Your Child's Divorce: What to Expect...What You Can Do (Rebuilding Books: Relationships-Divorce-And Beyond) [Paperback]

Marsha Temlock (Author)

Book Description

Series: Rebuilding Books: Relationships-Divorce-And Beyond | Publication Date: September 15, 2006

When an adult child’s marriage ends, lots of folks are hurt. The divorcing couple, of course, and their children. Until now, however, little attention has been paid to the parents of the divorcees. Temlock’s examination of this sensitive topic offers parents a friendly guidebook packed with helpful information and suggestions from parents who’ve "been there." Her five-stage model of the divorce process for parents (Accepting the News... Rescuing Your Child... Responding to Changes... Stabilizing the Family... Refocusing and Rebuilding) will help readers to stay grounded through the emotional upheavals they’ll share with their children and grandchildren. This practical manual puts an arm around the shoulder of parents of divorcing adults and supports them through the difficult days of the divorce process and its aftermath.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"...a marvelous resource and source of comfort and help for that often-neglected yet always-affected group: parents of divorce(e)'s. Approachable, readable, and helpful." -- Cynthia MacGregor, Co-author After Your Divorce, Author, The Divorce Helpbook for Kids, The Divorce Helpbook for Teens, and Jigsaw Puzzle Family

"...a valuable tool to understanding both the intertwined enigma of divorce and parents/in-laws who suffer vicariously at minimum." -- Mark Roseman, Deputy Director for Child Access, Children's Rights Council

"...helps families to stay grounded during emotional upheavals and explains how to deal with their feelings of pain, sadness and anger." -- Chicago Tribune, May 13, 2007

"...required reading for parents whose adult child has made a life-changing decision that impacts them as well as the divorcing couple and their children." -- Florence R. Kraut, LCSW, Former President and CEO, Family & Children's Agency

From the Author

Your Child's Divorce... takes you through the process of divorce from the viewpoint of a set of parents who, like you, are struggling to make sense of their roles through each stage. You will move from the announcement of the marital breakup to the re-establishment of the family unit. This continuum is not always linear, and each family member moves along at his or her own pace...Chances are you are open to reading this book because you recognize that there are many stumbling blocks, and you are eager to get past them so you can be available to your child and grandchildren who need your support.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Impact Publishers (September 15, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1886230668
• ISBN-13: 978-1886230668
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6.3 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #89,001 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #22 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Grandparenting
  • #56 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Parent & Adult Child
  • #84 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Relationships > Divorce

More About the Author

Marsha Temlock has Masters Degrees in Organizational Psychology and English Literature. She has worked for more than twenty years in social and psychological services. She also writes a weekly column for the New Canaan News-Review and is a feature writer for Weston magazine and Chicago Suburban Woman. Most importantly perhaps, Temlock helped her two adult children successfully cope with difficult divorces. Marsha and her husband divide their time between Westport, Connecticut and New York City.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Surviving Your Child's Divorce, September 10, 2007

By 

Biblio Wise (California, United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Your Child's Divorce: What to Expect...What You Can Do (Rebuilding Books: Relationships-Divorce-And Beyond) (Paperback)

The author, Marsha Temlock, was inspired to write this book based on personal experience. I read an article in the New York Times ("My Child's Divorce Is My Pain" September 2, 2007, also in Boston Globe) telling her story and felt I had to read this book. As divorce becomes more common and parents live longer, they are more and more involved in the breakup of their children's marriage. This is a difficult adjustment for parents who feel caught in the middle between their own need to grieve/adjust and the need to help their child. The parents find themselves mediating between the separated spouses like the author did when her son and his wife went through a divorce (in the article she said she felt "like a 'switchboard operator', letting their divorce monopolize her life.") Also difficult emotions overwhelm the parent, like the plaguing "guilt and self-flagellation" that occur when a parent sees their child's marriage suffering. But luckily, this book is full of answers and insights, from someone who has already been through this process. We can learn from the author's experiences and not make matters worse by "trying to fix or rescue the marriage or wallowing in guilt or pain." Instead this book focuses on how you can help your child and your grandchildren cope. The five stage model (Accepting the News... Rescuing Your Child... Responding to Changes... Stabilizing the Family... Refocusing and Rebuilding) is just what the doctor called for when it comes to helping your family make the best of this situation. As unfortunate as a divorce is, how you deal with it can bring your family closer (or not). This book is user-friendly, accessible, clearly written, and compassionate. I highly recommend it for any parent in this situation.

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Helpful Resource, May 2, 2007

By 

Connecticut Muse (Connecticut) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Your Child's Divorce: What to Expect...What You Can Do (Rebuilding Books: Relationships-Divorce-And Beyond) (Paperback)

Your Child's Divorce helps parents stay grounded through the emotional upheavals they will undergo during and after their child's divorce. Temlock's book essentially provides a five stage model of the divorce process: 1) Accepting the News, 2) Rescuing your Child, 3) Responding to Changes, 4) Stabilizing the Family, and 5) Refocusing and Rebuilding. In her heartfelt introduction, Temlock reassures parents that they can help keep the family together even in the midst of divorce; parents can strengthen their relationship with their child during and after a divorce;parents can be instruments of family renewal and regeneration; parents can and must be role models for their children and grandchildren; and parents can hasten their own recovery as they make this journey with their divorcing child. The book is a great resource.

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A missing topic until now, October 6, 2006

By 

ALE - See all my reviews

This review is from: Your Child's Divorce: What to Expect...What You Can Do (Rebuilding Books: Relationships-Divorce-And Beyond) (Paperback)

I am thankfully not in this position, but have friends who are and I bought it for them. I think it really helped them and there were no other resources that really addressed how can the parents of the divorcing adults handle the situation. Thanks Mrs. Temlock.. a very helpful book for my friends.