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Your Child's Divorce: What to Expect...What You Can Do (Rebuilding Books: Relationships-Divorce-And Beyond) Paperback – September 15, 2006


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Your Child's Divorce: What to Expect...What You Can Do (Rebuilding Books: Relationships-Divorce-And Beyond) + It's Not About You: A Grandparent's Guide to Surviving Divorce in the Family + Two Homes
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Product Details

  • Series: Rebuilding Books: Relationships-Divorce-And Beyond
  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Impact Publishers (September 15, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1886230668
  • ISBN-13: 978-1886230668
  • Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6.3 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #52,836 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"...a marvelous resource and source of comfort and help for that often-neglected yet always-affected group: parents of divorce(e)'s. Approachable, readable, and helpful." -- Cynthia MacGregor, Co-author After Your Divorce, Author, The Divorce Helpbook for Kids, The Divorce Helpbook for Teens, and Jigsaw Puzzle Family

"...a valuable tool to understanding both the intertwined enigma of divorce and parents/in-laws who suffer vicariously at minimum." -- Mark Roseman, Deputy Director for Child Access, Children's Rights Council

"...helps families to stay grounded during emotional upheavals and explains how to deal with their feelings of pain, sadness and anger." -- Chicago Tribune, May 13, 2007

"...required reading for parents whose adult child has made a life-changing decision that impacts them as well as the divorcing couple and their children." -- Florence R. Kraut, LCSW, Former President and CEO, Family & Children's Agency

From the Author

Your Child's Divorce... takes you through the process of divorce from the viewpoint of a set of parents who, like you, are struggling to make sense of their roles through each stage. You will move from the announcement of the marital breakup to the re-establishment of the family unit. This continuum is not always linear, and each family member moves along at his or her own pace...Chances are you are open to reading this book because you recognize that there are many stumbling blocks, and you are eager to get past them so you can be available to your child and grandchildren who need your support.

More About the Author

Marsha Temlock has Masters Degrees in Organizational Psychology and English Literature. She has worked for more than twenty years in social and psychological services. She also writes a weekly column for the New Canaan News-Review and is a feature writer for Weston magazine and Chicago Suburban Woman. Most importantly perhaps, Temlock helped her two adult children successfully cope with difficult divorces. Marsha and her husband divide their time between Westport, Connecticut and New York City.

Customer Reviews

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This book is user-friendly, accessible, clearly written, and compassionate.
Biblio Wise
I can't recommend this book highly enough for those parents experiencing this situation.
John
Finally, a book that truly addresses the needs of parents of divorcing children.
Anita M. Alic

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

17 of 17 people found the following review helpful By Biblio Wise on September 10, 2007
Format: Paperback
The author, Marsha Temlock, was inspired to write this book based on personal experience. I read an article in the New York Times ("My Child's Divorce Is My Pain" September 2, 2007, also in Boston Globe) telling her story and felt I had to read this book. As divorce becomes more common and parents live longer, they are more and more involved in the breakup of their children's marriage. This is a difficult adjustment for parents who feel caught in the middle between their own need to grieve/adjust and the need to help their child. The parents find themselves mediating between the separated spouses like the author did when her son and his wife went through a divorce (in the article she said she felt "like a 'switchboard operator', letting their divorce monopolize her life.") Also difficult emotions overwhelm the parent, like the plaguing "guilt and self-flagellation" that occur when a parent sees their child's marriage suffering. But luckily, this book is full of answers and insights, from someone who has already been through this process. We can learn from the author's experiences and not make matters worse by "trying to fix or rescue the marriage or wallowing in guilt or pain." Instead this book focuses on how you can help your child and your grandchildren cope. The five stage model (Accepting the News... Rescuing Your Child... Responding to Changes... Stabilizing the Family... Refocusing and Rebuilding) is just what the doctor called for when it comes to helping your family make the best of this situation. As unfortunate as a divorce is, how you deal with it can bring your family closer (or not). This book is user-friendly, accessible, clearly written, and compassionate. I highly recommend it for any parent in this situation.
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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful By Connecticut Muse on May 2, 2007
Format: Paperback
Your Child's Divorce helps parents stay grounded through the emotional upheavals they will undergo during and after their child's divorce. Temlock's book essentially provides a five stage model of the divorce process: 1) Accepting the News, 2) Rescuing your Child, 3) Responding to Changes, 4) Stabilizing the Family, and 5) Refocusing and Rebuilding. In her heartfelt introduction, Temlock reassures parents that they can help keep the family together even in the midst of divorce; parents can strengthen their relationship with their child during and after a divorce;parents can be instruments of family renewal and regeneration; parents can and must be role models for their children and grandchildren; and parents can hasten their own recovery as they make this journey with their divorcing child. The book is a great resource.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Jeanette Morris on December 13, 2006
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Author Marsha Temlock does an excellent job putting an arm around parents (and grandparents) of couples who are divorcing. When I read the book, I couldn't help but think of what I put my own parents through 25 years ago (they were my current age then) when I called to say, "Mom, Dad, we're getting divorced." OUCH! Broken relationships are painful, and it's extra hard when you have to be supportive and helpful when you're hurting and fearful, too. Marsha offers great insight, a plethora of primary source interviews, thorough research, and some good old-fashioned common sense (which is something that often flies out the window when a crisis hits.)

This book is worth twice the price.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By ALE on October 6, 2006
Format: Paperback
I am thankfully not in this position, but have friends who are and I bought it for them. I think it really helped them and there were no other resources that really addressed how can the parents of the divorcing adults handle the situation. Thanks Mrs. Temlock.. a very helpful book for my friends.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By John on September 3, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
You love your kids. Your son-in-law is like the son you never had. Your daughter will always be your daughter. They've had their own problems for a long time now. As far as you know, neither one is guilty of anything more than arguing with the other. No cheating, no physical abuse, no money problems, they apparently just want different things out of life, and although they still love each other, they've chosen to separate. Having been through your own divorces years ago, you know how hard this must be for the two of them. But all you can do is continue to support the two of them in any way you can. If nothing else, just let them both know you still love them, and you are there if they need you. But what about the toll on you, yourself, as a parent? You're very close to both, and yet you can't put the pieces of their broken marriage back together again. And it's killing you. What do you do to help yourself? How do you help your spouse cope with her grief? This book offers a lot of comfort. It offers a compassionate dose of reality with which you can find your way through the "do's and dont's" of being a good parent, a good father or mother-in-law, and being good to yourself, given the circumstances. You can't fix everything. But you can help lessen the pain for your children, for yourself, for your spouse, and this book offers a lot of very constructive guidance on how to get through it all. I can't recommend this book highly enough for those parents experiencing this situation. I've sought the help of a few psychologists over the years for other situations. I believe this one book offers more bang for the buck than a dozen visits with a professional. Not to say that you might not still be inclined to seek professional help even if you've had the benefit of reading this book, but it is a tremendous help when YOU need it the most. Good luck!
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