Customer Reviews

Your Erroneous Zones: Step-by-Step Advice for Escaping the Trap of Negative Thinking and Taking Control of Your Life

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In YOUR ERRONEOUS ZONES, Wayne Dyer encourages his readers to ask themselves this question: "How long am I going to be dead?" Dyer suggests that taking such an "eternal perspective" will aid one in gaining a more "take charge" stance in life. Life is a risk, and we are all going to die anyway, so why not do what we want with our lives? This has been one of the most helpful self-help books I have ever found. In fact, I think it may be THE best self-help book I've ever read. This is one of the "classics," and many others have taken its lead. I believe this is Wayne Dyer's best work.

The other not-so-pretty reality of life that Dyer suggests we face is that things are not fair, and they never will be. In chapter 8, "The Justice Trap," the author writes bluntly about the fact that injustice is committed every day and that if one has enough money one can get away with it. Poor people will rot in jail, while rich people get a slap on the wrist for the same crime. It is not an "erroneous zone" (self-defeating behavior) to notice the injustices of this world; the erroneous zone is the belief that becoming incapacitated with anger, guilt, worry, or indignation, by the injustices will change anything. Many heroic people try to change the injustices, and they are to be commended. But they often fail because they are against impossible odds. Year after year, century after century, the privileged few get away with what the rest of us do not. Is it fair? No! Should we convince ourselves that it is okay? No! Should we fool ourselves into believing incapacitating ourselves with worry and anger is going to change anything? No, again. If you can do something to end an injustice, then do it. If you can't, don't feel guilty.

I also enjoyed Dyer's candor on the hypocrisy of educational institutions, and found it surprising considering that he himself is a professor. He notes that one of the greatest "erroneous zones" is the need for approval, and then he points out that schools are one of the main culprits in instilling the need for approval in people. From the moment you walk into a school, he says, you are told where to sit, how to talk, what to write, how to think, control, control, control, and then you are graded according to your willingness to hand your mind over to the authority figures. Students with high self-esteem, who are full of self-love, and who are not susceptible to guilt and worry, are systematically labeled "trouble makers" by the school faculty. The inference is clear: ridding oneself of guilt and erroneous zones often means going against the very fabric of this society.

This is a radical book! And it's been a good friend for years. I had the honor of meeting Mr. Dyer a few years back at a book signing, and he seems to live what he preaches.

This book is one of the best books, perhaps even the best book I've ever read in terms of gaining control over one's life. It is truly empowering in the best sense of the idea. It comes down to the fact that you are a "choice making individual". No matter what the situation is that comes up you can still choose how to react to it.

To illustrate... I used to believe that I had certain tendencies (like "worrying" about all the "what ifs" for example) that were somehow out of my control. The idea of buying into the idea that some things were just "family traits" that I was helplessly born into, that "we come from a family of neurotic people who worry".

I have a particular favorite story which is on the audio tape version of the book (I can't remember if it's in the printed version of the book.... the audio seems pretty much like he's extemporizing on the principles outlined in the book). He tells of how he was in a restaurant and the manager/owner of the restaurant is getting very upset and emotional at an employee. Dr. Dyer says to the guy something like "Look at yourself, you're going to give your self a heart attack by the time your fifty" to which the gentleman replies "I am fifty two and I had a heart attack two years ago" to which Dr. Dyer says something like "Then why do you do this to yourself ? " to which the fellow says "What do you want from me.... I'm Italian !" ..... as if that was an explanation for why he was getting himself all worked up.

Wayne really helps one realize that they don't have to "buy into" feeling like they are helpless victims of their cultural background, family dynamics and, Genetic tendencies etc. While these may all seem to be the same thing there are in fact subtle differences between them.

I have recommended this book and it's audio version for countless people who have felt "out of control" of their emotions.

The ideas in this book really work if you are willing to finally let go of the mental crap in your life that is holding you back from being happier and healthier in every way. This is not to put on Rose Colored glasses, but to be able to "catch yourself" before you go into reacting the way you "always do" and really asking yourself if it is necessary.

Of course there are things in life where "worry" (for example if a loved one is ill) might be an unavoidable and compassionate emotion. But I'm talking about the sort of "worry" that is about things that "might happen". How many people spin endless tales of woe that will never come to pass.

