You Are Your Child's First Teacher: What Parents Can Do With and For Their Chlldren from Birth to Age Six [Paperback]

Rahima Baldwin Dancy (Author), Rahima Baldwin (Author)

Book Description

Release date: August 1, 2000

Nowadays parents are bombarded by any number of approaches about how to be with their children. YOU ARE YOUR CHILD'S FIRST TEACHER introduces a new way of understanding the human being so that parents can be best equipped to serve as their own children's best teachers. Chapters include: Caring for the Newborn, Helping Your Toddler's Development, The Development of Fantasy and Creative Play, Nourishing Your Child's Imagination, Rhythm and Discipline in Home Life, Readiness for School, and more.

Product Details

• Paperback: 400 pages
• Publisher: Celestial Arts; Revised edition (August 1, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0890879672
• ISBN-13: 978-0890879672
• Product Dimensions: 6 x 1 x 9.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (34 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #312,375 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Product Details

• Paperback: 400 pages
• Publisher: Celestial Arts; Revised edition (August 1, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0890879672
• ISBN-13: 978-0890879672
• Product Dimensions: 6 x 1 x 9.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (34 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #312,375 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

79 of 80 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Refined my perspective on what is best for my children December 4, 2002

By 4kidsMommee

Format:Paperback

This book is one of the few books on parenting and early childhood education that is based on the child's true needs. This book truly allowed my inner parenting philosophy to blossom. Other readers should note that this isn't another book on what to do with your child to "make them smarter" or "advance their development", and such conceptual paradigms are actually inappropriate for promoting our children's internal developmental timetables and learning processes. It is also important to note that the foundation of this book is based on Rudolph Steiner's approach to parenting and early childhood education, known as the Waldorf method. My twins are soon approaching toddlerhood and we are researching different educational styles before they reach their preschool years. Even though I am not sure if my husband and I will choose a Waldorf education for our children, I believe the arguments in this book made sense in terms of creative and explorative play being the critical foundations of learning for small children, and that drilling them with academic lessons too soon may be harmful to their ability to truly learn once they reach their school age years in terms of developing critical thinking and problem solving skills as well as giving small children the impression that learning is a chore rather than something that is fun and exciting. As a new parent I was so tempted to fall into the media-based hype of how to make my babies "smarter" or "advance their development" and buy various advertised products that make those claims. I now undestand how miseducated I was on early childhood development and my children's true needs during their first year in spite of the many books and magazine articles I've read.... I think that so many parents feel the pressure to feed into that hype because we are made to feel that our competence as parents is based on how much our children fit into our socially conditioned definition of success which involves placing a high value on attributes that will allow one to have power and financial wealth, thus the temptation to mold our children into whiz kids and star athletes when some kids just aren't meant to be whiz kids and star athletes. This book gave me a reference point as a new parent on the kind of learning foundation and home environment I want to provide for my children, and assured me of the benefits of seeing my children as whole people -mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Read more ›

72 of 76 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars The Book That Changed My Life December 30, 2003

By Sarah Baldwin

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

This is the book that not only profoundly changed my parenting style, but led to a career change and major lifestyle change for my family. This was the book that introduced me to Waldorf education and led me to pursue Waldorf teacher training. As a result of this introduction, my husband and I were led to re-evaluate our values and our lifestyle, and we ultimately made the transition from a fast-paced life in the show-business world of Los Angeles, to a quiet life living on a small farm in rural Maine. As a Waldorf early childhood teacher, I have recommended this book to countless families as an introduction to Waldorf education. I always give it as a gift to friends and family with new babies. It is the book I wish I'd had before the birth of my first child. I don't expect most families would experience such a dramatic lifestyle change as a result of this book as ours did, but it may help you relax into your role as a parent, realize that less is indeed more, and make your journey as a parent more meaningful and satisfying.

29 of 30 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars A Review July 27, 2008

By Henry

Format:Paperback

Dancy's book provides a good introduction to Waldorf and Steiner child-raising. I think it is helpful and valuable in that respect. But it is important to bear in mind that it is really just an opinion book, without much science or studies to back it up. Her two main sources of information are Rudolf Steiner and Barry L. White. Steiner got all of his ideas from his spiritual insights. Barry L. White is a researcher with Harvard associates who wrote two books about early childhood development. I googled White, and could not find a web page about him, nor a Wikipedia entry. I found out nothing more about him.

I think this book is a good way to learn more about the Waldorf and Steiner perspective, but do not expect much in the way of factual evidence. Instead she relies on anecdote, and sometimes her own perception of what she has seen.

Example: Dancy says that children should be given natural and unfinished toys like dolls without finished faces and gives a couple reasons. I agree that these toys are more attractive and interesting to children and toddlers, but it's her backup examples that were purely speculative. One reason was that she once saw a photopgraph of a child holding a finished toy with a smile, and she thought the child was blindly imitating the toy's expression. Her second reason was that she heard a story about a girl who was droopy and listless and always carried around a doll that was droopy and listless. When the girl was given a new toy that was more natural, then the girl perked right up.

