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Your Defiant Teen, First Edition: 10 Steps to Resolve Conflict and Rebuild Your Relationship Paperback – February 2, 2008


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 326 pages
  • Publisher: The Guilford Press; 1 edition (February 2, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1593855834
  • ISBN-13: 978-1593855833
  • Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.4 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (25 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #461,596 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Barkley, research professor of psychiatry at SUNY–Syracuse Medical University and author (with Benton) of Your Defiant Child, and Robin (director of psychology training at Children's Hospital of Michigan) share between them 60 years of clinical and research experience studying the defiant behavior of children and adolescents. The first part of their comprehensive defiance-busting system helps parents define and assess the problem. The authors provide a chart to help readers gauge their child's behavior, then outline four factors that contribute to defiance: the teen's and parents' characteristics (which are unchanging), stress (which can be alleviated somewhat) and parenting style (which can be substantially modified). Part Two delves into the principles for reversing or preventing defiance, with sections on one-on-one time (including how to accomplish this with an uninterested teen), managing behavior and choosing appropriate punishments and rewards, to name a few. Without placing blame, the authors reveal that parents often unwittingly make a bad situation worse; the text gives solid tips on how to work toward a positive outcome and offers a variety of scenarios, demonstrating precisely how a parent's words and actions can be the source of a teen's compliant or defiant response. In the end, the authors offer a useful and detailed approach that respects the rights and expectations of parents and teens. (Feb.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

"The very best book of its kind for parents dealing with behaviorally difficult teens. Valuable real-life examples illuminate not just what defiance looks like, but why it happens, and how to bring about change while strengthening family relationships. This will be the first book I recommend to the families I work with."--Sam Goldstein, PhD, Department of Psychology, George Mason University

"Drs. Barkley and Robin have hit gold--this book is a real treasure! The book provides very practical strategies for managing teenagers' behavior and enhancing family relationships. It is written specifically for parents, but professionals and students also will find it a 'must read.' The authors should be congratulated for this brilliant work that will be of value to so many families in the years to come."--Ronald T. Brown, PhD, Dean, Temple University College of Health Professions; Editor, Journal of Pediatric Psychology
 
"Drs. Barkley and Robin have blended their talents and years of clinical experience in putting together this 'must-read' book for all parents struggling with a teenager's vexing, challenging, and frustrating behavior. The book delivers tried-and-true techniques for resolving conflict in parent-teen relationships, together with wonderful practical tips and FAQs."--Gerald J. August, PhD, Department of Psychiatry, University of Minnesota Medical School
 
"This practical book shows how real change starts with you, the parent, and provides empowering tools and step-by-step guidance for making a positive difference in teen behavior. It is an excellent resource that will help you become a stronger positive influence in your teen's life."--Sharon K. Weiss, MEd, coauthor of From Chaos to Calm and Angry Children, Worried Parents

"As my son enters his adolescent years, I am thrilled to have this book! It is an easy read with many practical, commonsense ideas to try. The checklists and step-by-step approaches are very inviting. With all the pages to personalize our specific problem areas, it felt as though this book were truly written for my family. I am thrilled to be able to implement positive practices instead of always dwelling on the negative. I have already told many fellow parents and teachers about this book."--Lisa Boyadjian, elementary school teacher and parent of a 12-year-old

"Another essential work from Drs. Barkley and Robin. With most books in this area focused on children, there is a great need for practical, evidence-based information related to adolescents and their conflicts with family members. A 'must read' for parents, clinicians, and all those interested in the often-trying area of teen/n-/family interactions."--Stephen P. Hinshaw, PhD, Department of Psychology, University of California, Berkeley



"A practical missive to parents confronting defiance....Your Defiant Teen delivers on its promise. It is a directive book that encourages parents to take back authority while simultaneously respecting the magic process of burgeoning independence....The examples are diverse and inclusive as they span the teen years. The problem behaviors vary from sneaking time on the Internet to covert midday romantic encounters at the expense of regular school attendance. These descriptions seem empowering for parents because they help define the problem and help parents feel less isolated in dealing with the difficult teen....Your Defiant Teen is an empathy-building, empowering, and practical book. It is a wonderful tool for highly motivated parents looking to master techniques for dealing with defiance....The sections of the book that help build insight into defiance as the task of adolescence and frame general healthy interactions could be helpful to all types of parents dealing with defiance. Defiance is a tough foe, and this book should be a real help to parents struggling to put defiance in its place."--Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
(Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry 2008-02-04)

