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You'd Better Not Die or I'll Kill You: A Caregiver's Survival Guide to Keeping You in Good Health and Good Spirits Paperback – October 31, 2012


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You'd Better Not Die or I'll Kill You: A Caregiver's Survival Guide to Keeping You in Good Health and Good Spirits + When the Man You Love Is Ill: Doing Your Best for Your Partner Without Losing Yourself + The Caregiving Wife's Handbook: Caring for Your Seriously Ill Husband, Caring for Yourself
Price for all three: $42.07

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Chronicle Books; 1 edition (October 31, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 145210753X
  • ISBN-13: 978-1452107530
  • Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.7 x 0.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (22 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #618,563 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Novelist Heller (The Secret Ingredient) is no stranger to illness; her father had brain cancer, her stepfather had complications from epilepsy, and she married a man with severe Crohn's disease. So readers might assume, Heller acknowledges, this is a 'bad news book.' But it is actually candid, informative, upbeat, and sometimes ribald... a useful book for patients and caregivers alike."
- Publishers Weekly (Starred Review)


"Jane's book is so engaging and entertaining. She tells her own caregiving story, and provides insights into everything from siblings to doctors to hospitals. Great read!"
-Barbara McVicker, Host of the PBS Special "Stuck in the Middle: Caring for Mom and Dad" and Eldercare Author

"A combination of autobiography, anecdotes from other caregivers, and interviews with experts, this gem of a book makes good on its promise. Written in a no-nonsense style with a healthy dose of humor, it offers a wealth of advice on everything from navigating the healthcare system to getting more sleep to the importance of human touch. It's a valuable resource for caregivers - whether taking care of someone with a stroke, Crohn's disease, dementia or many other conditions. I recommend it highly."
-Marie Marley, author of the award-winning Come Back Early Today: A Memoir of Love, Alzheimer's and Joy

"This book will be an affirmation to let you know you're not alone, that your work is incredibly important, and that there are effective strategies other caregivers have found helpful that might also be applied to help your situation be a bit easier to bear."
-Dawn Marcus, MD

"This book is the perfect companion for every caregiver. You only have to read the Table of Contents to know Jane Heller has given you the gifts of comfort, humor, strength and solidarity. Take it to the waiting room and always keep it within easy reach!"
-Pauline Jones, RN, Chief Operating Officer, Visiting Nurse & Hospice Care of Santa Barbara

"Jane Heller's humorous and compassionate book has real-world advice for caregivers of all kinds, covering topics from diet and exercise, to surviving long hours in hospitals and being taken seriously by medical providers. Jane even covers topics others don't, such as the sex life of the caregiver, and finding humor and the silver lining in a world of despair. With input from experienced caregivers, it's a must-read for all who face this daunting task."
-Susan Disney Lord, 2012 Alzheimer's Association Southland Chapter Caregiver of the Year

"Jane Heller takes us on her heartfelt, humor-filled journey caring for her husband, channeling Nora Ephron along the way. This is a must-read eye witness account of what it takes to care for a loved one and how to keep your spirits lifted in the process."
-Sherri Snelling, CEO, Caregiving Club

About the Author

Jane Heller is the author of 13 novels. Jane lives in Santa Barbara, California, with her husband, Michael Forester.

More About the Author

I'm so excited that all 13 of my novels of romantic comedy are out as e-books now. I really hope those who've never tried the books will download them and that those who've already enjoyed them will want to have these new editions too. And speaking of my novels, AN EX TO GRIND is in development for a feature film. Fingers crossed that it reaches the big screen. After 9 movie options for my books I'm so ready!