Overall, this book provides an interesting perspective, but it is suffused with Steiner's spiritual insights (which sometimes sound a bit wierd). Dancy offers her reader a very loving and caring approach to child raising that make one more aware.... The book allows for some thoughtful reflection on the part of her audience. But do not read this book expecting much in the way of research. She makes a lot of statements and contentions that do not have any citation or evidence to back them up. Thankfully, she does refer to the work of David Elkind, professor at Tufts, a few times and his research into child development.

I read this book with thoughtful interest and brought along a grain of salt. Read more ›

21 of 22 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars A few things you should know about 'You Are Your Child's First Teacher' January 28, 2010

By A Customer

Format:Paperback

Rahima Baldwin Dancy wrote this book for parents who want to help their children learn as much as possible between birth and age six. These are the most formative years in many ways, and everything the school age child learns after age six has less overall impact than the crucial early learning. The first three years are especially critical. The new born baby, far from just eating, sleeping and crying, is taking in information about the world at an astounding rate.

It's not just a matter of intellectual growth, however, but of raising a well rounded person. The phenomenon of 'hothousing', when parents try to hurry their children's intellectual development by cramming them full of assignments at a very early age, does not lead to a well rounded child. These are the same types who practice 'baby gymnastics' and hire motivational coaches for their toddlers, and the author of 'You Are Your Child's First Teacher' is scathing towards them.

"American popular psychology and business interests have interpreted 'infant stimulation' to mean that you constantly need to be stimulating your baby with bits of coloured plastic and flash cards," writes Dancy, who believes that more enriching stimulation comes through holding, rocking, talking etc. "Even though babies can be taught to read with enough condition-response training, they are not reading for meaning and are using a lower part of the brain."

Perhaps this book, in attempting to redress the balance, goes slightly too far in the other direction. The book is heavily influenced by the ideas of Rudolf Steiner, who believed that science and maths shouldn't be taught in the first seven years. But this all depends on the child.... I used to love reading about science, even around age four and five, as it was truly fun, especially the stuff about dinosaurs (paleontology) and outer space (astronomy). As long as it isn't made tedious and technical, there shouldn't be any problem with teaching these kinds of areas before the age of seven.

On the other hand, it should be remembered that children are not highly rational, and the author asserts that giving them overtly rational explanations at a young age is like giving a hungry child stones instead of bread: "When young children ask questions like "why does the sun shine?", they are really asking about purpose rather than mechanics," she asserts, "and are much more nourished by an answer like "to keep us warm and to make the grass and flowers grow" rather than a lecture on thermodynamics." This will be anathema to totalitarian empiricists like Richard Dawkins, who claimed at one point that he wanted research done into whether fairy tales were harmful to children, and whether they should be banned!

The author excels at explaining the different stages of consciousness that a child goes through: "Between the second and third years a major change in consciousness occurs with...the first saying of the word 'I'. This change is the reason most people can't remember very much before the age of three." She does a good job of explaining the stages of mental, spiritual and physical development of a baby. Babies 'grow down' rather than grow up, with their eyes being the first thing they learn to control, then the head, torso, and finally the legs.

She doesn't recommend playpens, because they trap the baby in a boring, enclosed enviroment. Better to let the baby explore at will (after making sure the room is totally safe of course). A study of children who performed outstandingly in later life showed that they almost invariably had parents who were "loving but firm". "It's time to brush your teeth" is better than "Brush your teeth now please" for a toddler in the 'terrible twos' phase of development. It is harder for them to argue against this. Adding a song or ritual helps, e.g. lighting a candle near their bed when it's bedtime, and then letting them blow out the match.

Another strategy suggested for 'terrible twos' throwing a tantrum is to simply pick the child up and take him to another room. Stand there stony faced and silent until he has calmed down (usually just a few minutes), and then return him to the original scene. This apparently works better than ignoring the child's behaviour on the one hand, or losing one's temper on the other.

The importance of play is stressed, as it develops the child's imagination and creativity. The author used to work as a preschool teacher, and observed a dramatic difference between those children who watched TV and those who didn't. The ones who didn't watch TV were far more imaginative in their play. There is an interesting section on 'Understanding Children's Drawings': "Until the age of three, spirals are drawn from outward to inward, only gradually forming a centre that reflects the child's growing realisation of self...the flash of ego consciousness is documented by the ability to draw a circle."

Folk tales and fairy tales are full of spiritual and psychological truths, and should be encouraged from the age of around four. They shouldn't be 'rationalised' either, as the child takes them in on an instinctive level, and becomes immersed in their subtle and mysterious symbolism, which then becomes part of the psyche (or if you prefer, an echo of the timeless realm the child departed at birth). Too much emotional dramatisation should be avoided in telling such tales to a young child, as the emotions aren't developed enough before the age of seven or so to appreciate this. Instead, under-sevens listen for the cadence and rhythm of the language, and repeating the same story over and over is fine. The book gives a helpful (but not nearly complete enough) list of fairy tales and their suitablilty for different ages based on their varying degrees of complexity. Read more ›