensive tastes whose skin is dyed blue.

The highlight of the novel is the new character Abby Normal, a moody teenage vampire wannabe who identifies Thomas's otherworldly nature in a drugstore and becomes his minion. Abby is refreshingly naive and eager-to-please as she speaks in gothic prose with her Dark Lord and his Countess Jody. The most winning chapters are told in her gangster/Olde English/squealing teenage voice from her diary.

As a longtime fan, I'm disappointed in Moore's latest effort. The biggest failing is that it is entirely without a plot. The book's entire premise is "a sequel to Bloodsucking Fiends," and one must wonder what kind of cash Moore got from his publishers to take the task on. The only driving force is Jody and Thomas's need to leave San Francisco after promising the homicide cops from the first book that they would do so. The hijinks of the novel center on this flimsy premise, and the effort falls flat. No longer are the absurd situations, darkly humorous banter, and bloodlust perks of great fiction; rather, they are all this novel has, and even the banter gets tiring. Jody and Thomas are constantly "fighting" and making up. Abby Normal is the saving grace of the novel, but even she can't carry it all on her own.

Moore fans will delight in the return of the old detective pair from Bloodsucking Fiends and Practical Demonkeeping, as well as a cameo by Charlie Asher of A Dirty Job. Newbies should definitely choose the masterpiece Lamb as a first Moore work, and then try out his vampire works.

Christopher Moore treats us to stereotyped outlandish and hilarious human (and vampire) behavior. The main characters are all budding comedians with a streetwise flair - one grows to appreciate the extravagant neurotic nuances of each personality. There are many large reality stretches, but we ARE talking vampires.

If you appreciate your limitations (daytime, feeding urges), it's not too bad being a vampire:

*superpowers - superhot redhead Jody feels a newfound freedom to roam the streets at night wearing very little, despite juvenile catcalls by potentially threatening testosterone-ridden gawker-groups. Safety worries? - not a problem, a nice one to shed. "She slipped comfortably into the new slot the night had made for her, like tumblers of a lock slipping into place."

*enhanced senses - as in Gibson's "What Women Want," there is far more to be ascertained about people you meet when you are from the world of the undead.

*sex - every event is the incredible best.

Perhaps the best character is Abby Normal, the hip-hop goth queen who wants to be "taken" to the other world and becomes the vampires' minion. She's "not inclined to use hip-hop vernacular often, but there are times when, like French, it just better expresses the sentiment of the moment." As in his other books, the high spots are the saucy dialogues between characters.

This is only my 4rth CM book and I'm on my way to becoming an addict. "You Suck" is a winner.

Have you ever been reading a book and completely loved it, only to have the author make a boneheaded twist in the plot and you went from loving the book to hating it? Unfortunately, that is what happened with this book. This book started off so well - the first words in the book are: "You bitch, you killed me! You Suck!" This book is a sequel to Bloodsucking Fiends. Our hero is Tommy Flood, known by his pen name C. Thomas Flood.

In the previous book, he was in love with a vampire, a tall sultry red- head who woke up one day a vampire, and Tommy was in love with her and her protector. This book begins with Tommy waking up and he is now a vampire also. At first he thinks it is cool. But his conscience gets the best of him. He likes the power, and the greater abilities, but he does not like the taking of life, or even just taking blood.

This book also overlaps with Moore's A Dirty Job. The focus of this story is the changing life of Thomas Flood and his girlfriend Jody, and there is a second parallel story of Abby Normal, vampire wannabe, who is a servant of the vampire flood. She fetches coffee, finds new lairs and such.

It's hard to write a hate-it review, when what you hate is the ending of the book, without spoiling it for those who are reading it or will read it. But I can state with all sincerity, that of all of Moore's books, this is not more fun, it is not more entertaining and it is not more Moore. It was in fact far, far less.

Like most of Moore's books, this one is at times incredibly witty and always funny. But without spoiling the ending, the last chapter makes me hate this book. There are so many other ways he could have ended the book, yet he chose a cheap and easy way out. The end of this book is so poor that you regret having spent the time and effort reading it. What should have been a light fun romp through the nightlife of San Francisco, becomes a flop because of the ending.

(First Published in Imprint 2007-03-02 as 'Hate It' from the 'Love it/Hate it' book review column.)