Also exciting for me is the publication of my latest nonfiction book: YOU'D BETTER NOT DIE OR I'LL KILL YOU: A Caregiver's Survival Guide to Keeping You in Good Health and Good Spirits. Published by Chronicle, it's what I affectionately called "Nora Ephron's I FEEL BAD ABOUT MY NECK meets Heidi Murkoff's WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU'RE EXPECTING" in that it's a combo of my personal, often humorous essays about caring for a spouse with a chronic illness, interviews with other caregivers (of children, spouses and elderly parents), and advice from a wide range of experts. With over 65 million caregivers in this country, I thought it was time for a book that will entertain caregivers even as it provides lots of ideas for self-care. Check it out for yourself or someone you care about.

And the most recent news is that I've just finished a new novel!

Customer Reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars
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See all 22 customer reviews
Lots of humor.
Marcia Meier
Caregiving is a topic du jour as the Boomers approach that age while still supporting children finding their way and parents living longer than anyone imagined.
Martin Bell
Great stress reliever she said.
S. Lusquinos Osmun

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By Lawrence Bocchiere III on November 20, 2012
Format: Paperback
In my position as president of the Well Spouse Association [...] I read and review many books on caregiving. In our organization we have our own face-to-face support groups, reminiscent of the groups appearing in vignettes in this book. The book is absolutely wonderful. I have nearly finished it - but have been interrupted by a number of emergencies involving my own caregiving.

I can tell you now that I was captured by the Contents Page just reading the titles of the chapters. Though many such books are informative, I have never ENJOYED reading a book about caregiving before! Ms Heller uses humor to mitigate pain; and the vignettes from her 'support group' closely mirror the actual discussion that occurs on any subject in Well Spouse face to face support groups!

I highly encourage tired caregivers, and those that could become caregivers to take the time to read this book. You will be glad you did.
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By Jackie on November 7, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I received my book yesterday and sat down to glance through it. Three hours later (with lots of laughs and tears), I finished it from cover to cover. Jane captured not only the "essence" of "The Daughters of Samarkand", but the feelings of every caregiver. What a joy it was to read Jayne's book. As I said, I laughed, I cried, and relived soooo many memories. She captured the last years between my mom and me so very well. Jane, thank you for that--Vi would be so proud. Jane really cares about this project as I could feel her "caring" on each and every page. Thank you, Jane, for this wonderful book. signed, Jackie Walsh, one of the "Daughters of Samarkand".
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By John Goodman on November 9, 2012
Format: Paperback
This book is a must read for anyone who is in a caregiver situation. Great information, and a fabulous resource. I can't recommend enough! There is help, and many answers are in this book!
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Marcia Meier on November 15, 2012
Format: Paperback
I've been reading Jane Heller's You'd Better Not Die or I'll Kill You, and it's exceptional. Honestly, after taking care of my mother the last two years of her life, with her declining health and increasing dementia, I believe this book will be a godsend to so many. The extra gift is Jane writes about this topic with not only compassion and insight, but humor. Lots of humor. It's a wonderful help-mate for caregivers. Give one to a caregiver you know.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Kochava on September 23, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition
This book is emotional, not practical. I didn't expect that going in, but I'm still glad I read it. I happened to read it in one sitting, but the short chapters and segmented structure allows you to start or stop reading at a moment's notice.

It aims to teach you three things (in my opinion):
1) You're not alone. Almost everyone has been a caregiver or will become one.
2) There is always humor and silver linings in every difficult situation.
3) You are not *just* a caregiver.

I felt much better about my situation after reading this, but it's not a "survival guide" by any stretch of the imagination.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Fred E. Nichols on February 9, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Fit my approach of dealing with loss as sometimes we can only get thru if we but laugh at ourselves...
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Richard Millunchick on January 5, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book is written well and is an quick easy read. The advice is not revolutionary, but sometimes it is good to have it laid out as when your in the middle of it sometimes things are overlooked. Having this written with the comments of others in the various stages also gives a nice rounded perspective with different approaches.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Brad Bennett on January 4, 2013
Format: Paperback
This book is both helpful, on a difficult topic and easy to read. The writer is so funny and such a good writer that you keep reading and learning and don't feel overwhelmed. I didn't think a book on caregiving could be a book that is hard to put down. I highly recommend it.
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