Customer Reviews

You-Turn: Changing Direction in Midlife

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I have just finished reading You Turn, Changing Direction in Midlife, written by Dr. Nancy Irwin and I am feeling encouraged and hopeful.

I loved this book. Written in a down to earth, concise and in a highly entertaining manner, the author has gathered people from all walks of life and asked them to detail the changes that they decided to make at the mid-point in their lives.

This fine collection of true stories will help you take a closer look at who you are, where you are at and where you want to go. This book could not have came at a better time. Many of us, in our mid-forties, are asking ourselves some serious and hard questions. Although our parents believed in the slow, stead and secure path, our generation appears to be the generation of change - and I, for one, have embraced this new outlook on life.

You Turn, Changing Direction in Midlife encourages and motivates you with stories of hope and infuses you with a 'can do' attitude. Yes, change is scary, but it can also feed your soul and make life worth living. I particularly enjoyed the stories in which the average person gave up their everlasting quest to make money and decided to start giving back to society. I found these stories to be the most inspirational.

I encourage anyone who is tired of their current life (and lifestyle) to pick up this book and read it from cover to cover and then to go back and re-read the stories that touched you the most - I am willing to bet you will be inspired to make some changes

Frankly, this book didn't impress me in the slightest. The stories read like biographical articles submitted to your local newspaper, and with few exceptions, I wouldn't say they are inspiring. It's debatable whether many of these people improved their lives or simply changed them. Of course, the subtitle is: "Changing Direction in Midlife". I think it can be assumed that most people hope to read inspiring stories of down-and-out folks who really turned it around and became ultra-successful. This isn't necessarily the case here. For instance, one of these so-called success stories can simply be summarized as:

A middle-aged woman with nearly-grown children finally got tired of her over-controlling husband and realized that she would be much happier as a lesbian.

Another story, once again submitted by an anonymous author, is about a male pedophile in his 40's, that after much prison time has finally learned to cope with and keep his desires for young boys under control, so much so that he became the head of an organization that helps these people. Once again, not exactly the sort of stuff that makes you say, "I want to be like that guy!"

This book is basically bland, and I think the majority of us could tell stories of our own turn-arounds that would be equally or more impressive.

If you really want to be inspired by success stories AND get a lot of truly helpful "here's how I did it" information, I would recommend skipping this book and instead reading "Founders at Work".

In the directional changes of life, Dr. Nancy Irwin has a very unique perspective on the twists and turns under flashing yellow lights and unmarked forks in the road.

A Los Angeles-based psychotherapist, she had trained to be an opera singer in her native Atlanta and then pursued a career as a stand-up comedian in New York. But it was volunteer work in a shelter for sexually-abused children which brought new direction in her life, including the successful pursuit of a doctorate in psychology.

Dr. Irwin not only discusses her map on life, but chronicles the oftentimes rugged routes of more than 40 others - from all walks of life - who are over the age of 40. The book is split into two sections; change by default (injury, break-up, lay-off) and change by choice (boredom, lack of fulfillment).

There is a convicted crack-cocaine dealer who became a successful entrepreneur in real estate, a mother of nine who started a foundation for those afflicted with leprosy, a monk who uses his gift of oratory to help others as a motivational speaker and a man who became a spouse and parent after striding past the age of 40.

The stories are empowering for those who may place barriers on progress when their age seems to be an overwhelming number or simply enjoyable for readers who want to understand or appreciate the sharp angles taken by those in the high-speed lane on the super-speedway of life.

In the modern world, opportunities abound, and most of the time we do see them, albeit from a self-imposed distance. The difficulty is to see the circumstances as an opportunity to be taken rather than to force yourself to be comfortable with the devil you know. A common theme that runs throughout these stories of people over 40 taking control of their destiny is their realization that their fear was the main hurdle.
That fear was what was coloring their vision so that the devil that they did not know appeared to be far more formidable that it actually was. When the person relating their story reached the point where they could control their fear and see things as they are, a sense of empowerment led them to achieve things that they earlier had not thought possible.
These stories are especially significant in the current employment situation. It is unfortunate that the current work environment at so many places is such that employers are emboldened to mistreat their employees, believing that the employees have no alternative. Therefore, the more people who discover that there are alternatives and take advantage of them, the better the work environment will be for all people.