Regarding Waynes other work, much of it has gone the way of the worst sort of New Age thought.

While I personally think that there is much New Age thinking that can be beneficial (especially in terms of having people more accepting of others rather than being narrow minded and bigotted), often it seems to be used to avoid having compassion (as in the idea that "Everything is perfect" so why help starving people).

This being said, "Erroneous Zones" is still one of those books I will always recommend and re-read (or listen to) when I find myself slipping into old mental habit patterns.

Another book along these lines that I also highly recommend is "Full Catastrophe Living" by Jon Kabot Zinn.

YOUR ERRONEOUS ZONES is deservedly a bestseller. It takes the fundamental insights of cognitive therapy and makes them accessible to a large and diverse audience. The chapters of this book each pertain to important domains of human experience such as approval seeking, guilt and worry and self esteem. However, this book also goes beyond cognitive therapy concepts and adds the inspirational insights of humanistic psychology. The book concludes with a chapter on what it looks like to overcome your erroneous zones (maladaptive beliefs) and achieve self-actualization.

When I first encountered this book, I read it at least a half dozen times. There is a wealth of excellent practical advice that can be immediately applied to whatever your life situation happens to be. Dr. Dyer also has a gift for putting his ideas across in a simple, straightforward manner without a lot of jargon.

At least one writer pointed out that this book was written prior to Wayne Dyer's New Age phase. This is true and it does have a different tone from some of his later books. It is more likely to appeal to a wider audience than some of his later material which does have a stronger New Age flavor. PULLING YOUR OWN STRINGS, also from this earlier period is another excellent book and builds on the concepts developed in this one.

I'm a reader,and I like to read this kind of books, and, to tell you the true, YOUR ERRONEOUS ZONES has been one of the best books I have ever read in my life. I remember I read it by first time when I was 16 years old, and I notice there were changes in my life. It helped me to feel better with myself and also it opened my eyes to the world,because I could see the world and human beings from a different prospect, and, the most important;it increased my self-confidence,because of the fact I started to have better human relations ship with people I delay everyday,that's why, I really recomend this book to everyone,mainly young people,because if you follow these advices and you learn how to aply to your daily life, I am sure you'll get good results. It's important to mention after reading this book I realize if you get angry for anything, or for other people,because they are "different" from you,or because happen something you didn't expect from any person or any situation,you are not going to make anything good,because all of them are in control of your life.It was one of the most interestin teachings I learned from this book, because, you are the only person who can control your life. You should read it. It's up to you to do it. Thanks.....

This book showed me a way out of 14 years of self-destructive behavior. The ideas expressed are SO simple and after reading just the first few chapters I knew that I had finally stumbled onto a gold mine of "how to live the happiest life possible." I would like to comment about the review from Feb 2002, Dr. Dyer does not "over-stress the idea of complete personal autonomy" in regard to marital relationships. What Dr. Dyer stresses is that if a person gives up something unwillingly; because of guilt, worry, or out of the need for approval, etc., then THAT is the point where it becomes an erroneous zone (self-defeating behavior) giving freely and lovingly to a spouse/significant other must come from personal choice.
This is an outstanding book! I have my mom's original copy from 1976 and never read it until now. Some of the references are a little dated (songs quoted, cultural-norm examples) but the message transcends time. I HIGHLY recommend this book, especially if you feel you've lost control of your own happiness.

This wonderful book was recommended to me by a good friend who told me, "it helped me learn how to knock my old habits." I thought it was worth a shot. I picked up a copy at the bookstore & started reading... The first thing I have to say is: thank you Wayne Dyer! Your Erroneous Zones is a guide for everyone. We all have habits developed in our growth years that are influenced by our society and parents...most of these habits are what keep us in a detrimental "comfort zone" that pervents us from embracing the true happy, loving self we really are. I have circulated my now worn and dog-eared copy to all of my friends and family. The wonderful life choices they are making now are thrilling to me because I know they have used this book as a guide to teach themselves self-love & self-worth. So have I. Thanks again Wayne!

I don't know that any one review can do justice to this book, but I will contribute mine, in order to help anyone considering buying Your Erroneous Zones.

In short, this book is no less than the basis for modern psychology. If you have been to counseling, literally all the general advice you will ever receive is derived from this book. The goal of every one of us to to become self-actualized.

