Customer Reviews

Your Child's Divorce: What to Expect...What You Can Do (Rebuilding Books: Relationships-Divorce-And Beyond)

5 star:		(10)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

The author, Marsha Temlock, was inspired to write this book based on personal experience. I read an article in the New York Times ("My Child's Divorce Is My Pain" September 2, 2007, also in Boston Globe) telling her story and felt I had to read this book. As divorce becomes more common and parents live longer, they are more and more involved in the breakup of their children's marriage. This is a difficult adjustment for parents who feel caught in the middle between their own need to grieve/adjust and the need to help their child. The parents find themselves mediating between the separated spouses like the author did when her son and his wife went through a divorce (in the article she said she felt "like a 'switchboard operator', letting their divorce monopolize her life.") Also difficult emotions overwhelm the parent, like the plaguing "guilt and self-flagellation" that occur when a parent sees their child's marriage suffering. But luckily, this book is full of answers and insights, from someone who has already been through this process. We can learn from the author's experiences and not make matters worse by "trying to fix or rescue the marriage or wallowing in guilt or pain." Instead this book focuses on how you can help your child and your grandchildren cope. The five stage model (Accepting the News... Rescuing Your Child... Responding to Changes... Stabilizing the Family... Refocusing and Rebuilding) is just what the doctor called for when it comes to helping your family make the best of this situation. As unfortunate as a divorce is, how you deal with it can bring your family closer (or not). This book is user-friendly, accessible, clearly written, and compassionate. I highly recommend it for any parent in this situation.

Your Child's Divorce helps parents stay grounded through the emotional upheavals they will undergo during and after their child's divorce. Temlock's book essentially provides a five stage model of the divorce process: 1) Accepting the News, 2) Rescuing your Child, 3) Responding to Changes, 4) Stabilizing the Family, and 5) Refocusing and Rebuilding. In her heartfelt introduction, Temlock reassures parents that they can help keep the family together even in the midst of divorce; parents can strengthen their relationship with their child during and after a divorce;parents can be instruments of family renewal and regeneration; parents can and must be role models for their children and grandchildren; and parents can hasten their own recovery as they make this journey with their divorcing child. The book is a great resource.

I am thankfully not in this position, but have friends who are and I bought it for them. I think it really helped them and there were no other resources that really addressed how can the parents of the divorcing adults handle the situation. Thanks Mrs. Temlock.. a very helpful book for my friends.

Author Marsha Temlock does an excellent job putting an arm around parents (and grandparents) of couples who are divorcing. When I read the book, I couldn't help but think of what I put my own parents through 25 years ago (they were my current age then) when I called to say, "Mom, Dad, we're getting divorced." OUCH! Broken relationships are painful, and it's extra hard when you have to be supportive and helpful when you're hurting and fearful, too. Marsha offers great insight, a plethora of primary source interviews, thorough research, and some good old-fashioned common sense (which is something that often flies out the window when a crisis hits.)
This book is worth twice the price.

After having experienced a divorce myself, I know that my parents and my in-laws would have benefited from this insightful book. Perhaps the most important point of this book is that grandparents need to continue their loving relationship with their grandchildren. This can only be done in continuing a relationship with both divorced parties. Divorce is very painful, and Ms.Temlock helps all of us to recognize those feelings.Ms. Temlock discusses every part of divorce, from finances to counseling. This book can truly help parents during the turmoil and emotional devastation of divorce.

THIS INFORMATIVE WELL WRITTEN EASY TO READ BOOK IS A MUCH NEEDED ADDITION TO THE DIVORCE LITERATURE. IT OFFERS STRAIGHT FORWARD STRATEGIES AS IT GUIDES PARENTS OF DIVORCING ADULT CHILDREN THROUGH A MOST DIFFICULT TIME. I AM RECOMMENDING IT TO MY PATIENTS AS WELL AS TO MY COLLEAGUES---LOIS SCHWARTZMAN,Ph.D

WOW!! I have really struggled with my son's divorce -- and this book helped me understand and control my feelings. I know I am not alone in these feelings!

Finally, a book that truly addresses the needs of parents of divorcing children. How parents react can be critical to a resolutiion that is fair to all. Temlock provides an invaluable guide for parents, who are often over looked in divorces of their children, providing them with guidelines and tools in order to be of help to all concerned.

Human beings like stories. Marsha Temlock harnesses the power of narrative to deal with a difficult subject in Your Child's Divorce. A psychologist who writes for a popular audience, Temlock has the knack of engaging readers. She begins by describing a fictional couple, Nora and Gary, getting the phone call that parents dread: Their son is getting a divorce. Subtitled "What to Expect--What You Can Do," Temlock's book provides valuable advice and workbook pages for those who find themselves in Nora and Gary's shoes.
Susan Adcox, Feature writer About.com

Very good book, a lot of good information on what to say & do and what NOT to. You wait to build your child up not bring them down as they already feel bad about themselves.