"The authors have much experience in dealing with Oppositional and Defiant teens. They have included in this self-help book many practical and useful hints, ideas, and strategies that many parents may find helpful. Their trying to discriminate which level and sort of problems may need professional help and which can be tackled by simply using this book is a plus....It can be a positive adjunct to therapists working with this population by providing parents an additional resource to consult between therapy sessions. It is a good example of a targeted book that can be recommended."--Child and Family Behavior Therapy
(Child and Family Behavior Therapy 2008-02-04)

"Barkley and Robin provide a systematic and well-organized approach for caregivers to develop the tools and techniques with which to manage defiant behavior in teenagers by first understanding what it is and realizing some of the contributing factors resulting in maladaptive negative behavior patterns. The ultimate payoff after immersing oneself in their 10-step program is living more harmoniously with your teenager as they assert their growing independence."--Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics
(Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics 2008-02-04)

"This practical guide provides a tool for parents to nurture teens through this difficult stage of development with compassion, consistency, and structure....The book's style is consistently instructive, and as a parent of a teenager, I was able to relate to the realistic examples presented....As both a parent of a teenaged child and an advocate of positive behavior management, I find this book to be an invaluable resource by which parents can resolve and work through the difficult and often devastating issue of teen defiance. The book and its program offer the possibility of change for both parents and teens, as well as hope for families in distress. The book is not only informative but enjoyable, and I believe that any family with a teenaged child would benefit from reading and applying the ideas it promotes."--Journal of Child and Family Studies
(Journal of Child and Family Studies 2008-02-04)

"Extremely thorough and readable....Much more detailed and parent-oriented than [others], this will be...much in demand."--Library Journal
(Library Journal 2008-02-04)

"[This] comprehensive defiance-busting system helps parents define and assess the problem....Without placing blame, the authors reveal that parents often unwittingly make a bad situation worse; the text gives solid tips on how to work toward a positive outcome and offers a variety of scenarios, demonstrating precisely how a parent's words and actions can be the source of a teen's compliant or defiant response. In the end, the authors offer a useful and detailed approach that respects the rights and expectations of parents and teens."--Publishers Weekly
(Publishers Weekly 2008-02-04)

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Customer Reviews

I love my teenagers now that I understand them better.
fiddler
We are currently in counseling but this book has been very useful in getting to specifics and examples of defiant behavior.
Amazon Customer
I will need to read the book again to identify steps to help my family reconnect.
Angela Settle-Glenn

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

19 of 20 people found the following review helpful By John Atkin on March 25, 2008
Format: Paperback
This is an excellent book for all parents who are stuggling with discipline issues with their children. I recommend this book in my practice for parents of teenagers. The authors have extensive experience and they do not treat the subject simplistically.
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18 of 19 people found the following review helpful By fiddler on February 15, 2009
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Teenagers can be so tough to deal with. This great book gives some background about what is happening developmentally as well as a step by step program to restoring some of the positive in your relationship with your teenager. Written for parents, but as a teacher, I also found this book to be a lifesaver. I love my teenagers now that I understand them better. We still have our rough spots, but I don't get as freaked out about handling them as before. Read this book!!!
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19 of 21 people found the following review helpful By Midwest Book Review on May 5, 2008
Format: Paperback
Teenage rebellion seems to be a natural part of growing up - but there's a point where it goes too far and raises concern. "Your Defiant Teen: 10 Steps To Resolve Conflict and Rebuild Your Relationship" is a guide for parents to help them establish their authority without the need for a messy and hurtful power struggle. 10 steps to encourage better behavior and a mutual respect between yourself and your teen. Authors Dr. Russell A. Barkley & Dr. Arthur L. Robin are skilled in this department and pass on their expertise to you. Soundly recommended to any parent who has a teenager or community library parenting shelves in general.
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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful By KM on June 29, 2009
Format: Paperback
This is a great book for parents with teens, especially if you are feeling frustrated and at the end of your rope. Its easy to read, easy to understand and easy to practice what you read. And it makes sense.
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14 of 15 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer on March 25, 2009
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
We have found this book to be very useful in dealing with our 13 yr old son. We are currently in counseling but this book has been very useful in getting to specifics and examples of defiant behavior.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful By L. Vickers on January 8, 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Ahh....teenagers. Some good reading material in this book. Good advice. Some things work better than others, but I think it all depends on your own teen and own circumstances. However, I don't think you can go wrong with having as much information and ideas as you can get.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By allym on July 7, 2012
Format: Hardcover
This is very well written and relevant. I found the recommendations to be authentic and when implementing some of the techniques I found myself making significant progress in improving my relationship with my son. Read with an open mind and be prepared to make some changes as a parent while asking your son/daughter to do the same! :) Highly recommend.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By G in Ohio on April 16, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This is an excellent book for most people, especially considering that most discipline books are only for small children. It's a great system. But if your child has some serious mental or emotional issues, you will need more than this. Even if that's the case, though, it should help a lot.
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