Sorry, but Dr. Nancy Irwin's book is a total waste of time. There's absolutely nothing new that hasn't been covered in other self-help books for the last 20 years, and unfortunately, the book's 40 stories are almost always just a pitch for other self help consultants, life coaches, and marketers.

The other strange thing is that the book is supposed to be about changing direction in midlife but many of the individuals writing the stories found their paths in their 30s. This makes many of the stories irrelevant for the target audience. Yes, there are over 40 stories from people now over 40, but very few of those are truly representative of actual middle-aged people who made a huge directional change. In the current economic meltdown I suspect many actual middle-aged people simply won't have the economic capacity to redirect radically. I've been an executive career counselor and a small business entrepreneur and I haven't found that many successes of people who didn't have significant financial capability for their transition. It doesn't mean it won't happen, but it will be extremely difficult in the current environment.

Pros:
* I suppose if you've never read a self-help book and need to be encouraged this might be of interest. Also there is a significant component of shifting careers into community service, which might prompt some out of the box thinking in some people.

Cons:

* Misleading title.
* The author actually didn't write the book as far as I can tell since the stories seem to be told by others. She supposedly a "PhD", but as far as I can tell there's nothing in the book or on the web that discloses her academic background. She's a pre-licensed psychologist, whatever that means. She might be a good hypnotherapist, but there's nothing in the book relating to that expertise.
* There's large religious component in the stories that isn't disclosed on the front or back cover, and I find that a turnoff.

So I'd say steer clear of this book and find the work of someone else more qualified. I'd recommend Jack Canfield for much better work on similar topics.

If you are at or slightly beyond the age of forty, then you may already be aware of the phenomenon known as the mid-life crisis: A time which many middle- aged individuals reflect on their present condition and try to determine whether or not their lives are on- track or whether a serious upheaval is needed to reach goals, both new and old. For some, present conditions are just fine. For others, life is not the way they had envisioned it would be and while the individuals in this latter group know well that things could be better, many lack the initiative and/or courage to make a change.

You Turn is a book about people who have faced their mid-life crisis and mustered up the courage to make a change for the better. There are a total of forty- three personal stories in this book and they vary widely from one person to the next. Some individuals found that quitting their job and starting their own business was the key to happiness. For others, the important move was getting out of a bad marriage. For others still, the change involved a radical shift in careers or a better work/family balance. Whatever the reason, these forty- three people knew their life wasn't right. They weren't necessarily experiencing the midlife equivalent of a train derailment (some were that way, but most were not), but they knew that life could certainly be better and they knew the only way to solve the problem was to stop complaining and take action.

What I like best about this book is that it includes stories from people from all walks of life. The book doesn't have an agenda, per se. I have read similar books that seem generic/neutral on their face, only to discover that the personal stories are all geared in the same direction, like all geared toward starting one's own company or all geared toward becoming more spiritual. You Turn is different. It offers success stories from people who had different needs and desires and there is almost certain to be a story contained in this book that every person can relate to. I have not experienced any midlife crisis, but I still found myself looking for a story in this book that was similar to my own situation. I found a few, and while the career move these individuals made were not similar to something I would want to do, the people involved had backgrounds similar to my own and I could empathize with the way they felt.

Some books like You- Turn offer no organization at all, but this book does offer some order to its stories, making it easier to find the ones that matter to different readers. Part II includes stories from people who were forced to change whether they liked it or not due to an extraordinary life event. When a major event forces one to change, the reaction and the results are often quite unique and the fifteen individuals who experienced life changes like these are presented together in one section so that the reader can discover how different people responded to a similar situation. Part III includes people who made changes because they wanted to, and this is the section that will most closely reflect the life situations faced by the majority of people who read the book. It is nice that these individuals were presented in their own section because, once again, change that is self- initiated is much different than change that is required or forced and it is interesting to see how different people handle this type of situation.