"You Suck" is the much-anticipated sequel to Christopher Moore's most popular novel, "Bloodsucking Fiends." This book picks up right where the last one left off. C. Thomas Flood wakes up and discovers that his vampire girlfriend, Jody, has turned him into a vampire as well. Both of them need to get acclimated to vampire life, although Jody does have slightly more experience than Tommy. Together, the couple must secure blood to drink, acquire a new apartment, and hire a minion to do their bidding. They end up with 16-year-old Abby, a goth chick who is slightly obsessed with the undead, but actually turns out to be a pretty decent minion. It's a good thing Jody and Tommy have Abby in their corner, because it turns out that the guy who turned Jody into a vampire is on the loose (and super pissed off). Also, Tommy's former colleagues, the Animals, have spent all their money on an exotic blue prostitute (named Blue), and now they're out for revenge. Blue the Smurf-like hooker eventually turns into a vampire as well, and life (well, the afterlife) really does start to suck for poor Jody and Tommy.

I really enjoyed this book. Moore is absolutely hilarious, and his books are some of the most original novels out there. "You Suck" has everything from gigantic shaved cats to blood-laced mocha lattes: very funny stuff! For me, I thought the overall plot of the book wasn't as strong as "Bloodsucking Fiends." Moore had more than a decade to work on this sequel, so I expected a bit more in terms of actual storyline. Still, fans of the first vampire book will not be disappointed.

I really enjoyed this book, I read through it rather fast, which is okay, but that means it is a page turner. The characters were spot-on and there's some great humour spread through the book. I really love Christopher Moore's ability to write so comically about such a serious subject. I recommend this book for vampire lovers, and people who hate vampires as well.

Elijiah begat Jody. Jody begat Tommy. Tommy begat Blue. Not by birth, but by bite. The begatting still granted life, but it's eternal life - with special powers. Elijiah, eight hundred and seventeen years old, is a vampire of long experience. Taking up with the young woman, he tutors her in the ways of the undead. He overlooks Jody's resourcefulness, however, and becomes a statue. With Elijiah immobilised, she is free to choose her own consort. Tommy, a naive Midwesterner from Incontience, Indiana proves an inspired choice. They're young, in love, and in trouble. For one thing, the police know who, and what, they are.

Christopher Moore's inventiveness has become nearly legendary. His books may be labelled "fantasy" only under the broadest definition. Set in contemporary environments, his stories leave you looking askance at your neighbours and friends. Just who is that teen in the bizarre dress and make-up? Is she just protesting against normal values, or is she bearing a hidden agenda. "Abby Normal", who slowly takes over this story, is but eight centuries younger than Elijiah. Her own ingenuity builds through the story as she interacts with a succession of "dark lords", the Countess, her mother and the "cops". The "p" is derisively inflected, of course - she has little time for such 'tarded people.

Vampires have special problems, of course. Once transformed, the diet is blood. Regular food, coffee or even plain water brings a violent intestinal reaction. To acquire the blood means hunting. Humans, animals such as rats since this is The City - even insects when times are hard. A trip to the zoo is not out of the question, but thirst must be enhanced by talent, or the vampire entering the cage may not come out intact. Their time is night, since daylight can vaporise them. It's a busy schedule all around, made intense by the knowledge that they are hunted. Sometimes even by their own kind.

Moore's placing the story in San Francisco brings the enhancement of dripping fogs, shady waterfronts, and Safeway stores. Tommy works at a Safeway as a night manager. His stocking and shelving crew are the Animals, a motley group who've made a killing of their own. On a trip to Las Vegas, the Animals acquired a hooker painted blue all over and bring her back to San Francisco. Moore manages to paint the characters with finesse and audacity as he leads them through their personal destinies. Wholly fantastic, yet he keeps them all real enough to hold your attention with every short chapter. Character development is his genius and he applies it here with meticulous care. There's not an individual here for most of us to identify with, or even sympathise over. Yet, there you will sit, turning pages to learn how he resolves the complexities he's created for your enjoyment. [stephen a. haines - Ottawa, Canada]

Before I start, I should say that Christopher Moore's books are, as an entire group, in my top ten, all-time most enjoyable reads. In fact, I have just finished re-reading most of them. It was great to go back and find characters he uses over and over and link the old versions to their new situations. Detective Rivera has been through a lot! (Hey Chris, Howabout updating the adventures of Tucker Case???)