A self-actualized person is someone who is happy and enjoys life no matter what their circumstances are. As Dyer says, happiness always comes from within. We are happy when we choose to be happy.

The "erroneous zones" are negative, pointless emotions such as worry, guilt, depression, helplessness, anger, and neediness. We can choose not to feel those emotions. We can also choose to stop procrastinating.

Our happiness, again, comes completely from within. There are some things that we cannot change, such as injustice, poverty, and crime, can work to solve those worldly problems without choosing to feel depressed and helpless.

Your Erroneous Zones is filled to the brim with pearls of wisdom. I find myself constantly re-reading the book in order to make new discoveries. Today, for example, I pondered this statement by Dyer: "Make a decision to live five minutes at a time."

When we do that, then procrastination becomes pointless. Feeling unhappy becomes pointless. Dwelling on mistakes from the past becomes pointless. Boredom becomes pointless. (es, boredom is another emotion that we choose to feel.)

How do you feel right now? And why did you choose to feel that way? The bottom line is that we choose the way we want to feel...

My mother recommended this book to me- she had an old 1970s edition, when it was first released. It soon fell apart because I read and lended it to so many people, so many times. This is an incredible book that states in simple, beautiful terms the intrinsic ability for everyone to control how they feel, love themselves, and LOVE LIFE! If you ever find yourself apologising for no reason, allowing others to manipulate you, or feel depressed based on externalities, Wayne Dyer describes specific steps one can take to never be bored or out of control again, ironically by realizing so much of life is OUTSIDE of our control, and thus the only thing we can control is our reaction to life.

"Get busy living, or get busy dying"
- The Shawshank Redemption

Highly recommended self-help and self-esteem builder- this book will, if not change your life, teach you steps to take control of it! :-)

I was in high school and messed up..... I was picked on and ridiculed. I had a very low self esteem. I got ahold of this book and it opened my eyes. I grew leaps and bounds. Most of the books I had read up to this point would leave you knowing you were a mess, but did not explain how to fix it. I couldn't wait for his next book Pull your own Strings, but this book was just a rehash of the first. If you are letting people control you and need to get a grip this is a must read. I found the last chapter hard to deal with. I am now 40 and happy. I will enjoy reading this book again and rechecking the last chapter

First things first: there are some very fundamental principles to learn in this book if you were not aware of them already. These include trusting in yourself and not having to rely on others, present-moment thinking, the rejection of negative emotions, separating your self image from other-oriented criticism and failure, etc. Indeed, there is a lot of good content here. Dyer can get repetitive, sometimes filling out a chapter with the same information said over and over in different ways, but I guess that's okay.

Okay, now that that's out of the way...

I was very confused with the numerous sexual references in the book. Sometimes it seems mildly inappropriate, and other times it just outright catches you off guard. This occurs mostly toward the beginning of the book. One incident in particular occurs in chapter 2. In regards to leaning how to love yourself, Dyer suggests standing nude in front of a mirror, exploring yourself sensually, with the aim of achieving "goose-bumps of shivery pleasure." I haven't read other self-help books. Maybe this is a common theme? I sure didn't see it coming.

Another complaint I had was in Dyer's perception of ideal relationships with others. He argues that holding any person above yourself is a grave mistake. No one is better than you. It's a bad idea to have idols or heroes, says Dyer. He brings forth obscurities as refusing to call your dentist "doctor," for that gives him prestige for his title that he doesn't deserve. Really? Wow. There are numerous nit-picks like this throughout the book--strange rituals between the lines.

Furthermore, one should never, according to Dyer, aid someone who needs you. He says it is better to refuse to help them, with the goal of teaching them to help themselves. The last time I checked, the phrase "need" means their request was not an optional favor--they are in trouble. I guess that's not how Dyer sees it.

The overlying theme that I could not overlook is essentially this: your personal happiness and fulfillment are paramount to everything else. Never feel bad. Even at a funeral, show no negative emotion. Compassion is a waste of present moment time where you could be feeling happy. If you don't like something, don't do it. It does not matter what anyone else thinks, or who it affects for the worse.

It's just an inflated, egotistical world view, and Dyer even acknowledges to disregard people who call you selfish for it.



So yes.. I'm not sure how to feel about this one. There is definitely some content to make it worth the read, but at the same time the peculiarities mentioned leave you feeling uncomfortable at times and offended at others.