Customer Reviews

Be Your Own Dating Service: A Step-By-Step Guide to Finding and Maintaining Healthy Relationships

5 star:		(14)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

The only thing I didn't like was the title. This book is so much more than how to date. I followed the suggestions to the last detail. I began by looking at previous relationships, what was good and bad about them and what happened. Then I looked at what I wanted in a relationship. I followed suggestions about increasing my network of friends and acquaintances. I paid attention to where I was in the stages of life and where the other people were. There were so many excellent insights into the psychology of relationships and how to match the physical, emotional, intellectual and not settle -- and also why I settled before and how not to. I can't say enough, and after three months I found someone so incredibly right for me I can't believe it, and she feels the same! Thank you so much, Nina Atwood, I'm telling all my single friends about your book!

Want to pick up women? This isn't your book.

Want to manipulate men into asking you out? This isn't your book.

Want to date with a purpose -- to eventually find and develop a relationship that might become a committed, lifetime relationship nourishing two people? This is it!

Nina Atwood combines her professional training, personal experiences and the experiences of those she has counseled, coached and corresponded with to offer insight into the problems, reassurances that you aren't the only one having them, and concrete, achievable solutions.

While slightly slanted toward the female experience (like duh), it is only slightly slanted. The male experience, problems and point of view are clearly represented. Males can benefit not only from the direct information, but also from the subtext about what women want and expect (or at least should want and expect).

In addition, it isn't just about snaring someone. It is about living a full life, discovering who you truly are, being open and honest both to yourself and the world, and attracting someone who is like you.

I can't say enough good about this book.

If you have never had problems dating, if you've never wondered why you broke up, if you and your partner always seem to be on the same page, if your relationship is going where you want, if you truly understand what the other is feeling, if you never quarrel about "nothing", you don't need this book.

Otherwise, you cannot afford NOT to buy it.

The best book about dating relationships I have found... and it's about much more than just getting dates. As a male psychiatrist at a major university student health service where inability to make good choices in finding a healthy relationship is a common presenting complaint I recommend this book when I feel the patient could benefit from some study concerning the matter. Ordinarily I'm not really a fan of what I consider pop psychology but this book is very insightful and gives a good framework for understanding a process that we are taught very little about but somehow we are supposed to know. The reality for most us is learning in a trial and error fashion, often blindly, without much understanding about why things are going so badly and accumulating baggage along the way. There should be a course on this in high school if education is about preparing people for life, and if so, this book would be on my required reading list.

Ok, I have to give my 2 cents on this book. I am almost done (about 10 more pages left), but I want to give my impression while the ideas are fresh in my mind.

First of all, the reason why I like this book is because the targeted audience of this book is geared toward my type of people. I wanted to search for someone that I can share my life with and I'm ready for an exclusive and committed relationship. I really want to know how I can go out and find someone like that will fulfill my needs. If you are someone who wants to know how to date a beautiful model or use the best pick-up lines, then this book isn't for you.

I think the bottom line of this book is easy to understand and it's straightforward. This book tells you "not seattle for less." I think it gives several convincing arguments on why we will be better off if we dump someone that isn't making us happy. Furthermore, the author explains the essential ingredient needed for a healthy relationship. I will not spoil the bean, but I ask a lot of my friends and they all agree that those ingredients are needed.

For those of us who is too shy to find a date (a lot of male friend I know is in this situation), this book addresses ways we can expand our chance of finding a date. I think it does a pretty good job of expanding our horizon.

Furthermore, this book addresses the importance of communication. I can't agree more. The author delineates common misconceptions that couples faces after the fireworks wear out.

This book is much more than a dating book. It teaches interpersonal skills as well. I am always seeking ways to grow and I think this book does a great job of giving advice. It is a keeper for me.

This is not just how to meet people, but an excellent book on sorting out your priorities on what you want in a relationship, being upfront with your dates about what you are looking for, and doing this by the third date-- how to build and maintain healthy relationships as the title states. I would highly recommend it!!

Finding this book really made me come to my senses where dating is concerned. Instead of just trial and error, I have an idea of what to do and when to do it. This book picks up the pace as it goes along, and has good material for having better relationships in general. "Date Lines" is next!

As a man who is in his mid-thirties I am ready to be in a commited relationship. I feel like a lot of the books that are out there are for how to pick up women in thirty seconds and they are somewhat funny but don't help and not what I am after. If you want to read that kind of book look elsewhere. This book provided good advice as far as steps to take to head in the right direction. I bought this with the book "Stumbling Naked in the Dark" upon suggestion of a friend that I work with and they worked well together for me.

I bought this book after a devastating break up; I was looking for some understanding and help to get though this tough time. The problem in my last relationship was communication so the title of this book was important to me... Boy I'm glad that I found and read Nina's book. It helped me realize the mistake I had made along the way and understand that it wasn't entirely "his" fault. Through reading this book, I learned how to be honest with my self and how to be honest with others. I thought long and hard about what I want from a relationship, love and life. I have come to the conclusion that EVERYONE should read this book. Relationships truly are a two way street, and the author really knows how to express that. I think that I'm going to go and buy copies for all my good friends and hope that they will get as much out of this book as I did.

A real game-plan for dating with the idea of finding a lasting relationship, not just another rollercoaster. Progressively getting better from chapter to chapter, it gives substance to the process of getting to know someone. The insights on communication and the actual relationship information was as much or more valuable than building a "date". Atwood's "Date Lines" is the same way, in that the meat of the book is far more powerful than the title indicates.

I found this book very interesting, helpful, and an excellent educational tool. I would recommend this book to anyone who is in a dating relationship and also for pregnant teens and others who are entering into the social/dating world following a break-up.

The dialogue is honest, concise, in-depth, and written well. The reader is treated like an intelligent person who can think and make sound judgments when in a dating or other relationship.

I especially liked Part II, The Relatiohsip and the chapters dealing with Attachment, Sex, Love, and Communication. These chapters address and discuss what is needed to talk about before entering into a committed exclusive relationship. I read it last year and reviewed several chapters again in 2002 to keep myself on track.

Regarding any advice on dating and interpersonal relationships,
the information should be assimilated and used prudently. Human behavior is, for the most part, unpredictable and to adhere to a set dating plan or to categorize a person as a North/South/East/Westbound Train is unrealistic. But the book defines the user, non-committed, and unavailable people and lists warining signs of the Westbound (not available for a committment but has a desire to be with you).Dating goals should be based on individual preferences, lifestyle, and needs.