"You Suck" is, of course, a sequel to "Blood Sucking Fiends" and takes us further with the lovable characters, Tommy and Jody as well as The Emperor and his men and the Animals. The addition of Abby Normal to the cast was great inspiration. Her diary entries are too much fun. I suggest you take the time to re-read "BSF" before you read "You Suck" just for fun and to make it seem like a longer book - Chris's books are never long enough.

Keep writing Christopher Moore, you are one of the few authors I buy in hardback, simply because I can't wait for the paperback.

By the way, it's fun to carry a Christopher Moore book around with you. The titles are a great conversation starter.

Christopher Moore sets the bar high with his writing. Very few books written these days are laugh out loud funny. When I read Mr. Moore's LAMB, I got thrown out of more places and had more strange looks on airplanes because I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes. Then my son read it (and laughs very loud). FLUKE was close.

YOU SUCK, the sequel to BLOODSUCKING FIENDS, passed the laugh out loud test in a couple of places. YOU SUCK follows former minion C. Thomas Flood, newly converted to a vampire, and his girlfriend, the now forever fabulous red-head Jody (who turned Flood into a vampire and was recently converted herself) as they try to figure out this undead thing.

But the laugh out loud pieces come when Moore turns the narrative over to "Abby Normal", the 16 year old goth/perky female minion chosen by Flood to do the vampires daylight bidding. Her diary narrative makes me think that Moore was a 16 year old goth/perky female in another life! And Blue, the aging Vegas hooker who dyes herself blue as a gimmick, has some good lines as well.

The ending is rather convenient, leaves it open for another sequel. The plot here isn't as compelling as LAMB or FLUKE. But it's a fun read. Read BLOODSUCKING FIENDS first though to get the background on all of the characters. Some of the characters from DIRTY JOB get looped in (as Mr. Moore always does in his writing) but they are minor so that book is not necessary to read before this one.

They're Ba-accckkkkkkkkkkk ....

You fell in love with them in Bloodsucking Fiends. You felt a little trill of excitement when Jody dropped by A Dirty Job. Now they're back, and they are suckier than ever. (In the good sucking way!)

Besides having a book cover that is a blast to walk through the airport with, You Suck provides many laugh out loud moments. A fast-paced read with characters we know and love, and the added benefit of Abby, a wanna-be goth with a twist. You Suck is another fun-filled foray through a carefully contructed alternate San Francisco which is as beloved, and uniquely Moore, as Pine Cove.

You Suck ... you know, just doesn't.

Nicole Del Sesto, author of All Encompassing Trip

I've been reading Chris Moore ever since his first book came out (Practical Demonkeeping). I've been a huge fan of his since then. The stories were great, the humor was sharp and would sometimes totally take you off guard. I remember having to be careful about reading "Bloodsucking Fiends" in public because a couple of times I laughed out loud before I could catch myself. The characters were carefully thought out, so was the plot.

That was back when Moore was trying, I guess.

Now, his handlers have told him to write faster, and it really shows. The current books aren't nearly the quality of the previous ones, and I'm really sorry to say that.

Even worse, though, I think that Moore found his niche and he's writing to it. He got his audience who love the freaky parts of his stories (the twisted humor and the kinky stuff), and those were a lot of fun. But. How can I say this? It's like frosting on a cake. It's great. But he discovered that people like the frosting, and now that's really ALL he does. Be honest and go back and look at his books. The characterizations? Far more shallow (you can say they're good enough, but compared to his old books, these characters are 2D). The humor? It never catches me off guard, because it's.... so.... constant... so... uniform.... Is it because the author has become jaded, or cynical, or just rushed? I dunno. But it makes me sad. There wasn't anybody who could do stories like the old Moore. Now, they just seem to be coming from an extra-clever 14 year old.

It seems to be working well for him though. I used to be frustrated because I never saw his stuff in the bookstores. Now it's always there. Kind of ironic. When he was great, you couldn't find his stuff. Now that he's become mediocre, it's everywhere. Oh well. Oh well. It's all frosting, no cake. After awhile, it starts to get to be too much, if you're a grownup. Which Moore _used_ to be...

But seriously, people. You can tell me you liked the book. And I'll say "Good for you." But it's not his best. Not by a great leap and a bound. Bloodsucking Fiends, for example, The cleverness of the title "Bloodsucking Fiends - A Love Story." It's subtle, catches the imagination. "You Suck"? I figure it took about 1/100th of the effort coming up with the title. That lack of effort is seen everywhere in this story. Now, let me just go find my old copy of "The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove"....