Customer Reviews

Young Wives' Tales: New Adventures in Love and Partnership

5 star:		(5)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

As a young feminist, I had an exceptionally difficult time reconciling my beliefs with the fact not only was I head over heels in love with a man, for some reason I was even thinking I wanted to marry him. I had spent most of my life to date deriding the institution of marriage, and when I realized that commitment was in fact what I wanted with this man, I felt utterly confused. I wish I'd had this book three years ago when I was looking for some guidance -- even reading it now gave me a fresh dose of insight and made me realize that there are OTHERS out there as well who struggle with this decision.

In short: this book rocks. No matter what your situation and persuasion, you'll find something inside you can relate with.

This is an outstanding collection of essays. I could easily relate to many of the postives and negatives of relationship commitments that all of the women discussed. I found this book a breath of fresh air!

I found this book to be witty, charming and honest. It offers examples of how heterosexual relationships are challenged and penalized by gender hegemonhy and the social narrative of heteronormativity. Moreover, it's far from a dry or verbose scholarly text. It is clever and fun to read.

If you're looking for a serious look at marriage and commitment in this day and age, Young Wives Tales is a remarkable book written with surprising insight and originality. The writers speak their minds while not giving in to so-called male authority or giving false homage to a male-centered agenda. These young women are daring and delightful! They take charge of their own lives, in their own way, without being obligated to evaluate their worth in terms of patriarchal opinions or vision.

Don't get me wrong, these women are respectful of their male counterparts (those that include men) and live and love in a healthy manner. Some of the essays do not concern male participation at all and do not hinge on "male authority." Some folks may be uncomfortable with a marriage that does not need or want male endorsement. Nevertheless, the authors do not lessen their voices or cater to male-centered expectations. "A Crossing of Arms: The Pagan Handfasting," is a favorite because of the poetic skill of the author and the focus on male and female together. The unique name-sharing option described in this piece is neither pro-male nor pro-female. It is something more, beyond and between these dichotomies, the author asserting her voice, while not insulting or demoting the male experience.

"The Lesbian Baby Dance" demonstrates the struggles of lesbian parenting -- a reality so often shunned, criticized or disregarded altogether. The women want a baby, and do not have to hook up with a male to make that happen, so they are not economically, socially -- or even reproductively dependent upon men. This book deals with sex, singlehood, feminist parenting, child-free marriage, living together, marital boundaries, multi-partnered love and feminist vision. The voices are strong, the pieces well-written and the collection, itself refreshing. Be warned, if a strong feminist consciousness could intimidate you, then perhaps this book is not for you. All 30 essays are stimulating, and are written by some extraordinary women who are not afraid to rattle some cages in living and loving as they please.

I read this book when it was first published and really enjoyed it overall. The essays were heartfelt and dealt with some of the common feelings of angst about relationships and negotiations. No one ever talks about how difficult relationships can really be and in this book the discussion starts.

I'm a bit surprised that the book has elicited such negative reviews. I think it's worth reading and I personally love Seal Press books. They aren't necessarily academic, but are certainly provocative.

I can't believe the negative reviews I've just found regarding this title... and some of them written by so-called feminists themselves. How can someone be offended by a book or the stories of others' lives? Only if they choose to fear words or the expression of others' thoughts and ways of life.

Love and partnership: the very subject matter is quite personal and so, the anthology is a collection of intimate tales very openly shared showing the trials, tribulations, challenges, and discoveries of a variety of women. For the first time in reading these accounts, I've realized there are others like me...those of us who don't view relationships, sex, and love as conventional, traditional, or confined but as very unique and individual circumstances and arrangements fitting the uniqueness of the individuals involved themselves. The stories will open your mind, introduce new ways of thought, and support the idea that we are all connected, as humans and women, no matter how different we may be. The stories are inspiring, making you feel included rather than excluded, and give you the motivation to continue to seek the partnerships best suited to your own needs and wants.

It's a joy to read, full of surprises, and exactly what you'd expect from such a title. It serves to confirm the definition and benefit of true and inclusive feminism, allowing room for all of us whether we go the marriage route or not.

I haven't read the whole book yet, but I mainly bought it to sort out how one can be a feminist but still commit to marriage. Seems like good advice for my purposes!

This book is first and foremost a collection of stories about feminism, and secondly about marriage. I think if I had understood that from the start I would be less disappointed in this book.

I felt that most of the authors were somehow hiding behind very complicated ideological structures and it was hard to find vulnerability, personal honesty and insight, or even a sense of understanding in many of the stories. While I found many of the topics in the book fascinating, the essays themselves just fell completely flat.

Heavy on self-expression and light on analysis, this book is like an episode of the Oprah Winfrey Show: it's earnest, it means to improve people,and it's peppered with new age terminology. In brief stylistically undistringuished first-person essays, a series of female authors discuss their erotic parnterships. Most are married. Some aren't. All consider their amorous narratives to be somehow awesome. Readers are regaled with embarassingly personal and sentimental accounts: one woman's struggle to have an orgasm, another's tacky Las Vegas wedding, yet another's goddess ceremony in which she and her partner worshipped corn (that's right). It's not clear why we should care about any of this; because the writers have no finesse, they appear to be a group friends selected by the editors at random, so the collection has the feeling of an all-girls slumber party -- a buncha spoiled upper-middle-class chicks sittin' around rapping. And there's a deeper problem. Virtually each smarmy essay presents marriage as the path to self-improvement (in the words of one author,getting married has made her kinder toward herself). This reactionary sentiment is hard enough to take when it comes from the columns of women's magazines, but packaged as a feminist manifesto, it's truly offensive.

As an avid reader, a feminist, and newly engaged to be married, I was thrilled to see that the third wave feminist grrls from "Bust" magazine had edited a book on marriage. To add to my excitement it was published by the very cool Seal Press, and had a forward by my hero bell hooks. IT WAS SEVERELY DISAPPOINTING! Based on my previous experience, I expected honest, daring, endearing funny stories from a variety of self actualized women. Instead I got boring stories about: how un-feminist marriage is, what last name the baby gets, and is lesbian marriage "real" marriage. Clearly the editors didn't do a very good job seeking out QUALIFIED submissions - something with attitude, something where theory meets praxis. To top it off even the forward from bell hooks was bland. She discusses her legacy with feminism and leaves out discussing MARRIAGE! A (good) book about feminism and marriage is despretly needed. It's such a difficult area for all of us partnered thinking humans. "Sex and the City" is doing great. Why can't we have a book version. And I don't think "The Rules" counts.