You Want Me to Do What? [Paperback]

B. Lynn Goodwin (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: December 16, 2008

Over fifty million caregivers spend every spare minute driving to medical appointments, stopping at the pharmacy, cooking, answering questions, paying bills, and helping with matters that used to be private. They feel trapped in an endless loop and need to release the stress of caregiving. B. Lynn Goodwins new book, You Want Me to Do What? Journaling for Caregivers allows users to process their stress and celebrate what is right. It gives readers open-ended instructions on spilling their guts in the safety of a private journal and offers two hundred sentence starts to help them begin writing. Caring for oneself is as essential as breathing, but caregivers lose sight of that fact. Think of the flight attendant who says, Put on your own oxygen mask before helping those around you. Journaling is a caregivers oxygen mask, which You Want Me to Do What? provides.

Product Details

• Paperback: 160 pages
• Publisher: Tate Publishing (December 16, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1606962973
• ISBN-13: 978-1606962978
• Product Dimensions: 7.1 x 5 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,227,248 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Great Start, December 15, 2008

By 

Veronica Chater (Berkeley, CA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: You Want Me to Do What? (Paperback)

Caregivers are society's quiet sufferers. As sole supporters of an elderly parent, a disabled child, or other dependent, they sometimes struggle for years on end with the responsibilities of a nurse, therapist, provider, and friend. The result of such long-term self-sacrifice can range anywhere from depression to emotional exhaustion.
As a former caregiver herself, B. Lynn Goodwin, author, Writer Advice website creator (http://www.writeradvice.com/index.html), and former teacher, understands the pressure of caring for a dependent family member. She knows the feelings of helplessness and rage associated with long-term caregiving. Where is the relief? With her new book You Want Me to Do What? Goodwin takes a hands-on approach to offering relief through journaling.
Why journal? According to research conducted at universities across the country, Goodwin explains, journaling "reduces feelings of powerlessness. . . and enhances mental stability." For writers and non-writers alike, it can "heal wounds. . . and strengthen your relationship with yourself," while at the same time reducing stress and "opening up perspective."
In this half how-to, half DIY handbook, Goodwin shows her readers how to find the words that won't come ("Look around the room for an image or sensory detail. . ."), and then gives them the benefit of prompts in order to jumpstart their entries. With sentence-starts such as, "I'm teetering on. . ." and "I usually don't talk about. . .", the writer can then follow his or her intuition and let the pen take it from there. And if you're stuck? "Write, `Stuck, stuck, stuck,' until something else comes out."
According to Goodwin, a little can go a long way, and it often does. The ultimate goal of You Want Me to Do What?, however, is to grow out of the handbook and into the caregiver's own roomier spiral notebook. No matter who you are, Goodwin points out, "your story is buried treasure."

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Helps a caregiver sort out frustration and love from medications and bed pans, April 17, 2010

By 

Nicole Langan "Tribute Books Reviews" (Archbald, PA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: You Want Me to Do What? (Paperback)

Author B. Lynn Goodwin is a fellow book reviewer at WriterAdvice.com. When she became the primary caregiver of her elderly mother, she turned to writing as a form of therapy. In her book, You Want Me To Do What? Journaling for Caregivers, she seeks to bring others the same form of release.

Goodwin cites the research of James W. Pennebaker, professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. He studied the effects of journaling and found that putting thoughts and feelings on paper is powerful.

Journaling empowers the writer, who feels heard and acknowledged. It opens up perspective and insight. It reduces feelings of powerlessness. Journaling heals wounds and enhances mental stability.


Goodwin cared for her mother from 1994 through 2001. She knows firsthand what it is like when the parent-child relationship is reversed. Basic tasks can no longer be accomplished. Privacy is diminished. Confusion and embarrassment ensue. While acts of caregiving are rooted in love, frustration can lead to guilt. Goodwin understands the danger of succumbing to raw emotions. Instead of bottling them up, she suggests giving their expression free rein through writing.

The book provides several sentence starters broken down into four sections entitled "Thoughts about Me," "Thoughts about Caregiving," "Thoughts about the One I Care For," and "Thoughts about Reclaiming Myself." Prompts include "I wish I didn't resent...," "When I want to escape...," "I feel burned out when...," "I love you, but..." and "I forget what it feels like to..." These beginnings are followed by blank lines so that the reader can write a response in the book itself, although Goodwin encourages writing in a separate journal in order to fully explore each topic.