Overall, You- Turn is a very good book about changing direction in mid-life and many of the stories offered are well- written and inspiring. Dr. Nancy Irwin deserves credit not only for assembling together such a diverse set of stories but also for managing her own midlife crisis and coming through with flying colors. It makes for some very good reading and it will resonate very strongly with readers in the forty to fifty- year age group who are feeling dissatisfied with their career and/or personal life and need some guidance on where to turn next.

"...a you-turn... is a complete reversal in opinion, action or policy. When you embrace a you-turn into your life, you set in motion a self-fulfilling prophecy of empowerment and possibilities".

Dr. Irwin has done an outstanding job creating a delightful book that will truly help people in midlife find the next step in their life journey. With the authors own professional advice in the first chapter of the book and a follow up summary at the end, along with the forty stories contributed by people over forty that have made huge successful life changes in heir own lives, there is somethng for everyone. You will find a story to relate to in this book, whether you are a serious business person, artist, have a passion for charity work,are spiritual,a new ager, or Christian, you will be able to relate to most of these stories. I bet one will inspire you to make that change in your life and go for it, whatever "it" is for you. This is the time, and this book could start you on your way to a more passionate and interesting life.

" A ship in harbor is safe. But that is not what ships are for". -John A. Shedd.

These are inspiring stories about people from all walks of life. The reader will find out that everyone has problems and that life is not always simple for anyone. These persons succeed however in turning adversity into success and unhappiness into happiness. The book is enjoyable and uplifting and is filled with positive thinking which is necessary if one wants to have a happy life. Highly recommended!

Joyce Akesson, author of Love's Thrilling Dimensions and The Invitation

"Don't wait until you aren't scared. You'll be dead. Most of us are scared all the time! Change does not require fearlessness, but it does require courage. Courage is not being fearless - it's doing what is right in the face of fear. Without fear, there'd be no courage." ~Dr. Nancy Irwin from her book, You Turn

Dr. Irwin doesn't waste any time in her book You Turn to let you know getting to where you want to go is already within you. The problem is that most of us are too darn scared to move, change and take advantage of opportunities that come our way. The thing is, as she explains in the quote above, many of us are fighting our fears and hoping, praying that a day will come when we are not so darned scared anymore. That day may never come, because, fear is what it is and is a part of human nature.


The problem comes when fear takes control and turns into panic and builds into more robust terror. The only way to fight this fear often seems that we need to stay right where we are, in the known and not dare step forward into anything which may be unknown.

I very much enjoyed You Turn which has a hearty, inspiring forward by Dr. Nancy Irwin, who has been there and done that - changing her life in mid stream, overcoming inner fears and the fear of the unknown, what ifs, maybe's and possible colossal failure, embarrassment, you name it. She was a stage comedian then decided to go to school again and pursue a doctorate in psychology. Comedian to doctorate in psychology, yes, you read that right!

You Turn is a collection of over 40 stories from people over 40 years of age who changed direction in mid-life. It's the perfect book for anyone contemplating change or unhappy with their current place. However, I strongly urge anyone above the age of 16 to read this book at least once. It's never too early and it is never too late to become not only inspired but, trustful, for what we really want, change directions and make a You Turn! You may even realize that where you currently are is the right place and you can change your direction where you are, in what you are currently doing, if you are stuck or, in a valley.

Just a little tidbit of information to add: Napoleon Hill noted in his book Think and Grow Rich that it is usually in a person's 40's that many hit their stride and come into their own, which stands to reason that Dr. Nancy Irwin is spot on that mid-life isn't the time to slow down and get comfortable, it's time to turn it on, turn it up, make a You Turn and blaze your path to your success and what success means to you!

Bryan Hutchinson
Author of:
One Boy's Struggle: A Memoir: Surviving Life with Undiagnosed ADD

I'll give this book three stars, but that is for the stories themselves and not particularly for the writing. Some of these short essay-type stories of success in mid-life and beyond are inspiring. As we live longer there will obviously be many more as there's not only second acts, but third and fourth acts for many people. I think it's good to read these stories and realize that life doesn't have to end creatively at 40, 50, even 70 or beyond. The message is it's never too late to go for your dreams and while not always written well, the point is made and there's sure to be a lot of inspiration for many.