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Your Boss Is Not Your Mother: Eight Steps to Eliminating Office Drama and Creating Positive Relationships at Work Paperback – May 26, 2006


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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Clinical psychologist Mandel's premise is crystal clear-readers have the power to end their workplace misery: "It doesn't matter who you work for, or who you work with...." The text lays out simple steps to change, including anecdotal examples and workbook-style exercises to help readers "stop responding to people in the workplace from a childhood-oriented perspective and to get rid of old defenses that don't really help in workplace settings." Mandel works hard to keep the text simple and psychobabble-free, which readers will value but may occasionally find condescending, especially as Mandel is not so adept at avoiding cliché business buzzwords: "The more you claim ownership of your choices, the more empowered you become, and the more fulfilling your life will be." Though packed with practical advise and ideas, Mandel doesn't turn up anything particularly innovative; still, many readers will benefit from Mandel's straightforward advice.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

Now if TV/radio spokesperson, author (Healing the Sensitive Heart, 2003), and psychologist Mandel could take a lesson or two from PR people, her prose just might be a bit smoother and easier to understand and embrace. Unfortunately, Mandel's fallen into the more-is-more trap which, combined with a bit too much psychological noise about childhood bruises like dysfunction and all kinds of abuse, does not encourage even skimming. Yet, density aside, the premise shines through: our experience at work can be the sum total of all our learned experiences and behaviors. Her exercises help define the issues and provide new actions to adopt, beginning with a test on how "the old stuff affects you in the workplace" to ending with a confidence-building scenario. It is all about self-awareness--and the courage to change, whether initiated individually or implemented with the help of a counselor. Barbara Jacobs
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 188 pages
  • Publisher: Agate B2 (May 26, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1932841164
  • ISBN-13: 978-1932841169
  • Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.3 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,469,723 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful By Michael L. Bertolucci on June 15, 2006
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This book has so many important points to make regarding difficult and often stressful relationships at work. Not only does Dr. Mandel help you understand and identify these issues but gives extremely practical information on how to handle and resolve these problem relationships. She has addressed a common yet often unexplored workplace experience of power struggles that we end up taking home with us after work. Her book helps us understand ourselves with more empathy and handle others with respectful boundary setting and humor. This is a book anyone in the workplace should own if they are experiencing a conflict with a coworker or boss!
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful By Ruth O'Hara on May 29, 2006
Format: Paperback
A must read for anyone experiencing a pattern of disfunction in the workplace. Dr. Mandel explores this phenomenon in an eye opening and humorous fashion. I found this book extremently helpful in identifying behaviors within ourselves and others that lead to negativity and drama in the workplace. Additionally, Dr. Mandel gives some practical and positive steps for recognizing and correcting negative patterns in the future.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By David Baeza on July 6, 2006
Format: Paperback
I read this book and than passed it on at work. The title tended to scare people but the content won them over:

"...I think the most important thing ...is how important it is to be accountable for our behavior at work and to step back and see whether we're bringing other resentments outside of work into the workplace and to be very conscious of what we resent and what our part is in it."

I've read quite a few management books and the topics that Dr. Debra covers are never mentioned. As a manager, I have to deal with sensitive personal matters and it's wonderful for me to have a practical guide to help me understand the issues. HIPPA rules are very strict and managers must be careful when navigating personal issues in the workplace. This book bridges the gap. By giving it to employees it allows me the opportunity to provide thoughtful guidance without violating their privacy.

There is a clear demand for this type of information in the workplace. Keep um coming!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Dame Eyola on December 6, 2009
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This book helped me a lot during a difficult time with a boss who turned out to be scamming the company. He was truly a challenge to work with and I'm glad I had the many strategies in this book to help me deal with him. I've used the strategies in other jobs since and I feel so much better at work. On the flipside, I also now know how to help employees that seem to be reacting to me as I were their parent.
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