There are no rules for using the book. Goodwin suggests skipping items that do not particularly move the reader and focusing on those that open a cathartic doorway. She encourages caregivers who have hang-ups about writing to put away their insecurities. No judgments are made on writing ability. The key is to start writing regardless of one's level of expertise. Goodwin even suggests drawing for those who feel intimidated or creatively blocked by the act of writing.

The reader is not left hanging upon reaching the book's final page. At Goodwin's website, WriterAdvice.com there is information about writing with other caregivers, sample prompts, writings of those who have tried the process, booklists and more. She encourages caregivers to develop their journal entries into letters, essays, short stories, poems, memoirs and plays. Through her book, she provides an access point for caregivers to share their stories with each other and examine the healing power of the written word.

Overall, this book helps a caregiver sort out frustration and love from medications and bed pans.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Lifeline for Caregivers, January 16, 2010

By 

Story Circle Book Reviews - See all my reviews

This review is from: You Want Me to Do What? (Paperback)

Asked "What do you need?" most caregivers would respond readily: rest; solitude; privacy; companionship; recreation; freedom from interruption, worry, frustration, anger, grief, depression.

Author B. Lynn Goodwin, who spent seven years doing "Mom Care," says caregivers need a lifeline. In You Want Me to Do What?: Journaling for Caregivers, she offers that lifeline--journal writing.

Referencing research done by Professor James W. Pennebaker and others into the effects of writing on the mind and the body, Goodwin says writing "heals wounds and enhances mental stability."

"One of the simplest, most private places to write," says Goodwin, "is in a journal. It allows you to vent, delve into issues, and untangle messes. It lets you analyze or celebrate. It allows you to finish a thought without interruption. Journaling releases mental toxins and deepens awareness. It enables you to strip away the daily debris and let the strong, safe, sane, healthy, hopeful parts of you emerge."

The guidelines Goodwin lays out are similar to those advocated by Julia Cameron, Natalie Goldberg, and others who teach writing as a practice: write daily for at least fifteen minutes ("a goal, not a mandate"), write about anything, write fast, don't stop, don't judge.

What sets Goodwin's book apart is that it functions as a journal. Each of the core chapters contains approximately twenty-five pages of sentence prompts: "The truth is..."; "Today, I don't want..."; "I usually don't talk about..." Each prompt is followed by space for the caregiver to finish the sentence and continue the journal entry.

Prompts are carefully sequenced. In line with Goodwin's advice to "start where you are," the caregiver begins with "Thoughts About Me," and then moves outward to "Thoughts About Caregiving," and "Thoughts About the One I Care For." Prompts allow the writer to describe challenges ("I feel burned out when...." ) as well as joys and rewards ("Today my best moments are..." ). Some prompts are specific ("I wish I didn't resent..."), while others are open-ended ("When..."). Some invite analysis of the complex relationship between caregiver and patient ("I have trouble telling you..."). Finally, in "Thoughts About Reclaiming Myself," Goodwin encourages the writer to look to a future beyond caregiving ("I promise myself..."; "My healing..."; "I am ready to explore...").

The author sets aside two blank pages for writers to compose their own sentence prompts. She ends by offering suggestions for turning entries into other formats, such as letters or essays, and for learning more about the writing process.

You Want Me to Do What? is a small but powerful book. Telling the truth is hard. People in conflict, those on the edge of burn-out, may read about the healing power of writing but fail to follow through. Goodwin, by using a "workbook" format, provides an automatic transition from theory to practice, from reading to writing. It is exactly the right book for its target audience. In fact, the only drawback I see is that the tight binding doesn't allow the book to lie flat. Once the writer has become comfortable with the process, however, she's likely to switch from the workbook to a different format with room for longer entries.

Like Goodwin, I spent many years doing "Mom Care." A copy of You Want Me to Do What? would have helped me get through some difficult times. It would make a fine gift for any caregiver.

Writing itself, says Goodwin, is a gift. "Get your story, your nuances, your frustrations, your hopes, and your love on the page," she encourages. "Your story is buried treasure."

by Kathy Waller
for Story Circle Book Reviews
reviewing books by, for, and about women