Customer Reviews

Your Child's Weight: Helping without Harming

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4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(1)
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I stumbled on this book while searching for family meal plans. What a revelation. We have one child who we have worried over for years regarding her eating habits and high weight. My husband actually picked up this book and read it cover to cover and, uncharacteristically, led the way in a radical change about how we think about meals and food in our household. This book is full of common sense for families who may be struggling with a child's weight problem. The basic idea is so ZEN--stop controlling, stop struggling, stop worrying and you change the very nature of the problem. Now we're no longer trapped in the double standard of telling one kid to stop eating and the other to finish her food. We're seeing our picky 3 year old actually grab a carrot on his own!! My overeater pushes back from the table when she's full and doesn't crouch over her plate like a famished animal. My middle child is learning to sit in her chair and enjoy the food that is available instead of asking for alternate meals. My husband and I actually have time to catch up with the kids. And I have been able to look at my own eating patterns (and their origins) in a new way. This is a profoundly wise book and I'm so grateful to have discovered it.

In the age of chronic dieting, increasing obesity, and an epidemic of eating disorders, Ellyn Satter's approach to feeding children makes sense! As a former dieter myself, I know dieting does not work, so to impose a "diet" or restricted form of eating on my children doesn't make sense. Ellyn Satter explains in a common sense and non-judgemental way how to stop "restricted feeding" behaviors and allow children to regulate their food intake. Parents are responsible for providing a variety of food, (including food that some people may feel is off-limits, such as chips and cookies)and children are responsible for deciding what and how much to eat. Satter also strongly emphasizes the importance of family meals. It was a tremendous relief to me to hear that I don't have to control the amount that my children eat - that they can be trusted to regulate their own food intake and to grow in a way that nature intended for them. Satter emphasizes that it is OKAY not to be "skinny" and that some children are just larger than others - and it's normal and healthy for them. Satter has a common sense and loving approach for parents of children who are actually at an unhealthy weight to help them get back on track. I wish I had read this book when my children were infants - I would very highly recommend it for any parents who have weight or food issues of their own - read this book before you pass on those issues to your children. I thought I was "over" my own issues and still managed to pass them on! This book should be required reading for parents who are "dieters."

How much damage did my parents do to me by making me "clean my plate" because "there were children starving in Africa!" Urgh. After 20 years with a weight problem, I'm finally getting it under control (with the help of WW) A few months ago - I realized that dd was heading towards obesity herself - and I was helping her ! After reading this book, incorporating some of the suggestions, she lost 10 lbs over the past 3 months, without even trying. Definately urge an overweight parent to read it before putting a child on "a diet" or otherwise limiting food. So glad I did before I made the same mistakes with my other 3 children!

I love Ellyn Satter's healthy attitude toward food and eating. But I did get a bit tired of seeing the magic words "Ellyn Satter's Division of Responsibility" on page after page. Still, Satter's ideas are revolutionary enough that maybe she needs to repeat them frequently to get them across. Her basic idea? You are responsible for presenting your child with nutritious food at regular meal and snack times. You are not responsible for how much your child weighs, you are not responsible for how much (or how little) your child eats, and you shouldn't even try to prevent your child from ever eating "junk" food. Just as important as Satter's theory of how to feed a family is her critique of our "fat-phobic" culture. And she's not just making it up as she goes along--she cites the research to support her theories. This is an important book.

I am thankful that we found this book early enough in my daughter's childhood that we can implement the suggestions and really make a difference in her life. I have struggled with obesity my entire life, and my daughter appears to have inherited my genetic makeup. I learned from this book that many of the things my husband and I were doing WERE harming her and setting her up for full-blown obesity in the future. This book has helped us develop a more relaxed environment around eating, and we now have sit-down family meals for every meal we have at home. That is a key component of the whole philosophy, and even though we knew that was important in the same way that everyone does, we didn't make it a priority until after reading this book.

We read this book about 6 months ago - our son, age 5, seemed to be eating a ton, was rather heavy, and we were worried about what was going on. Initially the book reassured us, and we set about to implement it. While there is great value in this book - and it did reduce a LOT of the stress of family dinners - it turns out that it was exactly the WRONG advice for our son. He ballooned in weight - gaining nearly 15% in body weight. We recently saw a nutritionist who suggested that this book should have a warning label on it - it's great advice - but NOT if your kid has sensory processing issues, autism, or asperger's!

Basically our son can't feel a lot of sensations - he doesn't feel much pain, he can't feel food in his mouth unless his mouth is totally full, he responds best to deep pressure sensations, etc. And what that means is that he can't actually FEEL if his stomach is full - he just keeps eating, way past the point of fullness, because his body doesn't work properly to transmit the feeling of fullness to his brain, and/or his brain can't interpret that sensation properly.

Anyways, I am writing this review because I really wish someone had told me this before I bought this book!

As the parent of 2 children who have been at the same, albeit high, percentile on the growth curve since infancy, this book is very helpful. Now I see how I can tweak my part of the issue, and help my kids learn how to be who they naturally are, without feeling as if I am failing them.
I really appreciate this book, thank you Ellyn Satter.

Satter's approach to eating and teaching healthy eating habits to your children has been incredibly helpful to our family. Our daughter, now 5.5 yrs old, has always tracked 30-60% heavier than she is tall and than our pediatrician was comfortable with. In the past five years I've despaired my daughter would always be heavy, be made fun of by peers, and spend her adult life dieting. My concern has accidentally given rise to subtle food battles in the house as I was always trying to encourage her to eat "more healthily", my code for eating lower fat and calorie foods, fruits and veggies galore. This book has really helped me figure out what I can do to help her grow well and reach her optimal weight while enjoying food. We are no longer battling over food and are rebuilding her trust that she is not going to be denied foods she loves. My only dispute with the book is that the case studies placed throughout make it hard to get to the basic information I need. They would be better placed in an appendix.

Wow, what a relief...as a critical care nurse and a mother of 3 children we have struggled at our house with "balance". I am thin active adult that never had a weight problem ~ and I think I have always ate what I wanted too. Still I worried what to do ~ felt guilty about not doing enough and tried to be careful to not "make an issue". This book really puts it into perspective ~ Adults are in charge of the "What, Where, and When" kids eat...and kids are in charge of "How much." This is still difficult but at least kids don't feel controled and parents don't need to allow a eat whatever whenever you want. Good luck! We all need it ~ but, thanks Satter for finally getting it!

I adore this book. The principles are so sound, and have helped us in our journey to not turn food into a problem, but to have it be a source of enjoyment and happiness. We're of course not perfect in this pursuit, but the attitudes we're instilling in our children are so much more healthy for having read this book. I would recommend it to everyone, hands down!