Your Defiant Child: Eight Steps to Better Behavior [Paperback]

Russell A. Barkley (Author), Christine M. Benton (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 6, 1998

Every child has "ornery" moments, but more than 1 in 20 American children exhibit behavioral problems that are out of control. For readers struggling with an unyielding or combative child, Your Defiant Child: Eight Steps to Better Behavior offers the understanding and guidance they need. Drawing on Dr. Russell A. Barkley's many years of work with parents and children, the book clearly explains what causes defiance, when it becomes a problem, and how it can be resolved. The book's comprehensive eight-step program stresses consistency and cooperation, promoting changes through a system of praise, rewards, and mild punishment. Readers learn tools and strategies for establishing clear patterns of discipline, communicating with children on a level they can understand, and reducing family stress overall. Filled with helpful charts, questionnaires, and checklists,Your Defiant Child helps parents get their child's behavior back on track and restore harmony in the home.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"This is a superb and extremely helpful book. Readers negotiating the icy roads and blizzard-like conditions of raising a defiant child will find that this book shifts them into four-wheel drive. The advice in these pages not only makes the road less treacherous--it helps parents drive it with confidence, and helps the whole family arrive at their destination happier and wiser for the trip they took. Barkley draws upon a wealth of experience with real families, as well as a thorough command of the latest research and scientific findings, to create an easy-to-read, practical, immensely informative work." --Edward M. Hallowell, MD, coauthor of Answers to Distraction

"This book distills the wisdom of an approach that Dr. Barkley and others have been developing for more than 20 years. As a school psychologist, I have used this program since 1990 in a group setting with over 1,300 parents, the majority of whom found it beneficial. Finally, parents have a manual to help them implement the program at home. It is supportive, nonjudgmental, and filled with practical suggestions and true-to-life anecdotes. All parents who are concerned about their children's behavior should read this book." --Frederick L. Quici, NCSP, Alta Loma School District, Alta Loma, California

"This book provides step-by-step, practical help for parents of children who are difficult to manage. It affords new hope to families desiring a more peaceful and fulfilling life together. Invaluable for parents, teachers, and clinicians." --Sylvia B. Rimm, PhD, author of Dr. Sylvia Rimm's Smart Parenting, Director, Family Achievement Clinic, MetroHealth Medical Center, Cleveland, Ohio

From the Publisher

From the author of TAKING CHARGE OF ADHD, over 125,000 in print.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 239 pages
• Publisher: Guilford Press; 1 edition (October 6, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1572303212
• ISBN-13: 978-1572303218
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.4 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (21 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #40,025 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

112 of 116 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars It really, really helped, June 25, 2002

By 

"jschult" (Hamilton, NY United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Your Defiant Child: Eight Steps to Better Behavior (Paperback)

When my husband got this book we were at our wits' end with our four year old. I was beginning to believe she had no conscience at all. We had a three week wait before we could get in to see the child psychologist. This book helped us understand what was going on, that her behavior wasn't our "fault" but that we were a factor, and that we could actually influence her behavior - which at the time seemed impossible. The process Barkley recommends seemed slow at the time, but looking back, it worked amazingly quickly! We didn't get through all 8 steps; just steps 1-3 made such a difference that we didn't need to. The psychologist we saw, while he hadn't read this book, said it seemed to be very much in line with current clinical practice, and encouraged us to use it. A year and a half later, we do have to go back and make sure we give our child her "special time" (one of the steps) or she slips back into some of her bad habits, but we are actually enjoying being parents now. This is not just a "self-help" type book, though it does give self-tests to help you evaluate your situation. It has a lot of substance, and discusses clinical differences between ADHD, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, and Conduct Disorder in a clear, professional way.

68 of 72 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Valuable Help for Parents at Their Wit's End .. ., May 10, 2001

By 

Leon F. Seltzer, PhD "lseltze1" (Del Mar, CA USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Your Defiant Child: Eight Steps to Better Behavior (Hardcover)

The author, eminent in his field and writing from many years of clinical experience and research, has produced a state-of-the-art book on dealing with defiant children. The book is particularly useful in stressing the fundamental importance of taking a positive approach to the child's misbehaviors--focusing on praise and coming up with effective incentives to promote better behavior, rather than continuing with criticism, punishment and the kinds of misguided parental discipline that (with these types of children, at least) serve to worsen both the problem and the child's already impaired self-esteem.

The book elaborates on a program that requires a great deal of discipline on the part of the parents to carry out. But it really is "the ticket" for reprograming the child to change behaviors that are both problematic and potentially very serious to his/her healthy development.

It's simple enough. All kids adopt and change behavior based on basic principles of reinforcement. This book clarifies just how to reward the behaviors that are wanted and successfully discourage or even eradicate behaviors that are so troublesome. This book should be a "godsend" to parents who have felt totally inadequate to deal with the challenges of such a temperamentally difficult youngster.

30 of 31 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Handle your child with love, May 18, 2005

By 

Borneo Ranger (Vienna, Austria) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Your Defiant Child: Eight Steps to Better Behavior (Paperback)

I read the book in 2001. It has impressed me ever since. I have several books on this subject. I consider this book is the best.

The book provides you with the principles and methods to handle a very stubborn kid (but not the kid with a mental disorder).
For example, the biggest thing a kid needs is love. But what is love concretely? It is an attention. It is the time that we spend with the kid. But how to spend the time effectively? It is not by controlling him/her. It is by giving him/her the freedom to enjoy the time spent together.

I have not followed exactly the methods provided in the book, but the concept has been very useful for me to deal with my child.